continuez, my friends
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Today Richy and Juan are working on the house. They're framing a door
and cutting out a window....
maybe working on the deck.
It is very interesting to me to watch these guys work. I will be moving
my station into the living room to observe. Until they cut out a window
over my couch. I probably have to leave then.
I watched while they built this place, and it really is amazing to see
it all come together. I'm welcome to stay and watch as long as I only
speak when I'm spoken to. If I talk too much Juan says I'm distracting
He yells at them but he always says it very nicely to me.
Richy talks as he works... about measurements and tools and plans for
looking out the window, etc. Juan doesn't talk much. When it's all
finished we all say how beautiful it all looks and he looks pleased and
then goes back to his house to watch football, if it's late. If it's
early he goes and works on something else.
I'm getting used to this medicine. I shake most of the time and I
always feel a little jumpy and sped up, but it seems to be working as
far as contractions... so ok. I probably act kind of like my dad's
final cat, Tut.
OHHHH and Andy and Beth brought enchiladas last night! YAY! They were
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
just a quick checkup.... of course I have the nervous stomach I always
get before these things... update later
So glad to see the blog was hoppin while I was out... My cervix is still closed. Hallelujah! Makes me want to do a jig... I won't though...
Who knows what effect a jig would have...
Now to read thru all these comments...
BIG ultrasound next Tuesday!
Monday, August 29, 2005
"Your baby is now about the size of an avocado (about 5 inches / 12.7 centimetres long
from crown to rump and weighing approximately 6 ounces / 170 grams).
In the next three weeks he'll go through a tremendous growth spurt,
doubling his weight and adding inches to his length.
In or out of the womb, babies are playful creatures. Yours may already
have discovered his first toy — the umbilical cord — which he'll enjoy
pulling and grabbing. Sometimes he may even clutch it so tight that
less oxygen gets through, but don't worry — he doesn't hold onto it
long enough to harm himself. The circulatory system and urinary tract
are in full working order, and he's inhaling and exhaling amniotic
fluid through his lungs."
Moving on up, folks... from a lime when I started to an avocado now..... mmmm limes and avocados...
I begin new pregnancy weeks on Mondays... we need a celebratory title for Mondays.....
Sunday, August 28, 2005
After I posted, I went and got Richy to come and talk to me. Sometimes
fear goes away easier when I talk about it.
So he laid here and talked to me and preached at me and prayed.... and
then it started raining. On my tin roof... and it was all very
After a while he went back and started working on his CD again.
And it was so weird and comforting and deja-vu.
Laying in my dark room, very tired and comfortable. And feet away music
is blaring, stopping, changing.... editing....
it was such a flashback to my life with my dad. Different, but so
familiar. I remember falling asleep to every kind of music or
narration, or ocassionally, explosions. And the sound had to be
revamped, over and over again.
I'm so grateful that I don't just have hands llke Daddy. or no butt. Or
irreverent humor at the most inopportune times in my head. All of those
things are a blessing.
But the music at midnight.... a gift.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Thursday I started noticing what felt like contractions when I was
lying down.... I wasn't sure because I'm only 16 weeks and they didn't
feel as noticeable as when I usually identify them at 20 or more weeks.
But, they continued, so I called my doctor yesterday and she had me
come up to the hospital to Labor and Delivery where they have all the
My contractions aren't painful... they're just like when your stomach
tightens because you're nervous or something.
So, they put me on the monitor and I was having small contractions very
frequently. They continued to monitor me all day. Part of their
strategy for me has been progesterone injections, which are supposed to
relax the uterus so it's less likely to contract. I was supposed to
start getting weekly injections this past week. But the company got all
tangled up in insurance paperwork, so they never came and gave me the
The nurse will be here today to give me the first one.
Also, they put me on a medication called Terbutaline.... which is
another contraction stopper. It speeds up your heart rate, so you have
to take your pulse before you take it... very interesting taking my
pulse. I've never done it before. It's supposed to have a side effect
of making you feel jittery, but I didn't really notice too much
difference! My hands shake a little but basically I feel ok.
So that was my official intro to bedrest. I can still get up to go to
the bathroom, etc. for a few weeks before I'm completely grounded.
Oh, and very good news is I had an ultrasound and my cervix (sorry mom)
is still in good shape so the contractions I had didn't affect it. YAY
Thank you so much, everybody for praying. The whole situation turned
around after my mom started calling people to pray. I went hours
without a contraction!
And continue to pray!
Friday, August 26, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
"Girls like a guy with skills" - N.D.
Some may think my son Richy (how can I say this politically correct)
may have some minor defects in his makeup. However, I have found him
to be a hidden genius. Here are a few skills I have discovered in the
last few years.
Richy is very good at knocking on doors.
Richy can throw away his own diaper in the trash. ( How many of you
can do that? )
Richy is an excellent debater. ( "no, you are a cheeseburger" )
Richy knows how to give a guy some "trouble." ( i.e. He's a mini Hulk
Richy can sing in key about any KSBJ song you like, or even don't like.
Richy can scream real loud.
Richy understands sarcasm. ( He's the son of the queen of sarcasm )
Richy knows how to get down. ( that is, dance 'till ya drop )
Richy can almost quote the entire "Toy Story 2" film. ( even carrying
on conversations with Wood and Buzz)
and finally Richy knows how to give some "loves." ( look out ladies )
- The Other Richy...
Doing some serious leaning toward Tobias.... of course, we'd call him
Toby but Tobias will look good on his medical license.
Topic of the day:
What do you think of the little kids on Barney's show? Need I say
Nah.... I don't like that topic... to continue on the costume theme for the MCF worship teams...
Sanctuary: maybe nice khaki jumpsuits with what color sequins?
CTK: definitely purple.... maybe rhinestone sunglasses
TFH: Black jumpsuits with maybe diamonds and lots of hair creme....
or am I wrong?
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Well, Help Me Jesus Clark is as of yet unnamed. Here's some
frontrunners (we're serious)
Middle names Edwards (as in Jonathan Edwards)
But we're not crazy about any of these names. Maybe we'll just call him
I have also had Festis Clinton Clark suggested by Tim Davis.... this
makes initals FCC. Amusing....
I feel pretty good. It's a relief to know that my physical body is
ok... I can rest and not worry about it as much.
Also, I start having weekly dr appointments this week. So that will not
be fun at all from an exam standpoint but great for peace of mind.
I may write another piece about What You Can Do To Help as people have
been asking you guys... then you could email them that blog. I guess.
Wonder where Georgia is today. Probably hiding her head in shame.
COMING SOON: HOT TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION
(i.e. How did the (former) purple carpet at Christ the King make you feel? (just an example))
Monday, August 22, 2005
Everything looks good... my cervix is still long, which is GREAT. I
start getting progesterone shots sometime this week....
No name for this baby yet. We have liked a few a lot, but not longterm.
And some we didn't like at all.
I haven' t been online yet, so not sure what terrific names Julie's
baby is getting. Just keep em coming, folks.
Ok I've read it now.... Very nice comments coming in while I was gone.
I'm planning to register for my big stuff at Babies R Us.... haven't done
it yet. I might do it all online.
Help Me Jesus' mama
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Today I did ride on the cart at Target. NOT FUN. It was kind of like
driving a standard. Well, the way I drive a standard.
And people just walk right in front of it all the time like you can and
will stop on a dime. Sheesh.
But I registered for some stuff and then felt pretty un-good physically
so came home and will finish registering online, sometime.
Now, about Julie's baby. She thinks it's a boy and wants his name to
start with J. Knock yourselves out.
Yesterday was the most boring day of my life. I think.
Richy was busy all day so R2 and I just laid around and did nothing.
You may be saying to yourself, "Not good! She has to lay around for 5
or maybe you're not. But if you are...
Once I get all my books and arts and crafts and my Netflix membership,
I should be able to keep myself much more busy. Yesterday, I ran out of
library books, had no movies and no crafts. I watched Divorce Court,
Texas Justice and Judge Judy.
Then I drew some pictures.
Then I played solitaire.
Today, I am meeting my home group at Starbucks. Then I may go to Target
and see if they have a little cart I could ride on. And I'm picking up
my books from the library. By the time I get home I should be wiped out
and ready to lay around the rest of the day.
the name game continues. Every time I really like one, our child is
named that for an hour or two. Then, not so much.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Not having a boy name is already driving us nuts.... We really wanted
to name everybody after revivalists, but Jonathan and Charles are the
names of most of the remaining revivalists.
There is Smith Wigglesworth, but there you go.
I love the name Texas. I can't imagine a cooler name than Texas Clark.
(yes, I'm serious). The board of director won't even consider it.... we
could call him Tex for short. It's so great!
But anyhoo, back to the drawing board. I'd like to honor my dad, but
don't really want to use Calvin, despite the questionable continuing of
C3's line. I don't see how I could name a kid Stanley and expect him to
live through kindergarten P.E. There is Arthur (my dad's middle name,
and incidentally my brother and grandfather's as well) But there's a
cartoon character on PBS that has some renown.... so maybe no
Ian is a good name. Not nuts about it, but it's on the list.
Beacan is a name both of us like. The band says they would all beat up
a kid named Beacan (except Han) but that doesn't really bother me. He's
on the list.
Patrick after St. Patrick... only as a middle name cause we don't like
the nickname Pat. (no offense, Pats)
Richy stayed up all night reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
for the first time. Now that kind of activity warms a girl's heart....
ok. back to the name book.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I go in for an ultrasound at 2:30 today. Hopefully we'll be able to
tell the gender today.
(despite my ease in discussing my internal workings with strangers, I
don't like to say the SEX of the baby)
Anyhoo, painted my toenails a startling red. R2 was so jealous. He kept
putting his foot up by my hand, and even when I had the boys don't get
polish talk, no go. He was so insistent I am now baby-gated in my room
drying my nails in lonely splendor.
Been getting some questions about my upcoming bedrest. Here are some
1. What can I/We do to help?
•If you want to join the "food comittee" currently organizing at CTK,
you can email Terri Ramirez who is planning 3 meals a week for us....
what a blessing. mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
• I love books. I have read most of the Christian fiction out there,
but I'd read it all again if you wanted to buy or lend me books.
• Chick flicks, on VHS or DVD.... no S_E_X please
2. Do you want visitors?
Well, not for a while. It could potentially be a pretty tense time for
a month or two, and I tend to not rest or chill at all when I'm
visiting. Plus, I will be on STRICT bedrest (i.e. bedpan) Not the
3. What about phone calls?
I don't really like to talk on the phone, it takes more effort than
writing or emailing,
4. Are you an antisocial jerk?
Well, sort of. But that's not what any of this is about. I just have to
rest and chill out as much as I possibly can. So I can't do much
I want to express how much I appreciate everyone's concern and prayers.
The last thing I want to do is hurt or reject someone. So please have
mercy on me as I fight for my baby.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Yesterday I went to Walmart. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Walmart. I
even go on holiday Saturdays on purpose because I love all the people
shopping and grabbing their kids by the ear, etc.
But I was wiped out after 5 minutes. I went in with all these great
intentions of scoping out toys and crafts and whatnot for my bedrest. But nope, just a quick tour of the grocery aisles because I can't walk around normally anymore.
It's amazing that a baby this small can wreak such havoc on my body.
So I'm home again home again fiddle-dee-dee and basically staying in bed. Not as strictly as I will be, at all. Just taking it easy.
Monday, August 15, 2005
I hate talking on the phone. I mean, really hate it. Email has saved my
life as far as being able to talk to people.
I used to drive places and see people, but now I live in Midway. I
don't have the energy to drive ALL the way to Conroe, much less
If someone calls me and leaves a message, I assess. When will I see
this person again? In 3 days? Then I will answer this question then.
One of the worst phone offenses. (no one take offense) is when some
great tragedy is happening, and everyone says "So, call me when
your.... (dad dies, coma ends, car finally falls off the cliff edge)."
This has always puzzled me. Do other people like to talk on the phone?
It must be the case.
Sometimes the phone rings and rings. And I think, I should go and get
that. But it might be someone wanting to talk. You know, just catch up.
Well, that's another awkward situation. When people say, what have you
been up to? And I have laid in bed for 5+ hours, read a few books,
maybe made a couple PBJs.... on an exciting day I go to HEB and buy
more cilantro, Do people want to know this?
Sometimes, I want to know something, Hmm... I wonder if Leah had her
baby.... I toy with the idea of using the phone. I could CALL Leah. But
then I think, no, someone will call me. Hopefully Nate.
Nate is my favorite person to talk to on the phone. Here's how it goes.
Nate: You guys doing anything?
Nate: Let's eat at Fuddruckers at 1
and that's an EXTENSIVE conversation. No how are you? No how do you
feel today? No so, what have you been doing?
anyone who calls me and asks questions, this is not aimed at you. It's
just a cosmic reflection of my phone issues.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
( I'm sure the attentive world wide web, all 3 of you, would like to
hear from myself )
I have recently been taking note of funny things R2 says. Recently his
ramblings have been making more sense... sort of ..
While in the waiting room recently I asked R2 as he was singing and
"talking" excitedly , "What's going on in your head?"
He looked up at me and said "Peanut Butter ... (then pauses)... in my
head" That made me laugh out loud.
A few days ago he came up to Jessica in the living room and said, "Hi
Jessica" Jess says, "no, my name is mommy."
R2 replies, "No, ..... Jessica."
He always loves to pick a fight, most of the time when I walk into the
room he pushes me and taunts , "You don't want to fight ME"
Once I crush him like a butter finger wrapper, he then has the nerve to
come back for some more. If Jess and I are laying in bed with
R2 between us, we will both ask for kisses, sometimes mommy gets a
kiss and daddy get a "punch in the face."
In public Richy seems pretty shy, but when He's just with mommy and
daddy, he's a crazy dancing, rapping, fighting, kissing fool.
- Richy ( the one that can use a computer )
I am skipping today.... I have probably skipped 3 times in the last
month. The nice thing about today is that Richy and Richy both went. So
I am here alone.
Before anybody freaks, I am on modified bedrest... I can get up to go
to the bathroom and eat. And I promise to not move any furniture. DO
not come over here. I fully intend to read a massive novel from start
to finish without anybody wiping peanut butter on my arm.
I feel fine. I'm on antibiotics, but I have no symptoms anymore, which
is nice. We set up the room yesterday for my upcoming bedrest. (I
It's so cozy and clean in here. I like it a lot. I'll post a picture
Leah's in Oklahoma. 35+ weeks pregnant. If that's not tempting fate I
don't know what is. But if she has an Okie, she'll have him in a
hospital. Not in her oat bran birthing center. So she'll probably try
to hold out.
I'm just saying it's tempting fate. If I was fate, I'd probably zap her
for driving that far.
But knowing Leah and Nate, the baby will stay nicely put till they get
back. Because they plan things. And their plans work. This has always
puzzled me. Regardless, baby Kai is going to be an exciting addition to
and Val... it's even funnier because they're called CROW's feet.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
We'll be heading home today... sigh.
But, I do have 5 books waiting for me at the library. And tomorrow I
get to go to Babies R Us and Half Price Books! So that's kinda a
I had crab legs last night. Really, they are the best thing. I get them
twice a year... birthday and anniversary... mmmmmmm
I actually had the Ultimate Feast which also included lobster tail and
shrimp. It was so good. I sat there picking at the tiny little pieces
for a long time. It's such a violent thing to eat. BREAK the legs and
pull out the meat. Anyway....mmmmmm
I'm starting to deal with some emotions now... as I get closer. I can
feel myself trying not to think about this baby. I need to get in the
Bible and start surrounding myself again. Anytime I hide from God I
start getting sad or afraid.
Housekeeping came at 8:30 this morning. I told her come back later, but
isn't that pretty early? Sheesh.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
woke up today because R2 turned on the TV... We're in a hotel in
Houston. There was nothing fit for him to watch, so now he's arguing
loudly with Woody by the mirrored closet.
Yesterday we went to the zoo. I rode in a wheelchair. I've never ridden
in a wheelchair before and it's pretty uncomfortable. It's hot cause
it's vinyl and no air gets around you.... and cobblestones can be
pretty rough. Also, you have to have somebody hold doors open all the
time, and kind of jump the doorway frame thing.
We were hoping R2 would be really excited, but most of the animals were
too far away. He did get to see a lot of fish, and some large birds.
Oh the little orangutan was SOOOO cute. He was climbing all over his
little jungle gym. And the big one was just hanging out. Then the
zookeeper threw them some popsicles, and they hunkered down in the
corner to enjoy...
And of course the lions were beautiful. They're my favorite.
We went to the petting zoo, but that was a little concerning. He didn't
really want to touch the animals. Hey, I understand!
The neatest part was when he saw the giraffe... It was so huge and he
was so little. He stood right by the glass and looked up and watched it
for a long time.
And we went to an Astro's game. We sat way up in the 4th level but
right behind home plate. And really, we could see really good. I
enjoyed it a lot. It's my second game, and baseball is one sport where
at least I understand the rules. I had some VERY expensive
And the Astros won! So that was pretty fun. Then we lost the car and
walked around in Scary World for what seemed like a long time. When we
finally found it, I was so wiped out we decided maybe not to do much
But our hotel is close to IKEA. and it beckons me. And Shipleys.
I have now been married 9 years, It's been good. I can't really say
it's been fun... because the last 6 years have had so much tragedy. But
I can say there's nobody I'd rather walk it with.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
So tomorrow we're going to the zoo.... and the Astro's game. And we're
going to spend the night in Houston (2 nights) and maybe go to the IMAX
Ok, thats pretty fun. Oh and maybe have a picnic.
And CRAB for dinner because that's what I request for special
I think our hotel has free internet. If so, you shall hear more
Tomorrow is our 9th anniversary... we're thinking about hitting the
road for a few weeks...
We want to spend some time in DC with Lou E and the Cause. So the plan
is to drive there, taking our time. We'll stay with friends and camp.
The peanut-butter head will come with us.
Yes, I said camp. I am willing to do this because I want a vacation
real bad. Plus it might be fun with just us. (as opposed to a whole
band, no offense, guys)
PLUS there is the marshmallow factor. Which is high on my list of
so today we're supposed to plan and see how feasible the whole thing
is... how many days, where we would stop, how much it would cost...
will anyone want to see us in DC, etc.
Anybody got camping stuff you want to lend out?
Monday, August 8, 2005
Peter Jennings died today. I feel sad about that, and I don't really
know why. In recent years I haven't been able to stand watching his
broadcasts.... the bias was so obvious and so wrong.
But now he's dead and I feel a little disoriented. The old guard is
dying off. And my generation will have to step up and lead. And even
though the media is so skewed, even though I would watch the news and
think "I wonder if that's true?"... it's sad, somehow.
Do I really think Daisy Fuentes will lead us in an honest pursuit of
truth? How about Jessica Simpson? Or Jeff Probst?
You know what I mean? It's like we're in kindergarten and all the
teachers have left and now we have to figure it out. NOT that they were
right. But they were there.
You cannot know how I dread Rush dying. Who will pick up that baton?
I'll probably feel better after breakfast. It's just strange.
Sunday, August 7, 2005
Richy finally got home last night (morning) at 4 am. So he skipped
church (sinner) and R2 and I went.
Lindsey led worship and I am such a fan. sheesh.
Mexican food for lunch, and then we walked around the mall with our 9
dollars. The mall was crazy cause of tax free weekend... so I wanted to
leave as soon as we got there.
Home sweet home. Now time for a nap.
Saturday, August 6, 2005
This morning I woke up because someone was crashing into things in the
other room. I waited for tears or profanity... nothing.
So I got up and went in there and R2 is sitting in the middle of his
bedroom with a jumbo jar of peanut butter, trying to open it.
Cheerios didn't seem to be too much of a letdown.
He's getting very resourceful at hunting. Yesterday morning he had
somehow gotten 2 slices of bread out of the breadbag and was enjoying
them when I got up.
One time, I took a while to put away the groceries. I came in to find
him with a bag of fresh hot HEB tortillas, one bite out of each.
A kid's gotta do what he has to to survive, I guess.
Friday, August 5, 2005
So it appears if you click Other and put a name, at least you can post
WITH a name but not have to set up an account....
expecting the comments to come rolling in now.
Today I did the same basic thing I've done every day that Richy's out
of town. Nothing.
Tomorrow I shall clean, for home he comes. YAY! I have turned into a
weenie about him being gone.
Used to be, we didn't even miss each other till a week or so. Now, it
starts at 36-48 hours....
and the thing is, I'm lonely, but only for him. It wouldn't help to
hang out with anyone else. I like being alone. Or with Richy. When did
curiouser and curiouser...
Thursday, August 4, 2005
nothing much to report yet. I am still abed and unless I get hungrier
may stay here. Oh wait, that kid. I will rise in a moment and go pour
a large bowl of off-brand Cheerios. Aren't kids great? He loves off
Georgia- sorry to hear about that wreck. It make take a while to get
Heather back in the saddle. Here's a sad little story for those who
When I was 15, I took a Driver's Ed course at Conroe High. I completed
the course with an 86... not too bad. However, the gypsies who raised
me did not have the $325 necessary to pay for the course and thus, to
receive my license.
This didn't really concern me as I did have parents (albeit they were
gypsies) and a boyfriend with a '73 New Yorker.
.... a brief pause because someone is slamming a bowl on the table and
shrieking baby profanity...
... situation resolved. profane baby slurping some "cheerios" and
talking about Rush Wimbo and the Dimacwats...
So I had transportation everywhere, even though Daddy's cars would
sometimes catch on fire and the New Yorker (11 miles to the gallon)
sometimes had to be pushed to gas stations.
And I would cheerily, with my learners permit, drive fast with Daddy
as a passenger, windows down and U2 blaring... mama would never know.
That fateful day.... We were driving to church and I was on the back
part of Airport about to hit the Loop and then on down Airport... you
know. And I get there and there's a yellow light, turning to red. So I
try to sail through with Daddy screaming "STOP! STOP!" So, being
obedient and honoring my father, I stop. In the middle of the
intersection. Cars all around. And then he changes his tune. "GO! GO!
GO, BLEEPITY-BLEEPIT!" (not speaking ill of the dead, but he did not
say bleepity-bleepit.) So I went, with much wailing and gnashing of
teeth and broke down and sobbed in the CTK parking lot. Pottymouth is
by this time laughing and laughing. But I'm through, I tell him. My
driving days are over. Finis.
And I really didn't drive again until I was 21 and he was dead. I
remember being in his house and he was gone and I thought, why not
give it a shot. Nothing worse can happen. Then I failed three times.
**** Parallel parking. But, the moral of the story is, silly
Velazquezes... If you wait until you're 21 to get your license, you
never get to be alone. And by then you're lugging around a carseat
(well, maybe not) and you will never be alone ever again. Even in the
Learn, young grasshoppers. And take to the road while the takings good.
ok to take a break for 18 months or so.
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
This morning I woke up thinking about biscuits and gravy. I had to
finish a novel before I could get out of bed, but now that's done.
I toyed with the idea of making it from scratch. Nah.
Now the choice is IHOP or Dennys?
And when will my little sleepyhead wake up and stumble in here so we
Richy (my husband) was in San Antonio last night. He called around
11:30. I always answer the phone when it's that late because I need to
know if a meteor fell on the Woodlands and someone is letting me know.
But, it was Richy.
Really good ministry last night. The church was right with them from
the get-go, and they had a beautiful worship time.
The team had to get on the road at some unearthly hour this morning to
make it to El Paso by this afternoon and set up to play tonight!
They'll be there for 3 days, doing our conference and then he should be
home Saturday night.
Today, my packed schedule includes food, Rush Limbaugh and the library.
Pretty much heaven on earth, folks.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
Well, Dr Reed called today and my cervix is ok. So no cerclage for me.
YAY! You know, the less surgery I have to have, the better.
Now, for that discussion.
It's just kind of funny. I guess because I'm something of a public
person at church and everywhere. But I find I have to discuss my
internal workings with everyone. "Well, pastor, my cervix is doing
Last week a stranger (male) asked the cause of my preterm deliveries.
And I just couldn't do it... I just said something like "Oh, all my
deliveries were early" or something.
Imagine, if you will, being 20 something and spending most of your time
with 20 something males. Poor Radiant has anatomy awareness they never
bargained for. All because someone will randomly ask "what's a cervix?"
Maybe a nametag. Hi, I'm Jessica. Ask me about my cervix!
Monday, August 1, 2005
I went in to the doctor today to try to identify some pains I've been
having.... she wanted to see me when I described them.
Turns out it's round ligament pain, just normal stretching...
but then she sent me to the hospital for a heavy duty ultrasound... to
check out everything and to see if I may benefit from a cerclage.
I thought I was cool and collected the whole time but then I melted
down in traffic and cried all the way home. It was good, though.
Cathartic. (plus Richy was driving, so it was safe, too.)
I guess I'll find out tomorrow if she wants to do the cerclage. I am
emotionally ok now. We had a prayer meeting/service tonight and it was
More tomorrow on how often the word "cervix" can fit in an average
I'm 13 weeks today. I have 189 days to go to 40 weeks.... I wish time
would go faster. I have a lot of peace about this baby, but sometimes I
wonder how far I'll make it. And when will my heart kick in and realize
there's actually a BABY in here. There's this reserve in me.... holding
I'm looking forward to bedrest a little, because then I'll be actually
engaged in the battle... not just waiting to start fighting. Maybe that
sounds absurd. It's how I think, though.
When you pray for me, pray for peace. I always need that. And wisdom...
I like having this space to think on. I may post obsessively.