Monday, August 27, 2007

Smartypants ain't skeered

Anonymous said...
Dear Ms Smartypants,
I'm so tired. I don't sleep well at night. I take vitamins & exercise & pray. What advice can you give me?
Sleepless in Texas

Well, my best advice would be to be a man. They seem to get plenty of sleep. Since that is neither possible, nor Biblically condoned, I recommend a lavender bath and a nice clean diaper. That way, if you end up kicking your mother in the face all night long, at least you smell nice.

jennifer said...
Dear Ms. Smartypants,
I am thinking of developing some new recipes, what do you think of White Chocolate chili pepper bark?
Chipolte rasberry brownies? or Spicy Ice Cream? Maybe I can market to extreme dessert eaters?

This reporter is very disturbed by the suggestion of Spicy Ice Cream. It's a slippery slope to Meatloaf Ice cream. Stop, dear reader. Before someone has to stop you.

lisa said...
Dear Ms Smartypants,
Why is it that little boys think anything to do with underwear, pottys or the trash can are SO funny?

There is an intrinsic Stink Gene in small persons of the male persuasion. Stinkus genanius, in the Latin.

BethC said...
dear Mrs. SP
what is the grandest brand of ice cream?

Ms. Smartypants is so, so disturbed by the concept of Meatloaf Ice cream. she hesitates to ponder the confection further.

Anonymous said...
Dear Ms Smartypants.
I have a good one for you........
Who was the woman who enspired
Goerge Harrison to write
"Something in the way she moves"
Who was the woman who enspired Eric Clayptons "Layla" and "You look wonderful tonight."?
Was it the same WOMAN?

It is a little known and fascinating fact- these songs were, in fact, all about one woman. The elusive and lovely Ethelina Fretzelmonken, known later in life as Sister Mary. Ethelina was a mysterious figure throughout the 60's and 70's, inspiring countless songs, the ones mentioned above as well as many others. Not to be excluded: Horseflies Keep Hangin' Round Your Face- that classic and deeply haunting tune by the King of Song- Neil Diamond. Ethelina/Mary took the veil in the late 70's, leaving a trail of broken songwriters and dead horseflies. As legend has it, she lives today. Some credit her for inspiring the modern epic, "Bootylicious".


  1. You just crack me up! Ok so spicy ice cream might be taking it a little to far. I am actually just trying to help Will Richards it is his idea to have spicy sweets. I am just assisting in the technical areas of baking.

    I have seen them make meat ice cream on Iron Chef. One time this Japanese chef made ice cream out of fish roe (eggs) and then fried fish skins in the shape of ears and made a bunny out of it with little fish egg eyes. It was so discusting. People actually had to eat it.

  2. On to other news, my last day of work is the 5th. I will be mostly helping Matt, and you know hearding children to and fro. But I am pretty sure I am going to start doing some serious baking again. So if any one is iterested in ordering anything, just give me a shout. I can pretty much make almost anything, I am no expert cake decorator, but I can make almost anything look good. I do mostly pies, cheesecakes, cookies and specialty desserts. Pretty much if you can think of it I can probably make it or will figure out how.

  3. I am sorry that is suppose to be interested, I am not sure of the definition of iterested so I thought I better correct myself.

  4. Better if you mixed all 3 in 1!

  5. I saw an ice cream recipe for a Wasabi flavor & avacado flavor & bacon flavor. Mmmmmmm, good!

  6. Yeah it would be like a spicy ice cream california blt, slap it between two pieces of sweet bread and you are good to go.

  7. Mrs. Smartypants is a funny character.

    You people have some nasty ice cream desires.

  8. the wasabi ice cream was presented on the food network
    they had people on the street try it - 10 out of 10 people liked it
    go figure
    sooooo, we should not knock it if we have not tried it

  9. it's raining here

  10. wonders if ms smartypants has a counterpart
    mr notsobright
    mr fartybritches

    ok, ok sorry for that

  11. Those people on the street.... sheesh

  12. Hey Jess I sent you an email to your radiant revolution address.

  13. The people that tried it were probably paid off.... money has powers over weak people.... weak people like nasty ice cream.... money makes weak ice cream loving people lie on TV. It's that easy.

  14. I think in actuallity wasabi ice cream could be good. Wasabi is a very strong spice but has a destinct character that goes good with cream type textures. It is used alot with coconut milk. I bet it changes completely in ice cream, would mellow out and just give a strong flavor as in ginger maybe. Just a thought.


    so it begins...


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