Wednesday, February 27, 2008

on wounding, and robots

>>Link>> This is NOT good news.

In other news, my inner healing class was really good last night. I don't know how much traditional inner healing I need. I mean, I wasn't abused by anyone, and my parents were great. My wounds are all from my life imploding as an adult... people were dropping like flies for a while in my early 20's. So that's where I got most jacked up.

But anyhoo, last night was all about Father Wounding, which is, you know, how your dad wounded you and screwed up your life by being such a loser in your childhood. And a lot of people had bad dads, so I know that pain is valid. I just think I've been through the issues of my own heart enough that I'm pretty cautious about throwing stones. And that's kind of what this class is, throwing stones and hitting your pillow and letting it all out. Like I said, valid. But uh, a little elementary. Not that I've arrived. I've just had excellent training in my family and through MCF, and I like that kind of personal accountability better.

So anyways, last night I realized that my dad was a great dad. No real complaints. He was far from a perfect person, but a good dad. But still, there's this disconnect between me and God as a father. So that's where I was last night. Dealing with my disappointment with God, and releasing Him from that... (for my sake) and just trying to open myself up to love Him and trust Him again. And I wept copiously, although not as loudly as the small group next door who were hitting things (not really) and gasping and groaning and WHY-ing and so on. It's not funny, it's good they are getting healed.
But it is a little funny.


  1. my answers to everything:

    "live and learn"
    "sit back, relax and enjoy the ride"
    "get more sleep, drink more water"

    my sons know these quotes so well


  2. Wow! Sounds like a CTK great party! I am so glad you are there and getting through to the next beautiful phase of your life. i am so proud of you. And it was a great blessing to have you born into mine and Daddy's life.

  3. Your Mama is so sweet and loving....

    So is your MIL/SIL

    I love you baby........

  4. What is this firsty thing, beth?

    Are you needing a drink?

    Or did frist evolve into firsty when I wasn't there?

    shouldn't it be fristy?

    Or maybe this is just way to far out there on the evolution of semantics-G

  5. Beth has told me I need more water for almost 30 years now.-G

  6. When I first met her one of the first things she said to me was "yall drink too much cokes"-G

  7. Dad was genuine. What he was, was what he was.-G

  8. ha ha ha ha... so is it wrong that i BUSTED INTO LAUGHTER when i read your "small" but its a little funny at the end?

    ha ha one thing i learned from john and pat terry is we MUST laugh at things in our ministry or we will walk around weeping over everything! I'm so glad God has a sense of humor!

    father wounding mother wounding... so is it necessary to drudge it up and deal or can I be ok just suppressing it all and moving on? i mean it has worked so far.

    Ya know I have been thinking about YOUR dad alot recently. Honestly i think its from being around John, he just reminds me of him alot. "

    and your mom i love when she prays for randy, she always laughs and says... me and calvin KNEW we KNEW God had plans for U!

  9. Yes He did. I am so proud of you both. Mama


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