Monday, March 1, 2010

naps are for the weak... the lucky weak

I am typing this as I am supposed to be sleeping. I wish I was one of those people that could fall asleep at will, like some people I'm married to. Instead, I lie awake, deciding what is the most worrisome thing I can think of... Once I think of that one thing, then I can focus on it and freak myself out. I know, worry's a sin. So I try to pray and think happy thoughts, but ultimately, I think "Why the heck am I laying in bed? In the middle of the day? Thinking about who I might have inadvertently insulted when I made fun of Canada?" or whatever. So I quit trying to nap and get up. Waste. Of. Time.

Anyway, this post brought to you by delirium, since R2 has spent the last 4 nights crying instead of sleeping, poor little guy. I have spent the last 4 nights trying to count milliliters of highly potent drugs in the dark, whilst asleep, and then holding R2 down and making him drink them. Seriously. He probably thinks I hate him. Then, 10 minutes later, it kicks in and he falls asleep and I don't, for like an hour. Then it starts again. We're almost a week post-op here, and I really hope it starts getting better. Today we got new drugs, bigger drugs to try to stop the pain. May it work, Amen.

Toby has been really trying to help me in my sleep-deprived and punchy condition, by screaming. ALL DAY LONG. And also, falling down in a hysterical heap because Brynn SANG TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR WRONG. I think he's sick, think we're all a little sick... *delete paragraph mocking spouse*

In adoption news, I worked a lot on my self-study and interracial questionnaire this weekend... really, if I am to answer any deep questions, I need to sleep. Or fake it. Just kidding, social worker friends! We have raised over $1200, isn't that amazing? If you want to donate, the link is over there in the left sidebar, or you can leave your email address in a comment and I will send you our mailing address.
That's it for today, folks. Sayonara.


  1. Oh my goodness I can't imagine seeing poor richy that way!!! must be heart breaking!

    hang in there Jess!

  2. may it all get better VERY soon in Jesus mighty name!!!

  3. Okay, so I've had the same nap time issues. Laying there, not sleeping, weighing out the pro's and con's of getting up and "accomplishing" something vs. "wasting" a nap by not being able to fall asleep.
    So here are a few of my tricks, because I seriously NEED (read-- become a person no one wants to be around if I don't get) a daily nap for about the first 12 months+ after I have a baby:
    -when I lay down, I try to think about anything OTHER than how I'm trying to fall asleep. Thinking about it does not help.
    -focus on my breathing, in and out my nose, full breaths.
    -just bought an eye mask. I put it on, and if forces me to keep my eyes shut instead of glancing at the clock or out the window every few seconds.

    And lastly, I read something that really helped me realize that even if I don't sleep, I'm STILL giving my body a little recharge just by lying flat with my eyes closed. It still counts. :)
    For some reason that really helped me take the pressure off of myself to "get a good nap" and feel frustrated if I didn't actually sleep.

    Maybe this is helpful? :)

  4. agree with heather. it reallly does make a difference to just lay there as ridiculous as that may sound... it's still a re-charge for your body... i also need to incorporate these "naps" into my life... may we rest in peace... ha!


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