Sunday, May 27, 2007

Dear Ms. Smartypants (vol 2)

Do good things really come to those who wait?

This depends on what you’re waiting for. If, for example, you are in line for a lobotomy, the “goodness” of said lobotomy is debatable. Or perhaps one is waiting in line for the lavatory at a Flying J. Wait if you will, gentle reader…. it won't be good.

What did Jesus really mean when he said we must become as children to enter the kingdom?
Wondering Wafer

According to my research, Jesus Carlos Menendez was referring to the 48” height limit on “Señor Jose’s Kingdom ‘o’ Fun”, due to the low ceilings.

georgia said...
If Toby is at the back door and he is traveling at an amazing 3mph with a whole piece of toast with jelly on it, and R2 is coming down the stairs heading to the front door at 1 mph and wearing a sombrero and talking about his shoes, At what point will impact take place and what will exactly happen to the toast. What exactly will be the outcome?

The known element is that the toast will land, jelly side down, on the carpet. This would be the case, even if Toby were eating his toast outdoors. In the scenario you mention, Toby would surrender the toast, quickly make his way up the stairs, remove his brother’s sombrero, put it on his head, fall down the remaining stairs into the toast, further embedding it into the carpet, and then proceed to sit on the remnants with the jelly smeared sombero and wail as Richy continued to make his way down the stairs.

josharoo said...
I am curious of (or at least want to laugh at) Smartypants’ advice to the following:
 What is the best way to get ahead at work?

Informing him (or her) that you are just looking for laughs is probably not the best approach, my dear reader.

What is the best way to get a promotion?
Dr. Vinny “the Shark” Tortellini, (Doctor of Philosophy, Harvard University) suggested to me that a good approach involves networking, “It’s who you know.” He also recommended “physical encouragement”. I have not been able to confirm Mr. Tortellini’s credentials.

When your boss says you’ll get a 5% raise, how do you convince them you should get a 30% raise?
Dr. Tortellini again offered input, but of such a violent nature that this reporter is seriously questioning his credentials.
One option is to act like you’re hard of hearing, loudly. “30 percent, you say?” “No, no, FIVE percent.” “Thirty- FIVE percent! You are truly generous, Mr. Boeing! Now I can afford that kidney!” VOLUME is key here.

anonymous said...
Which is your favorite pick for the next President, Clinton or Obama?

My favorite pick is a lightweight Jim Dunlop with comfort grip. Makes strumming a breeze.
I’m not familiar with a guitar called “President”, but a guitar case with OBAMA inscribed would cause many potential difficulties in airports.

anonymous said...
What about John Edwards? He’s got nice hair.

Good input. You are correct, John Edwards has the appropriate Presidential hair.

anonymous said...
Should I keep working at Simplify?

Well, “anonymous”. The answer is, no. That is, no is the answer if you would like to live under a shopping cart by the freeway across from Splashtown.

If you mean, should you kick back and take it easy, i.e. “stop working” while employed at Simplify: this approach is not generally recommended. In fact, it is frowned upon.

bethc said...
so who wants to guess how many miles the US atlas indicates from Houston to Nashville...?

Not I, my tall reader. Not I.

In other news, the fast starts tomorrow night. So I'll be blogging during the day.


  1. It is so so tough to have Caleb and Jade and NO CAMERA! Ugh!

    They are so CUTE and they do so many cute things......

    So I have decided to chill and instead of observing and capturing each event....I have simply let go, and become a participant.

    We have been having so much fun.

    Reading bathing eating playing picking up messing up....changing clothes.....going to bed waking up.

    undocumented precious moments are not any less precious.....they are just undocumented.

    I see GOD in it.

    Enjoy this season of my life because we are in the last of the huge crop of babies.

    Soon they will all be way to cool to crawl up in Bedste's lap and snuggle.....

    God is so merciful and awesome and generouse.

    I want what God wants for my life!

    Fasting media and FOOD.......

    I have to remember how easy it is to obey.

    God always gives the grace necessary to be obediant. so it wont be hard. It will be difficult to change the habit, but He will give the grace for that too...So God never asks us to do anything that we cannot do.

    Even enjoying these precious moments.......with only my memeory to record awesome...

    God gently reminds me how impatient and in a hurry I always was when my babies where little, and how many mistakes I made raising them.

    Grandparenting is so much easier..

    But sitting by and watching young adults rushing through their lives dragging their little ones with them and refusing to listen to the older generation....

    who "know it all".....

    But somehow even in all of that..
    God keeps the babies and He allows things in their lives to make them and shape them.

    He uses it all........

    None of us are perfect.......

    I think that if I was to adopt a little baby girl.......that at this time in my life, I would come awful close to being the perfect parent..But I would be too tired to run after her....

    We are either full of energy or full of wisdom....But even in that....God is there.

  2. i will miss you all too! but, we will see each other on the other side...

    The LORD be with us...

  3. Now we'll just have to resort to talking face to face and....

    .....PHONE CALLS!!!!

    See ya around!


  4. Wow......everyone fasting media?

    Mama PC check your email :0)

  5. 264-1884 incase anyone needs me and chooses to use the old fashioned telephone....

    Did anyone notice Tobias and his unsharpened drumsticks at Church?

    MamaPC you are so awesome to book the cabins and the vans....I hope you get a lot of people willing to sponser.

    This is so kool.....

    I wonder how many grandkids Ruby and Buddy and James and Donna and Tammy can handle......

  6. so far, i've had a bunch of people SAY they're going with us... but, need the forms and moolola to ensure they REALLY are going....

    the kabins are filling up, though, so if you are seriously going to use one of the beds i've secured, please let me know NOW with evidence of a deposit...and i'll be able to keep that bed for YOU!

    jess, how's the noise level over there?

    in case anyone thinks there's a party at my house tonight.... THERE'S NOT!

    our driveway is totally a mud pit... a man brought a load of crushed concrete last week, and just as he was dozing it to spread it, a torrential rain came, and it has not stopped, has it? so, we're going to have to close THAT driveway and risk walking across the back of our house where the mud is also mushy...but at least that otther driveway over there is not risky...

    also, we have a leak by the front door, so sheet rock is now pulled out and bucket is below... but, while it's raining, it cannot be repaired...

    what spiritual lesson are we learning here???

  7. sivad?

    how you feeling? arm/shoulder better?

    thinking of you!


  8. time to fast and pray

    we were born for such a time as this...


Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

© 2012. Design by Main-Blogger - Blogger Template and Blogging Stuff