Friday, May 18, 2007

Ask me weekend 1

51 comments:
 
You know what bugs me? The misuse of the word "literally". People just throw it around. " I literally ate until my stomach exploded." and so forth. No, that would be figuratively or something. Literal is, well, literal.

But enough with the complaining, right? I'm getting on my own nerves. So here's what I'm thinking. I should start an advice column. I know! It's so obvious! Shoulda done it ages ago.

Not real advice, mind you.

Here's how it should go. On Fridays, you submit your interesting and/or funny questions. Etiquette, advice (cooking,pop culture, parenting, you name it) questions and so on. Monday's blog will have the answers.

That's right. In a span of three days, I should literally be able to make up an answer that amuses me.

So get busy! This will not be interesting unless you submit questions. Only lame. C'mon, do it for the children.

51 comments:

  1. When is it appropriate to wear pantyhose?

    If God is I AM does that make the devil I AM NOT?

    How much makeup is too much makeup/

    Explain the difference in living in Palestine, Israel and Palestine Texas.

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  2. OH, I forgot this one.

    Why does Eminem dance in ways we would scold our children from doing in public?

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  3. How many times in one day can Toby climb into places he is not supposed to be?

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  4. Ok, I would have more, but it is someone elses turn.

    Josh....

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  5. Anonimis- if you submit a question, please leave some kinda "handle" for your response. I.E. Odorous in Oregon

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  6. HELLO! hey look im online! feels good! still no computer, but i just found out we have computer access in the office at my apartments! So HI ALL!

    oh and jess...

    So is like kissing befor you married like sin? LOL

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  7. Jess, i love that picture! so pretty!

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  8. dear jess,

    why is it that my froggy makes me smile?

    I.T.

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  9. How popular worldwide is eating frog legs?

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  10. i had 2 really good questions, and i really tried hard on them, and then google did something crazy, and they're GONE!

    SHOULD I SUE?

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  11. This one will be interesting to all- How many empire state buildings could fit on their sides in Boeing's Everett, WA airplane plant (the largest building in the world by volume)?

    The answer is pretty cool.

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  12. Why did I have to start plucking ear hairs in my mid-20’s? I thought this was reserved for 70 year old men who have gotten over vanity and don’t care about the 4 inch hair growing off their ear anymore.

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  13. Why do clams do frivolous law suits?

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  14. why do the folks in australia eat joshburgers? & what do they taste like?

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  15. Why do Anons never give a name or handle, even after being told to?

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  16. I'll go ahead and answer the joshburger question.

    It's because Australians love sweet things.

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  17. when have anons been asked to reveal themselves?

    Call me iced tea or I.T. for short.

    How's that?
    Satisfied now?
    You want my dl# too?

    if you don't want anons in here then do away with it

    have i offended anyone?

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  18. how many times in one hour can Toby get into mischief

    I.T.

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  19. why is Job spelled like job?

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  20. a most excellent question beth!
    right up there with the pantyhose one!

    I.T.

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  21. i have a purely innocent question for Crystal - why does your site have a poll question re: gays? just curious
    no judgement here
    purely a question
    please don't be offended

    I.T.

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  22. i was gonna ask the panty hose ?, but it was already taken

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  23. how many children did the old woman who lived in the shoe have?
    was it an old shoe or a new shoe?

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  24. How many pecks of pickled peppers did Peter Piper EAT?

    I don't care how many he picked..
    how many did he EAT?

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  25. Is it okay to not sweep up the floor under a highchair after every food-flying fun session??
    Well, I'll answer this one..
    Yes!
    Life's too busy to be holding a broom so much..

    I might get titled the broom lady.

    Although some around here call me a mop lady!

    Only because I've been going to MOPS group, which has been so helpful for time talking with other ladies/moms.. & getting great direction on love & helpful tips. Today was my last day for the year. I am planning to go to some of the summer play dates though!

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  26. Is it okay to be totally in awe of your child when they keep clapping over & over at MOPS while the leaders are giving away gifts (Oprah favorite's style) while everyone is repeatedly clapping.

    Keith: clap clap clap grin clap clap
    Shannon: adoring smile while looking down at cute boy on her lap.. thinks 'you're the reason I'm here.. wow, I have a son.. he's reclining content on MY lap, clapping! he's so adorable & sweet."

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  27. Do many moms occasionally bop their child's head on the inside of the car roof while pulling the child from the car seat??

    Ya
    I do
    oops, sorry again, Keith.

    Today when I did it, I said sweetly/jokingly, "How many times have I done that to you?" then "Ohh, you're not keeping count." & thought of children's heart of easily forgiving, not keeping a record of wrongs.. wow, I need to do that.. God's reminding me. I automatically thought, oh it's a natural thing to want to keep count.. yet oh.. we shouldn't be. I've been keeping a record sometimes.. eww, don't want that anymore, so unpleasant & unpeaceful. I'd rather be loving. Wow, I'll need God on this one.

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  28. Should I update my pic of a more recent one of Keith?

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  29. What was the temperature here in the NW this last Monday the 14th??
    mmmm, mmmmm, it was nice around here. quite lovely!!

    hee hee, giving her some research to do.

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  30. a serious one:

    Why do you think that God required blood/death to pay the remission of sins?

    first with animals
    then our Saviour, once for all

    this has been something I've wondered. something we'll never understand? just because sin is serious? why not just give grace?

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  31. My dear Iced Tea and other anonymis:
    No need to really identify yourself. But a signature of some type on the q&a sessions will make it easier to direct an answer. I.E.

    Sincerely, Shoeless on the Freeway

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  32. i think jess now has alot to do on the weekends with answering these questions
    one would think that babies r enuf
    but not jess
    super mom
    super wife
    super advisor
    super tired!

    I.T.

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  33. Iced Tea?

    Are you someone we all know? or that knows us from church?

    Can we all have 3 questions that you will answer so that we might ascertain who you bee?

    Ok - your turn...

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  34. Yo I.T- Anons are cool, I was just giving you a hard time.

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  35. QUESTION:

    If you're (pretend it's me) walking on a road in the mountainous woods...let's say...Colorado Rockies, and two bears are coming toward you from your left at an increased rate of speed. On your right is a potentially frightened skunk. Directly in front of you is a rattle snake, and behind you is a cliff with unknown bottom. What advice would you give me for that moment? ...Cuz you never know when that might happen.

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  36. i would like to answer angie's question -- and i would like to still hear jess' answer.

    i say you have to options:

    #1: drop to your knees exactly where you are and pray.

    #2: pray while you run northeast--between the snake and the skunk but away from the bears; perhaps the skunk and the snake will assault the bears with their respective weapons, and you'll be home free. and if not, #1 might still be a possibility.

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  37. wow!
    is everybody still asleep?
    i don't really get to sleep on saturdays, of all days., but i've heard that other people do.
    is that true?

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  38. I slept 8+ hours last night. GLORIOUS.

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  39. wow! that's awesome!

    and also, it's a good thing, 'cause um....i think you have a lot of advice to fabricate today..... =)

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  40. Home School graduation is spectaculor! Judah did it!
    this Friday is CHS at SamHSU

    2 weddings this Saturday

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  41. Home School graduation is spectaculor! Judah did it!
    this Friday is CHS at SamHSU

    2 weddings this Saturday

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  42. Cool, 8 hours!

    2 weddings? Who else?

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  43. Dear Jessica,
    My little brother took my pet cricket and feed it to his pet iguana. Now I want to take his pet iguana and feed it to my pet boa constrictor. If I do this, he may take my pet boa and feed it to his pet 12 foot alligator. Should I feed his pet iguana to my pet boa?

    Sincerely,

    Reptile in the Republic

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  44. the sceond schlooter girl is to be wed immediately post the wild people's wedding... said wild ones wed at 2 p.m. and heather at 3:30, i thinkst... hope the locations are close together... or we'll all be traipsing into heather's in a big hurry with our hair on fire...

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  45. Let's say that one's parents raised their child telling them that they ("one") were raised by the monkeys. Then, as an adult, one starts growing hair on one's knuckles. Should one believe that their parents were, in fact, telling the truth all those years, and not just trying to make their sweet child cry and feel adopted?

    And, if so, should one then return to the monkey home they ("one") were apparently raised in? ...Even though there was no memory of said monkey raising.

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  46. If a twister by twisting, could twist a twist with three twists of his twister, he twist the twist. And if in twisting the twist, he untwist one twist; did the twist that untwisted untwist the whole twist??

    ~Ruminating in Romania

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  47. if a doctor was doctoring a doctor, would the doctor doing the doctoring doctor the doctor being doctored the way the doctor being doctored wanted to be doctored?


    or

    would the doctor doing the doctoring doctor the doctor being doctored the way the doctor doing the doctoring usually doctored doctors?

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  48. Hey Jess.................


    What if .......you only had ONE VCR tape and it was old and decreped and hung up..........and was full of snow....and American Idol was on.......and all the tapes where still at your daughter in laws house....except that one.

    Would you use the yukky one, or drive through hail and sleet and go and fetch the others or.....go to Target and purchase more tapes....or just forget it?

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  49. Procrastination is a habit you develop to cope with anxiety about starting or completing a task. It is your attempted solution to cope with tasks that are boring or overwhelming.

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Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

 
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