good night...
i will blog when i awake.

so, as soon as I typed that and laid down, Richy's movie crashed and Toby had a blowout diaper of Biblical proportions. One DVD cleaning and restart, diaper change, scrubdown, outfit change, and crib bedding change later... oh, and another bottle.... I went back to bed and slept for 2 hours. During that time I did not answer the phone, as I WAS SLEEPING. Since I am normally so good about answering, (maniacal laughter) Richy and my mom decided I must be lying in a pool of blood somewhere and so on.
Sheesh.
After I WOKE UP, I called them and reassured them I was only "mostly dead" and then met Richy and had some McDonalds with the fam.

Brynn gained 3 oz last night! So she is now 4 lbs 9 oz... AWESOME. She had 3 bradys last night, which were not a big deal, and it seems like her new meds are working. And she is looking so, so cute. She's just a baby doll. I went up there at 11 pm, 5 am, and 8 am for feedings, and then I won't be able to go back up until 8 tonight. I wonder what her little brain goes through...

We are getting close to getting out. Every doctor has slightly different things they're looking for, so I'm hoping to hit up my favorite one on Monday and start working on our escape.

Two steps forward, one step back... yesterday they put Brynn on reflux meds, which seems to really be helping with her a's and b's. BUT, she lost an ounce and a half. Currently, I am pumping first and giving her the fattier milk. So I'm not sure what else they'll have me do. But they are pretty supportive of nursing at the hospital, so that's in our favor.

So I don't know anything... as far as going home and whatnot. I'm so tired, I know I'm not thinking straight. And Toby is coming for the laptop wielding a spoon as a weapon, so I better shut it down.

time for a nap.... I did the 11 pm feeding and then the 5 and the 8. Each feeding takes about an hour. Cwazy.

So now Toby is down with a bottle and I am fading...

AH! and she gained weight! She is now 4 lbs 8 oz... and we are one step closer to breaking out.

more thinking later, sleep now.

Coming soon to a blog near you: A POST!

just hold your horses...

Okay, SO... we got increased yesterday to feeding up to 6 times a day!! I was surprised... once again, things moved faster than I expected. So I had enough hours yesterday to do 5 feedings, today I will do 6. The trouble is, it is so much WORK to eat that she lost a little weight. So they suggested maybe supplementing with a bottle today.... because they add this fortifier with extra calories. BUT bottles are the devil to me, especially just getting breastfeeding going. It's easy for babies to drink a bottle, and then sometimes they don't want to nurse because it's too much work. So pray that she gains a little (or a lot) tonight so we don't have to go there.

Ah, and threatening the camera cable worked. It showed up magically this morning in a place I have searched 5,416 times.

Now, THIS is walking

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Hold your horses is a great saying, no? I love it. Along with horse-whipped, hog-tied, etc. Ah, Texas. I BREATHE you in.

Dadgum camera cable... still lost. The most effective way to find it is to buy a new one... however, discretionary spending has been halted, per the CFO at the Clarks. Luckily I bought a few more pink things just before the hammer fell.

I'm at the hospital now but no update yet. She looks great. She is really getting the little Clark scowl going when things do not meet her approval. Like now, because it's 10:30 and she's supposed to eat at 11. But she is thinking maybe now would be a good time.

So, 3 feedings a day have been going well. Maybe we'll go up to 4 today or tomorrow. Still, we're probably looking at another 2 weeks here. Just to get all the kinks ironed out.

Speaking of the Kinks... American Idol last week. What a terrible, terrible thing Sanjaya did to that song. He is DEAD to me.

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"” - Winnie the Pooh

reporting from the NICU... 4 lbs 6 oz! I think that's how big Toby was when we brought him home. He's about 90 pounds now. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But, man... he is solid.
I came up here at 5 this morning... I like mornings much better than nights. Then I came back home at 6 and slept till 8:30. Good stuff. If R2 would have been his usual sleepy self, it would have been later. But, noooooooo. He is in the hallway clapping at 8:30. So I'm awake, and more importantly, Toby is awake. The end.
So now I am up here for Brynn's 11:00 feeding... but her other feed started late so I am waiting a little.

She is still having quite a few a's & b's. (sigh) Well, she would only be 35 weeks today. Maybe I should cut her a break... she shouldn't even be born yet.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EVA!!

marnin
I have such a great video of Toby walking... but where is the camera cord? GOOD question. Heck if I know.

Well, they have upped Brynn to 3 feedings a day, which was quicker than I expected and very exciting. It's a little difficult to work, though, because she will do better if I don't do back-to-back feedings... eating is hard work and she needs her rest! So she eats at 8 11 2 and 5... So today, I am trying to do 11 5 and then 11 tonight... the tricky part is the 5 .... I think I'm taking Toby to VKG at work for an hour or so, and keeping R2 with me. Tomorrow, I may do all night feedings... Saturday it gets easier because Daddy is home and I can go up to the hospital whenever...
It makes my brain tired. ANYWAY. Yesterday, I did consecutive feedings at 2 and 5... and she lost 11 grams. Humph. Just burned too many calories, I guess. I expect her to gain today when I space it out, hopefu8juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu8uuuu. (fixed the u key! hooray!) hopefully.

Not very interesting stuff, unless you're me, or just particularly voyeuristic.

In other news, there is no news. Al Gore. Britney. Iran. blah blah blah.

Oh, my bloggerati... where have you gone?
Actually, according to my super secret spy powers, I know that you are still here... reading. But you post not.

Need some more action? More controversy? Last time you got bored, I got pregnant. Maybe I'll think of something else this time. How bout some blogger updates? What's happening in your worlds? Mine is pretty boring but, hear me GOD, that is a good thing! No excitement needed here.

You know that feeling when you're asleep but you know the alarm clock is fixing to ring? I think that's where I am. Spiritually, emotionally... I am stirring. And I know I am going to have to wake up very soon.

Brynn... 4 pounds 4 ounces... eating twice a day... still too many apnea/bradycardia episodes (too long to type, from this moment on to be be known as a's and b's)... probably related to reflux.

Also, Richy is doing his blog again, if you're into that sort of thing... the link is over there --------------->

So there's a little overview... it was very fun and my hostesses were adorable...

Yesterday I got to feed Brynn twice. If she tolerated it well... meaning she digested it and gained weight, I should be able to do so again today...
I am not sure when she's coming home... nobody is saying anything right now... she is still having too many bradycardias. (sigh) But it could be in two weeks... we'd just need her to grow out of this quickly.
Yesterday she was 4 lbs 1 oz. What a fatty.

What a great weekend! I'm sure you'd like to know all about it... but I forgot the power cable at home and the laptop, she are dying.

so I may go get the cord after lunch, but here's the synopsis
• 4 pounds!!
• the shower was a blast
• jonny lang rocked the house
• b is off the cannula again!

more later....

I'm keeping this at the top, current daily blogs will be below...



Forward this to all interested!



You are invited!
To my baby shower!
When: March 17th, noon to 3
Where: My house
RSVP, directions or more info: Leah or Jenn Reichert

It will be an "open house" style shower- people can drop in anytime between noon and 3...

I am registered at Target and Babies R Us, (I am still adding some to this one)

I don't have comments enabled on this one as my "real" post is the one below this.

Not even a whole ounce short of 4 pounds... amazing. Brynn nursed great again yesterday... she's still on the cannula. I guess they just want to take it slow...oh! but BIG news! She has been moved out of her isolette into an open crib! They were wanting to wait longer, because normally babies have to be bigger to maintain their own temperature without help. But she was so hot in that incubator... so they had to move her... ha! Overachiever.

Currently Toby is acting like he really wants to cuddle with me. But actually, he is just trying to get to the laptop. Stinker.

And in case you haven't heard, I have a BABY SHOWER TOMORROW. And YOU are invited.

Brynn is 3.13 today. We are a day or two away from 4 POUNDS! WAHOOO!
The breastfeeding session went great. She ate for 23 minutes and then she just laid there groaning... seriously. It was so Post-Thanksgiving regret... I was laughing and laughing at her.
So today maybe they can cut back on the O2 flow and start to get her back off that cannula. Right now, it's just blowing regular room air at a certain pressure... the doctors compared it to having a fan blowing in your face. Just keeps her remembering to breathe.
She had a much better day yesterday. Your prayers are working- keep 'em coming!

It's a season of struggle, isn't it? I am something of a casualty of war... I just quit. Almost 3 years ago. And yet, there is a vein in me, an internal struggle to keep going, to pursue God. To believe for more. And I can't kill that. I've tried. But you know what? I believe in supernatural healing. I believe that we can see cross-generational transformation, reformation in the American church. I don't pray, much. I don't read the Bible. I am seeing signs of spiritual rigor mortis. And yet... there's blood flowing somewhere. Pray for me, too, friends. I may just wake up.
But body-wide, there's a struggle. And some are falling. We need to pray for each other, to bear each other up... to speak up. (preaching to myself)
All that to say: don't give up. We're all fighting this battle.

Beach pictures!!

We have had a good turnaround today! Thank you for praying... please keep it up!
As of this morning, Brynn was 3 pounds 12 ounces! She has had very few apnea/bradycardia episodes and her oxygen saturation is back where it should be... praise God.
I should be able to nurse her again tonight... I have taken the appropriate amount of drugs.

vkg will be here momentarily to take posession of these chilluns, and then I will be off to my second home.

working from the mega-slow laptop on the mega-slow dial up... I am like a PC today. So I won't be uploading pics.

Brynn is up to 3 lbs 10 oz today! She's still on oxygen, but this is probably the last day. She really responded well to the blood she was given.
She is still having some episodes of bradycardia, where her heart rate really drops. Pray that she stops that. It makes me nervous, and it will make us have to stay longer.

So we hit the beach... or mostly, the hotel and restaurants. Daddy and R2 went to the beach several times. Toby and I mostly chilled. It was fun, it was relaxing... exactly what we needed.

Brynn did not like being left... she had a little setback. Basically, she has anemia. But for a baby that small... it messes things up. So she is temporarily back on the nasal cannula, and in the little baby nursery. She had to have some blood given, and she seems to be doing much better. She was never really sick, but it was sad and hard to be far away and hear a negative report. So please, pray for Brynn to get back to perfect health, and for my heart. Fear is the enemy.

I'll post beach pics tomorrow.

I still can't nurse her... I have to get a third prescription. So we're at kind of a bummer standstill. But I am so glad to be home with my baby near again, it's all ok.

Listen: I am really nervous that no one will come to the shower. So please tell people... we are basically just going by word of mouth for the invites, and it is THIS SATURDAY.

We, being spontaneous and fun loving, are taking off to the beach.
It was much less spontaneous than say, 1998. In which, we would just say randomly, lets go- and get in our 1984 Corolla and take off, with no plan.
Less spontaneous than 2000, when we would throw R2 in the backseat and buzz away.
Now, we make reservations. We pack clothes ahead of time. We request hours off work (well, some of us). We pack playpens and strollers and toys and bottles. I google for coupons. I think we're parents.

So, somewhat spontaneously, we are off to Galveston. In our minivan packed with kid gear. By next week, I'll probably be nursing Brynn three times a day, and getting away is less likely, so this is a good time.

Ugh. I am dreading leaving her for 2 days but I know we need this. Expect some good beach pictures of the boys.

BABY SHOWER INVITATION 2 POSTS DOWN. SPREAD THE WORD.

Bleh. So I have thrush. Which is a minor kinda infection, but infectious... so I can't breastfeed until it's over. Which, might be 24 hours after I take the mighty drug Diflucan today. But a bummer, nonetheless.
On the bright side, I thought I wouldn't be able to see Brynn today until R1 got home from work. But Georgia "Boston Cream Pie" has saved the day. So I will be going to WalMart for the drugs... then off to see my baby.

I will be home this afternoon, if anyone feels like blogging. Slackers.

If you haven't seen the baby shower invite, check it. You are invited. Unless you are a psycho. Unless you are a psycho who is related, in which case you are still invited.

these guys need haircuts













For the Divas-

So, here's the current hair, although it was "fixed" here and is quite a bit flatter today. I like it.... I'm not CRAZY about it, but I am so glad to get rid of the long hair. Toby was a little suspicious, but he warmed up. Next, some drastic hair color... of some kind.

I called to check on Brynn, but her nurse had stepped out, and the other nurse had the nerve to call her "him". Humph. She must not have noticed her hairbow, variety of pink shirts, pink blankets, and large pink stuffed animals. The nerve.

Coming up: a baby shower invitation. This shower is open to the public, so much so that it is stressing me out to try to make a guest list. So consider yourself invited, and spread the word to any who would be interested.
Here's the quote for the insecure or "paranoid of party crashing"...
" Dear (your name). Yes, you are invited to my shower. PLEASE come. I am too lazy to make a massive guest list, but you are not, intentionally, or unintentionally, excluded. YOU, yes YOU are invited! I'll see you there!"


Sonia, Joshes and Yvonne- even you are invited. Come from all the corners of the earth! =)

There is (are?) a variety of small smelly people sitting as close as possible to me to remind me that a) they are awake now and b)they are hungry. So I'm out.

Well. We graduated to the new room in the NICU... growers and feeders... nobody really is on meds or needs much help in there.
Which is awesome, but a MUCH smaller room and no internet access. Still, I hope it means we'll be going home soon. 3-4 weeks, I'm thinking.
Brynn was 2 lbs 15 oz yesterday. We should break the 3 pound barrier today!

Ah, and I got my hairs cut. I'll put a picture up soon. But for now, adieu.

This one's a size gauge.... see Richy's hand? and she is holding his wedding ring.

Well.. we had a good weekend. Brynn, as of yesterday, was up to 2 lbs 14 oz... I expect she has gained more by now. 3 pounds, here we come!!
I have been able to nurse her twice.... she's a pro, of course. Except for the whole breathing thing. She considers that somewhat optional. She now has several designer outfits from Grandma's boutique... all the nurses say she is the best dressed baby they've ever had.
So here we go, the "eating and growing" stage before we can make our break. It's not a weight limit they are looking for... they want her to be able to take all her feedings by mouth (currently she takes 1 of 8), be able to maintain her own temperature in a crib (she's still in an incubator), and be holding and gaining weight. So we're planning on less than a month, and I am trying not to get my hopes up for sooner, since she's such a fast learner.
So this week I will be there most of the day today and tomorrow, part of the day Weds... and Thursday and Friday depend on the kindness and legality of sisters.

In other news, R2 has learned to dress himself. We're so proud.

Well, since I was up all night puking, I took the opportunity to catch up on some news. How bout this story? "Barbie bandits" caught
2 teenage girls rob a bank wearing sunglasses as a disguise. Brilliant, eh? My dad and I used to discuss how crimes should be commited.... he called us criminal minds... although we never actually commited any crime...(well, traffic tickets and potential tax evasion on his part, maybe... I never commited a crime) Anyhoo. We just agreed there were smart ways and stupid ways. If I were going to rob a bank, I'd plan on not getting caught. Not that I ever plan on robbing one. I'm just sayin.

Ah yes, Brynn. What a great baby. We finally went up there last night, after an agonizing 24 hour separation. Our "practice" nursing went great! The nurse was joking that Brynn doesn't know she's a preemie. Then, after I nursed her (kinda) and held her for a little while, I started feeling symptoms of "the pukes" as it is medically called. It's gone around all the small humans here, but I thought I dodged it. Not so. Thus, I am not going up there again today unless I feel normal by tonight.

I haven't gotten a weight update yet today. Toby is having a little nap after once again waking at 7, and so I am not talking on the phone till that is over. R2 is watching his new DVD... we bought Toy Story. We have TS II on VHS, but this is SO much cooler.

I might go grocery shopping today. Can you believe... I think the last time I bought groceries myself was September? Maybe October.

So, today I will be staying home with my boys until Daddy gets off work. The mommy guilt has not hit with a vengeance yet.

Brynn update: up a tiny bit on weight, they increased her feedings to 26 ccs... I get to try non-nutritive nursing today, meaning she gets to practice but they don't expect her to get anything yet.

I woke up and slipped downstairs for a few moments of alone time... I passed both boys sleeping soundly. Within ONE minute of coming down here, they are both awake. That makes it breakfast time. Later.

The first Grandma shirt... the hit of the NICU