Friday, April 18, 2008

department of mostly victims

The MOG graduated from his class today. While they were having their celebratory potluck, I was at the DMV.
The amount of violent hatred that I hold for the DMV is .... well, violent. WHY does it have to take so long? WHY does it have to be so frustrating? And WHY for the sake of all that is holy is it so complicated??? I can feel my blood pressure rising. Or something.

So anyways. This morning we set off for the DMV at the break of day, 9 am. I got there the first time and realized pre-child removal that I was missing a document. So I drive back home. I then go back and remove children 1,2 and 3. Assign to stroller locations, front seat, back in infant carrier seat, and holding on to the handle and jumping position. Go in, grab desperately for a number... 04. 94 being served. Retreat into hallway with massive stroller and barely-pantsed R2. Sit down, wait. Repeat for infinity. Oh, hey the potluck just started! Early! Who'da thunk? Continue waiting.

Toby: wants out, in, up, down. Eat raisins. Read a book. Sing on toy microphone. Turn mike into guitar, do some wailing solos which include falling on knees and screaming. Eat gummy bears. Color on grocery list. Climb on stroller, poke baby in head. Discuss. Climb on bench, stare in fire extinguisher window. Play guitar some more, pretend to fall down. Fake cry. Talk to creepy people. Discuss.
R2: Stare at people and breathe loud. Eat gummy bears. Make "eat" sign every 36 seconds. Repeat.
Bean: Eat seat belt. Get poked in head. Squeal. Switch from Ah-da to ma ma ma ma. Mildly protest being in car seat. Repeat.
FOR ONE HOUR. Oh my holy freaking government bureaucracy. Finally get called. Go to desk, driving over rows of people with massive stroller. Sit down for 1.5 seconds, to be informed that my name is not on the lien and I cannot do the paperwork to get a license plate.
Arrive at potluck when it is over. The end.

In other news, I need to pack for 4 weeks. How does one do this? It seems like I would need all my stuff.


  1. what else can dmv stand for:
    "department of minimum values"
    "damsels made violent"

  2. department of minimum virtues

  3. Remember you have a washing machine so just pack for 7 days.

    That will work.....what will you actually need in 7 days....and use that over and over and over.

    A wise woman once told me that

    "We live in AMERICA"

    so even if you forget something will be ok...

    I laughed and laughed when I read your post..........O jess.......

  4. I will have a washing machine... on a schedule, across the street. I'm packing a LOT.

  5. this is such an adventure for your huge family......

    You will have a lot to write about.

  6. i thought i had written in here last night....but just found it on Thurs' post...

    o bother....

    how's everyone???

    jess, will you be taking a trailer to move to Nashville? or just loading up the van...

    will your house just be there waiting for you to come back?

    i'm trying to get the picture...

  7. We will be loading the van Beverly Hillbillies style. We're keeping the house, we have some guys housesitting for us.

  8. You said Thursday that Toby is 20% for height. What is his actual measurement? Keith's 2 year birthday was this past Monday. His 2 year appt is this Wednesday, but we measured him at 38 inches. I'm thinking Keith will be 80%+.

  9. NO WAY! I just used this growth chart calculator and it says 38 inches for a 2 year old male puts Keith at 97%. He’s taller than 97% of two year old males!! Wowsers!!

  10. I think Toby was 27 inches... Keith is a giant!

  11. the talent continues to oooze out of RGers and friends. great time tonite @ ctk.
    original songs, dances and skits and comedy too

  12. Did anyone get any of it on video?
    It started at 6pm......when was it over.........

  13. and we're off! Nashville here we come!!

  14. What.......You are actually traveling instead of attending Church!

    I never............

  15. You will have a very nice and safe adventure and have lots of stories

    God is with you....

  16. i think keith is going to outgrow his aunt meredith in about a year and a half. geesh!


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