My plan was to stay in today. There was an obscene amount of dirty dishes and meal-debris on the floor... and general house-ly chaos. We made it to 12:30 before anarchy broke out. They just can't be cooped up... they start trying to destroy each other. You might think I mean Toby... I do.

But not just Toby. The other day, I found a round mark on Toby's arm... I was tripping about it maybe being a ringworm, which we've never had, but it is one of those things you figure you'll get eventually. So I was kinda watching it and it went away in a day. The next day there were TWO of these marks... on closer inspection, they were tiny toothmarks. From someone with 6 tiny teeth. The good news is, she's starting to defend herself from the continual sibling abuse.

Anyways... we ended up going to lunch with Daddy, and then we dropped him back off at the school and we went to the park. Fun was had by all, even though R2 fell headfirst off the steps and Toby hit himself in the head with a ball. Tough guys...

So tomorrow, I'm planning on SWIMMING at the Y. I can't remember the last time I swam. The problem is, the pool is all divided up for lap-swimming... and I'm not that great at swimming. Still, it sounds refreshing. They keep the pool at 83 degrees. Nice.

Last night, I was attending a worship service during American Idol. But I taped it, and tonight a new pal from the TS staff is coming over to watch the tape with me, and then the results show. And we shall feast on brownies!

Anytime you'd like to peek in on the school here, you can check out the webstream. To watch the archives (Richy leading worship and speaking... go here)

I am not aging gracefully. What?! half of you are saying... what aging? you're a CHILD! Uh, no. I will be 30 in October and I am starting to pick up some warnings that I am getting older. And I'm just not doing well with it.
I always wondered about women in their 40's and 50's... if it bothered them to not be 20. If they wanted to still be a size 4 and not have to fight gray hair and gravity. But they all seemed pretty content and beautiful in their age and so I figured it was a gradual process and it would be okay.
So why now, at the beginning of wrinkles and changing shape... am I freaking out a little? I've never been one to obsess over looks. Sometimes I'll be out for hours before I realize I never looked in a mirror today and my hair is channeling Einstein. But now... I don't like it. I want to be easy cute. Not work-cute.
It's not so much that I care about a few extra pounds. It's just the overall realization that it will take work in the next couple of decades to maintain what has been effortless.
< /Narcissism>

We went to the Y in downtown Nashville today. I ran on the treadmill and the youngsters did great in the nursery. I had the following conversation with my sister personal trainer via text.
me: if i want to lose tummy and tone arms what machines do i use at the y?
Leah: walking, crunches, bicep curl, tricep extension, and less Bluebell.

Nervy, that's what.

Today, I took on Nashville and went to get the boys haircuts. First, I made a plan using Google Maps... then off we went. And for once, I got there. Exactly where I was going without driving the wrong direction, or finding the place I mapped to closed down in 1998. Well, there was ONE U-turn. But basically, I rocked the map. We went to a Great Clips. Which is, for you Texans, kinda Supercuts. But the one we went to in KC was super friendly and did a good job... they got it when I said "My kids are rockstars... they can't have geeky hair." Here, not so much.

I refer to that scourge of motherhood... the hostile stylist. She looks skeptically at the picture I have chosen. Yeah, lady. I don't want a buzz cut or a bowl cut with straight bangs. I want my sons to look like PEOPLE. She accepts, and then once Toby is in the chair with the FISH FISH FISH cape on, she asks... "Now, what did you want?"... and I show the picture again. She scoffs... "That haircut is longer than what he has now!"

I spit me of rude customer service. But we forged on. He ended up getting a semi-geeky normal cut. Hopefully, with a little gel and a side part he will be back to rocker. R2 got spikes. By this point I was so intimidated by the woman controlling my son's hair, I just backed down. Sheesh. We might be going back tomorrow to get some corrections done. Or not. Sheesh. Sheesh sheesh sheesh.

One thing I didn't realize I missed... community. When we lived out at Radiantville, we saw each other every day, sometimes multiple times a day. 

Here in this complex with the rest of the Thunder School staff, I'm getting some of that again. And I forgot how much I like it. 

Yesterday was their weekly "Meal of Hope". 100+ homeless people came to get a meal and hear the gospel... most of them walked. I didn't have any official function, besides watching my kids. It was pretty amazing. Did you know homeless people look just like us?

I sit here in a sleepy haze. Up too late, up too early. Just took a nap. Nothing to say. Ho-hum.

You may or may not have noticed I didn't blog yesterday. I wish there was more outrage, but hey... whatever.
So Monday and Tuesday Richy went to the GMA. He saw a lot of Christian musicians, or artists... he had a good time, but we're not really into the Christian music "industry". Not going to really elaborate on that, since I didn't go and he has his own blog.

Yesterday I went through my new city routine, in which I choose a random direction on the freeway and go for it. Why is it, if I choose what logically was the direction (east) we drove last time to get to Walmart, it is DEFINITELY going to be the wrong way? So off I went 10 miles wrong, 10 miles back and eventually arrived at my destination...
I hit Salvation Army and Goodwill with a vengeance. Anyways.

So we're supposed to be providing some sort of leadership/pastoring to the students at the school here. The students arrive Sunday, so far we've just met the interns. Yesterday I had a conversation with one of the interns.
"Which one of you guys is all into healing?"
me: point at R1.
him "He said you were..."
me "I.... was. I am. I just...."
him "Because I have such a heart for that, I just really want to do it. And I don't know anybody else who is interested in healing."
me "Uh, well. I was seeing a lot of healings, before... did you know about our babies?"
him "Yeah, that's understandable."
me "Not that I don't believe God can do it. I'm just a little burnt on asking..."
him "You need the fire.. I have the fire, but I don't know anything about it."
me "Yeah."
and so I went upstairs with my groceries, bothered by being the leader with the lack of faith. I feel like the old drunken boxer, and the upstart kid wants to be trained by him. "Get outta here, kid! I got nothin left!"
It's not a great feeling, but it might be motivation.

We are safely (well, relatively safely) ensconced in our apartment in Nashville... we arrived last night - took us 9 or 10 hours, and that was even stopping a couple of times to eat and play on the McDonald's playlands... the speed limit may or may not have been exceeded.

We have a cute little apartment here in a dangerous looking neighborhood. I don't think it is. It just looks a little dicey. This little complex is owned by the ministry we're working with. It's furnished in late 80's-early 90's American. With a new stove... nice. The apartment has wood floors and it's definitely old. Toby can roll a truck and it rolls down to the corner. But most of it has been remodeled and it's good. Richy is gone, left this morning to go work a booth at the Gospel Music Awards. HA! We're working with the Thunder School.

So today I am getting settled in the apartment here and determining what we need to move in... looks like they will be providing all of our food from their food pantry... I'm supposed to go down there later and "shop". That's your update for today, folks.

The MOG graduated from his class today. While they were having their celebratory potluck, I was at the DMV.
The amount of violent hatred that I hold for the DMV is .... well, violent. WHY does it have to take so long? WHY does it have to be so frustrating? And WHY for the sake of all that is holy is it so complicated??? I can feel my blood pressure rising. Or something.

So anyways. This morning we set off for the DMV at the break of day, 9 am. I got there the first time and realized pre-child removal that I was missing a document. So I drive back home. I then go back and remove children 1,2 and 3. Assign to stroller locations, front seat, back in infant carrier seat, and holding on to the handle and jumping position. Go in, grab desperately for a number... 04. 94 being served. Retreat into hallway with massive stroller and barely-pantsed R2. Sit down, wait. Repeat for infinity. Oh, hey the potluck just started! Early! Who'da thunk? Continue waiting.

Toby: wants out, in, up, down. Eat raisins. Read a book. Sing on toy microphone. Turn mike into guitar, do some wailing solos which include falling on knees and screaming. Eat gummy bears. Color on grocery list. Climb on stroller, poke baby in head. Discuss. Climb on bench, stare in fire extinguisher window. Play guitar some more, pretend to fall down. Fake cry. Talk to creepy people. Discuss.
R2: Stare at people and breathe loud. Eat gummy bears. Make "eat" sign every 36 seconds. Repeat.
Bean: Eat seat belt. Get poked in head. Squeal. Switch from Ah-da to ma ma ma ma. Mildly protest being in car seat. Repeat.
FOR ONE HOUR. Oh my holy freaking government bureaucracy. Finally get called. Go to desk, driving over rows of people with massive stroller. Sit down for 1.5 seconds, to be informed that my name is not on the lien and I cannot do the paperwork to get a license plate.
Arrive at potluck when it is over. The end.

In other news, I need to pack for 4 weeks. How does one do this? It seems like I would need all my stuff.

The big news... Bean now has pierced ears! How barbaric, you say. You should just get a Barbie. Ah, whatever. It is just goofy how excited I got after the girl finished piercing and there we were with our Just Got My Ears Pierced bag. It's like a rite of womanhood or something. VERY happy. Bean cried during the sticks, and then stopped immediately afterwards. That was a relief, as I feared the Apocalypse of Emotions.

Also yesterday, checkups for Toby and Bean. Toby is in the 20th percentile, which means he is bigger than 20% of kids his age. So he's little. But the pedi said he's smart for his age. I knew that. But I like to hear it, anyway. And Bean is 15 pounds and nowhere near any kind of chart. Which I knew, too. BUT she can pick up cheerios and give kisses and say mama and point, which makes her not that far behind.... Hooray!

Idol last night, it is as it should be. By the way, this is a good season. I'm lovin it.

The other night, I went out with my new pals to the Melting Pot. It was quite fun. I'm going to miss these friends when I'm in Nashville and Texas. So that makes a total of TWO nights this week I went out of the house, sans children. It was like being a man or something! I greatly enjoyed it but the MOG, he is weary. Not so easy, eh? MUAHAHAHA

I toyed with the idea of going on strike today, to protest low comment-age. But I wasn't sure if anyone would notice. So here I am, blogging like a schmuck.
Schmuck does not trigger spell-check. It is, evidently a REAL word.

Have you heard about this movie/documentary Expelled? Looks amazing, opens Friday. Go.

Tonight, I am going to a girls-night-out with my small group, a farewell party of sorts for me as I leave KC for 2 months. We are going to eat a sick, obsessive amount of chocolate in a glittery, shiny restaurant. Yessss... Actually, last night we tried out a chocolate fountain at our group. It was awesome. I heartily approve of chocolate fountains. This is an infant loss support group, I remind you. We need chocolate, for therapy.

So, since I will be out chocolating, I will have to tape American Idol. On my VHS VCR. Because ain't no school like old school.

One of the amazing things about this support group is that just talking about stuff seems to get you moving. Like, realizing that these other women still grieve, and that they get "stuck" spiritually, has been so encouraging that I don't feel very stuck anymore.

R2 had a neurologist appointment today... scheduled months in advance because the clinic is so busy. So off we went at 10 ish this morning. I had called and verified the appointment, and then we drove around in circles for a while looking for the place. Found it. Took out three kids, got a wagon, went for a ride. Wrong place. It actually was in another branch of the hospital, downtown. So we missed it and have to reschedule. Stinks.

Stuff like this always happens to me. And maybe I'm irresponsible and non-verifying or something, but dangit! I thought I had this one. Sheesh. So now I have to call and say I'm a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and I need to reschedule for JUNE when we're back in KC.

We leave for Nashville on Sunday. Some guys are coming to house-sit... guess I should clean everything, or something.

Sorry about the late blog. For once, it is not my fault. Well, it kind of is, because I forgot to pay the phone bill. But ultimately, the internet was broken.

Today, for once in his life, the MOG did not have class. Wow, you say. That's kinda harsh. Uh, what I mean is, the MOG was out of school, not that he was tacky or "classless". Anyway, if I said it that way, it would pretty much be a compliment in that he had never, prior to today, been classless or tacky. Which, frankly, would be untrue, because it has happened before. Albeit rarely. But I digress. Deliberately. Because it amuses me.

Back to talking about American Idol. When was I talking about Idol, you say. My my... you are chatty today, aren't you? You were talking about Idol in the comments yesterday, and today, that's when. ANYWAY. In reference to the Idols singing Shout to The Lord... (aka Darlene makes a Million)... I see this, and Christmas songs played in Walmart, as "Christ is preached." In other words, He still gets the glory, even if a girl in a belly shirt sings a song about how great He is, with no understanding. And 30 million people hear it? I think that's just great, all around.

Oh yeah, before I digressed, and then had a secondary digression, I was trying to talk about today. Since R1 did not have SCHOOL, I ran away to the library and the thrift store. If anybody around here had actually taken a nap, I would still be gone. But they slept not. Still, I had a great time and gleefully spent 3 dollars on a pair of pink checkered Vans and 2 baby dresses that are pretty pioneer-era. R2 loves them... he's all about dressing his baby dolls. Which, you know, is of some concern to his father, but whatever. Happy Friday and have the weekend Marvin Zindler would have wanted you to!

Directly on the heels of sickness 1, I have developed sickness 2. This one does not involve vomit... hallelujah. This is more of the coughing hurting achy whiney headachey sleepy kind. Sigh. Just took an hour nap and I hope I'm better.

In other news, we have ants. Ants ants ants. They started in the bathroom and have extended to the kitchen. Which is nightmarish, but they don't bite and they are not interested in food. In fact, they ignore food and head right for white things... like paper and my laptop and electrical cords. We have tried the little ant baits... nope. And the highly toxic spray poison... kills the visible ants in range of the spray dead. But then the rest just wander around the bodies of their comrades unharmed. The MOG has suggested just co-existing, in the spirit of Rodney King. But I can't take crawly things. Bugs. Shudder. I heartlessly murder every one that crosses my path, just to make a point. But so far the ant community remains unthreatened. Sheesh.

In other, other news, Idol Gives Back was last night, and it was a'ight. Coolest part was the very end when they sang Shout to The Lord. Who'da thunk it?

Well, Bedste is technically off to the airport. Actually, she's going to sit in the house of prayer for 3 hours with R1, but she already said goodbye to me and mine. We had a great visit. It's very surreal seeing people from home and then all of the sudden they're gone for months. I wonder how that translates to R2 and Toby's brains. Bean was not a fan of VKG this visit. She felt that Eva was the cause of me being gone for 3 days. Finally, today she smiled at her. Funny stuff.

Idol last night... my favorite didn't do his best performance, that being David Cook. But he's still awesome and I expect him to be in the top 3 and NOT win the whole thing. Then tonight is 2 and a half hours for the Idol Gives Back special, and tomorrow is the results show... lotta idol this week. Tonight will probably be pretty boring, however. Too many celebrities.

A sad development in my life: the day I got the plague last week, I had sampled the CinnaSnacks from Sonic. After sampling them again countless times that night, I don't know if I will ever like cinnamon again. This is life-altering, as I have cinnamon snack sites sprinkled across this city. Ugh. I'm feeling a little queasy even mentioning it.

Real queasy. Quick, somebody change the subject.

Let me start by saying that Brynn has never really slept through the night. EVER. And she's almost 14 months old.... and before she came Toby never really slept, ever. So yeah, for 2+ years I have fed a baby about every 2 hours.
As of this writing, Bean has slept 5+ hours TWICE. That's correct. Viking Granny fixed her.
The thing is, I'm still tired. But that's preposterous! you cry. Ah, shut up. I mean, no. I just have not chosen to go to bed at an appropriate hour and thus am still tired. The end.

Last night was my support group/ home group. I was the prayer focus this week... so I got ministered to and that was a blessing. I like it when people pray for me. I mean, when I want them to. There were only 3 of us last night so it was cozy. We leave for Nashville in two weeks, and then after NVille for a month, we'll be in Texas for a few weeks. So I really only have one group left before June. And that's kinda sad. But adventures! Wahoo!

I was going to post some pictures today, but in technology's eternal battle to destroy me, every rechargeable battery in the house is dead and so I cannot import anything. Am I charging the batteries now? Of course I am. Do I really think I'll win this one? Not really.

We flew out of KC Friday morning at 6:40. In the MORNING. Ay Caramba. I hate flying, so I have defense mechanisms for the times when we are most likely to crash to the earth, like the moment when the front wheels leave the ground, and the early trajectory, and descent and landing. I am fine when we are 34,000 feet in the air. My thinking is, it would take a while to fall out of the sky from that height, and I would have some warning. So I try to have a good book to divert me for the crucial moments, which means I have to ration it so I don't finish before landing. I blew it this time and finished my book, which meant I had to do a crossword puzzle during landing, which, frankly, was not sufficiently diverting. More than you needed to know? Well, this is my blog, folks. I can ramble on about any old thing and you just have to take it like a man.

It was such a great vacation. Maybe some of you would not want to fly to some remote oppressed city and spend 12 hours in prayer and fasting, but that's our bag. We just took our time. We sat around the hotel and watched a little TV. We ate good food, slowly. We drank Starbucks and watched far-off thunderstorms. And I remembered why my husband is my best friend.

Saturday was the Call. And I always say, the Call was awesome, intense, etc. It's just very hard to describe a day like this.

There's thousands of us here
and nobody really knows why
except maybe if we join together and ask
You will come
and remove the curse from this nation

We're all badly broken
and flawed, so flawed
but maybe, if we lift You up
You'll draw us near

The sound is deafening
of eight thousand hearts breaking
with Yours, for Yours

And maybe we've got it right
maybe we've got it wrong
but we can't stop asking
that much we know

More about the Call and vacation this week.

Off to Alabama... for the Call Saturday and a mini-vacation Friday and Sunday. I'm sure I will miss my kids terribly, but I'm pretty excited about the break.
VKG landed safely, and even took the van out for a spin around KC, and got lost. So she's adapting quickly. It took me a couple of weeks to get lost!

So there you go. Oh, and the sickness is finally over. 24 hours... more like 32 hours. I resolve to never throw up again in my life.

HEY! Look at my new great-nephew! SERIOUSLY... most newborns look like boiled monkeys, but this little guy is cute from the get-go. Good genes.



Good job, Chase and Lacy! Can't wait to meet him!

Sheesh. Today we pick up Eva/Bedste/Viking Granny from the airport for a weekend of fun and frivolity. Only problem, I AM SO SO SO SICK. The pukes finally got me. I am miserable... was up all night and thought surely I'd be better by morning.

My sons are watching an infomercial for some skin care product. Toby picked the channel. All of the sudden I feel pretty wrinkly.


Ohhhhhhhhh...... I just want to stop feeling sick. That's all I got.

I toyed with the whole, " Surprise! I'm PREGNANT!" idea today, it being April 1st and all. But I can't put my aged relatives through that... so, no jokes. Besides, I'm not really into April Fool's. I don't like lying, and I don't usually believe anything on April 1st, anyway.

Two pretty good Google links:
Google Custom Time
Be a Virgle pioneer!

In other news, the pukes have passed to the other two children now. So maybe that'll be it? Maybe I don't have to personally be involved? Maybe it will pass me by! Ugh.

My small group last night was really good. It's so healing, and I think I am making some really good friends. The issue for me will be how to pursue friendships outside of the group setting. One friend was supposed to come over today. But she has a 4 month old, so once I figured out the pukes were alive and well, I cancelled. Luckily, this particular virus seems to pass in about 4 or 5 hours. Those are miserable hours, but then it's over.

In other, other news, I have started putting all my poetry and prose on a new blog. Haven't decided if I will make that public or not... that's a hard thing to share. But since I've put it up on the freaking INTERNET, I guess I will give y'all the link when I'm ready.

My new friend Amanda is the coolest. One amazing thing about her house: SWEET TEA. How I have missed the Southern goodness of sweet tea.

Clark. Out.