Thursday, May 18, 2006


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I don't want to jinx myself.... but Toby has slept from 10-6 for like
3 days now.... crazy. I have to adjust to sleeping through the night.
What a good problem.


Pray for me. I need to want God. I need to love His word.
I don't.
It's just not alive to me. I read it and it all feels monotone...
like a chore. I don't want that...

what if
I call for You
and You don't come

what if
I'm waiting
and You're busy

what if
You do come
and You don't like me

what if
You change everything
and I don't like it

what if
I try really hard
and I still can't find You

what if
everybody asks me where You are
and I don't know what to say

what if?

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