Thursday, May 11, 2006

Selective perception

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It's wierd how you don't notice things until they affect you personally. I remember seeing Toyota Corollas everywhere after we bought ours... still do, as a matter of fact.
Other things that my eyes have been opened to....
Special needs people... honestly, I never really paid attention. You know, you just kinda look away. Now, growing my own"special"... I see the people in there. And SN kids are so fun... not everything, but there is usually a pretty good sense of humor and sweetness... It's interesting to learn another world... kinda going crazy on the ellipsis this morn...
Oh, and now I hate it when people say "retarded" as a cutdown. HEY! That's a dumb way to use that word. It means delayed. So it's not an insult... but now it is and I always kinda cringe when I hear it.

And the whole universe of child loss and infertility.... wow.
After I lost my twins, or rather had my twins and they died, I found an online forum/message board for Christian women suffering from loss or infertility. You guys cannot understand what that community meant to me, and still means to me. I had to have my family, I had to have my church family, and I had to have this community called Hannah's Prayer.
Just .... sharing a cup of suffering.... and they've been there or they are there. What a blessing.
So now, I see things differently. I have known the agony of wanting a child, desperately, and waiting and hoping and losing. And then hoping again and getting my baby. I will never be the same after this journey.
So now I have my eyes open. And I see people around me, wanting, waiting.

Just kinda introspective this morning.. wonder who else I will "find" as I grow?

**GREAT new pix on the family pix blog**

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