Monday, May 22, 2006

trading my sorrows

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Yesterday, church was awesome.... We were moving along in worship and I was trying hard to concentrate on worshipping... sometimes I just have to really focus my mind.
Then I see Kimberly walk over to Denise and the next thing I know, Kim is laying in Denise's lap and Denise is bent all the way over her.... I just figured it was some tremendous mother/daughter healing going on or something... but Denise was tipping over further and further and I thought they might fall off the chair. Then, after a while, Denise leaves Kim laying across the chairs and stands up.
Sometimes crazy things happen at our church. You just have to roll with it.
Then, somebody else walked up to D. She started praying for her and over they both went. So after a minute D had a line waiting.... I could feel the Holy Spirit really wanting to take over the place. So then D is standing there with slain women all around her on the chairs and the floor. It looked like the Civil War. Only they were women, and they weren't in uniform, and they weren't dead or bleeding. And we were indoors... Later there was a big altar time where everybody came and received.

Meanwhile, on the stage, the worship team had moved into a Trading my sorrows/Joy medley.

And here's what happened to me. As I was singing about trading my sorrows for the Joy of the Lord, I got it. It was like the Lord was saying, today, NOW, trade your grief for joy.
See, I have carried my suffering with me for years. Yeah, it's been rough and I have had a lot of tragedy. BUT I just felt clearly- let me say I KNEW clearly, that that was it. Lay it down. Lay down my rightful sorrow and move on. And taking the joy of the Lord as my strength.
Imagine Lazarus coming out of that tomb. And he is looking around in disbelief. "Am I through being dead?? What do I do now?"
And the first thing he has to do is get out of the graveclothes. (2nd thing, bathe)

So here I am. I am laying down my grief. I love my sons.... Evan and Rees. I will always miss them. But it's time to open the new chapter. Take off the graveclothes. Then what? I don't know. I've been promised joy for the trade.

Sounds like a good trade to me.

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