Monday, July 28, 2008

Woman Sacrifices Shower For Family

Kansas City, MO
An area woman is smelling especially ripe these days after offering her shower slot to her three small children. “I’m no hero,” she opines. “I just did what anybody would do if their child was covered in oatmeal.”

Clark originally planned to schedule in shower time after her children were bathed. She was surprised to find that her husband had also not showered, and was in desperate need. “I was all greasy,” claims Richy Clark, a 30 year old singer/songwriter. “I was out on the porch drinking my coffee, to get away from the kids. It’s hot out there, you know?” The shower opportunity was again sacrificed for the sake of a family member. The Clarks are one of the few remaining American families to only have one bathroom.

“It’s becoming an epidemic,” said Helmut Oppelganger, MD of Los Angeles, CA. “These young women are finding themselves between a rock and a hard place.” Oppelganger recommends that mothers wake up earlier, or consider having a second bathroom installed.

The 29 year old mother of three hopes to take a shower in the near future. She talks as she cleans peanut butter off the wall. “Yeah, of course. You know, if it works out, and maybe they nap or watch Sesame Street or something.”



  1. What an article.....

    I was looking forward to the CLARKIVES....but this was great.

    Ms Smartapants...

  2. interesting....

    you DO hvae a way with words...

  3. Put Brynn and Toby's room with crayons and paper...bowl of gate them in......

    Leave R2 in the Living room to chill and play with puppets..

    Take 3 minute shower......dress and grab the Magic Eraser.....and WALLA

  4. that is AWESOME!!!! i am a 25 year old mother of 3, at 4 years old and under. i totally relate :)

  5. I have two bathrooms. I'm willing to share. maybe that could be a nice outing for you, go over to a friends house and shower?

  6. Great article, I think I just saw it on Fox News. = )

    We got all moved into our house Saturday and unpacked some Sunday. Now the setting up fun starts!

    Here's something kind of funny. I go to these little meeting rooms down the hall when I need to make a private phone call. The rooms have names like Quality, Integrity, and Diversity. I went into the Quality room, but the phone didn't work. I then went into the Integrity room, but all the chairs had been taken from the room.

    That kind of stuff makes me laugh.

  7. awesome, Josh. What about the diversity room?

  8. I bet the Diversity Room was filled with lot's of people all dressed the same with the same color of hair....


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