Back to the baby-ness of Toby. I'm starting to freak out a little. People used to always say "They grow so fast" and I would look at my 20 pound 5 year old and think..." No, they don't." Well. I get it now. Stop the crazy train. My heart is in a continual squeeze as Toby does these beautiful things and it's all so fleeting.
I wrote this a year ago- now it's even more true
Is this motherhood, this fleeting sense of ownership...
this reaching out to grasp, just as it becomes a memory
this holding and releasing
This blinking, and finding
change happening before your eyes
And even when I try to hold too tightly,
they evade my grasp
shadow boys
Shannon and I hear ya. The "they grow so fast" fact seems to really get cemented after the 1 year birthday. Keith (now 15 months) seems to grow by leaps and bounds, and while we want him to keep learning and progressing, you sure do know the babyness will end one day.
ReplyDeleteAND------ frist!
anon here, but never #2 anymore
ReplyDeleteSECOND
where do u go 4 haircuts
ReplyDeleteI get my haircut by Linzee
ReplyDeleteR1 goes to Visible Changes
R2 goes to Snip-its but they were closed so he went to VC as well
Visible Changes sucks.
ReplyDeleteSECOND
Tonight... Freedom Fellowship... Worship Conference... Drums...Dancers...7pm....If you missed our wedding it is going to be a great chance to see part of what you missed out on!! If you where there well come anyways! It was great the first time. I think Leah added 2 dancers. We had originally planned for 6 and that didn't work out. Hope to see some of you there!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt really is a shame that someone must imitate another.
ReplyDeleteNever # 2 or second again.
I don't know anything about VC. Never been there.
But I know alot about Linzee & she is terrific! Does she sing songs while cutting hair? If she did she would probably get large tips!
How come you allow someone to say suck?
ReplyDeleteVisible Changes is alright. I get mine done there. But all I usually get is a trim. If you want something more complicated, it depends on which one you go to, and what level of stylist you get. Never trust a beginning stylist with color.(What are the beginners called...can't remember the experience categories right now)
ReplyDeleteLacy went to the one in Deerbrook Mall to get her hair bleached last summer. It looked incredible for the first day, and then the next day, it washed out to an interesting orange color. So, we went back, and they spent a couple of hours fixing it. It didn't look as stunning as the first time, but the interesting orange color was gone, so we were happy.
About six months later, we went to Master Cuts in Woodlands Mall to have the roots retouched. They told us that VC had JACKED HER HAIR ALL UP, and showed us where there were color stripes. (They were right, we had never noticed them underneath). Apparently she was such a hard case that the manager had to come take over.
They spent literally five hours redoing her hair, and said that it still needed more work and they could totally fix it, if we wanted to spend about $200 more in addition to the $100 were were already spending. (Hmmm....I smell greed...) We said no thanks, just get the roots, and make it look decent.
I saw Snip-Its the other day. That's that little kid place over there in the food court in the mall, right? It is SO CUTE! It made me laugh and I just stood there looking at all the little low mirrors. For a minute there, it made me want to have a kid...Well, for a minute, anyway. I'm enjoying the unattached life...hehehe!
Hey, Josh...Long time no see! How the Northwest coast?
P.S. Jessica, your post reminds me of that song WaterColor Ponies. And while I have no children of my own, I relate somewhat watching other people's kids grow up. It seems like Anila was just born, and now she's a walking talking dinosaur burying machine at the height of her Christian childhood indoctrination.
ReplyDeleteCute story. One time she was staying over at our house for the night. We had barbeque, and in true Velazquez style, plenty of sugar treats laying around, and coke everywhere... I was eating a piece of a Mrs. Baird's cinnamon roll, and I saw Nini eating something like walnuts. WALNUTS?!
I said to myself, "Awww no, this is sad. This is not natural. This is a disgrace to everything that is childhood."
So, I broke off a piece of my cinammon roll, and I told Nini, "Here, Nini, have some sugar. Eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil."
She took of it, and she ate.
While my comment elicited much laughter from the adult company, someone commented, "You shouldn't tell her stuff like that. She'll repeat it."
I said, "No she won't. She doesn't even know what that means. Nini, do you know what the tree of knowledge of good and evil is?"
Intently concentrating on balancing the messy pastry between her two tiny hands, and licking the sugar off her fingers, she didn't miss a beat, and said matter of factly in her little 3 year old Nini voice, "Yeah. It's from Adam and Eve." And she continued to eat.
And, just a few days ago it seemed, I remember watching a video clip of bald baby Nini looking out over her crib and smiling with no teeth...
if u want ur hair dun rite u gotta pay sum buks
ReplyDeleteunless ur gud frend wif linzee
Hey Layla!! the NW is good! If you haven't see pictures of us and Keith, go to Shannon's blog link on the right of Jess' front page.
ReplyDeleteWe're doing very good up here!
What are you up to?
Welcome, Mo! I like reading you!
ReplyDeleteAnonimis: I don't censor much... just if it really bothers me
AND
I pay some buks for Linzee... she's worth it!
Thanks for the Welcome!
ReplyDeleteJosh: Man, you guys look like such a happy little family. It's so weird to me, that I go off to college and everyone is basically teenagers or college age kids that act like teenagers...and then I come back, live away from everyone for a few years, and then start digging people up, and everyone is like real adults...like with kids, and marriages and mortgages and crap. It's like totally freaking me out!
As for me, I graduated from ORU two years ago, and now I'm temping while trying to get my career as a writer off the ground. ( That's the thing about a career in the arts. You gotta do the starving artist thing....hehe! I should have been something white bread like an accountant...) However, more concretely, I'm finishing my book about Christianity and the Arts, and trying going to London to study at Francis Schaeffer's L'Abri.
Jessica: What's your e-mail? I have something I'd like to send you.
layla, are you another cousin??? niece??? daughter?
ReplyDeleteplease inform for those of us newbies to the stanlee family farms and forums...
layla is the firstborn among many grandchildren..
ReplyDeleteand
jess
at
radiantrevolution
dot com
Layla-
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you've read "Addicted to Mediocrity" by Franky Schaeffer?
excellent to see Layla here!
ReplyDeleteyour perspective is so honest.
I love that!
change takes on so many directions and paths and opportunities.
just like "visible changes"...
ReplyDeleteI use to go there and I got their "best" stylist without knowing it so I kept paying the highest price. she had been interviewed by 20/20 because she was so successful and she was an immigrant.
one time I waited a long time and decided I didnlt want to wait any longer and then pay an extreme price too. she fussed at me for leaving. we had to part our ways.
MamaPC:
ReplyDeleteI'm Jessica's niece, but since she is a whole 3 years my senior, she feels like a cousin. You've no doubt seen my mother Georgia around here...
N8:
Yes, I've read "Addicted To Mediocrity," They had it in the library at ORU...which, I thought was rather ironic, considering that the school tends to be very middle-of-the-road mainline Christianity in most ways...(I'm sure you know what I'm talking about and have stories of your own.)
It was actually this sort of mediocre environment that led me to study Schaeffer in the first place. I've since read several of his books, and his teachings have inspired me.
PS. I hope my Nini story didn't offend you...We do respect and admire your family's decision to raise your kids to be health conscious...we only corrupt her sometimes...hehehe!
Beth:
Thanks for the welcome!
"Change takes on so many directions and paths and opportunities."
Girl, you hit it right on...Sometimes you are going along like you're supposed to, trudging along on feet of clay it seems sometimes. But you've got your walking stick with the little red bandana tied around the top. (You don't know why you have the bandana, you just thought you needed it cause it reminded you of Mark Twain, and he knows his stuff so you must need a red bandana), And suddenly you look in front of you, and there's no more path.
It's nothing but trees and dark woods. You look behind you, and it's only the muddy mess you just trudged through. So, you stand there and you realize you have two options, well three really.
1. Turn around
2. Sit down and give up.
3. Start chopping down the trees and make a new path
You realize that the "right" answer is choice number three. But now you have a logistical problem.
You shake it off for a second, as all good church kids do. God is in control, if I just do what I'm supposed to, right? So, you put your nagging logistical problem on hold. And, you survey the dark woods, and you recite all the Robert Frost you can because he is the master of all things relating to woods and paths...and you roll up your sleeves.
And, you've procrastinated as long as you could. The logistical problem comes front and center. How in the world are you going to chop down the trees? You have no tools. As a a matter of fact,all you have with you is your stick, a sandwich, and a canteen. You start to replay all of those brain teasers you took when you were a kid...
"Okay, kids, using only a paperclip, a rubber band, and a ballon, get the object from one end of the locked box to the other.." But, you can't remember anything on sandwiches, sticks, bandanas, and canteens, so you abandon that idea.
You start to wonder why you didn't take a tree chopping down class in college, and why no one told you should have taken a tree chopping down class, and why no one else has problems with chopping down trees.
You deduce that they must have taught tree chopping down in that one class you got out of because your AP scores. Stupid college prep high school classes! Now how am I going to know how to chop down the trees?!
So you tentatively step forward and start moving twigs. And you recite more Robert Frost, and a lot of Scripture, hoping that somehow your desperate incantations will bring about some sort of answers....
And then, you've exhausted your repertoire of Robert Frost and the heavens are silent, save for one thing. It was an old prayer you remember reading along time ago. It scared you even then because you knew it was your prayer. It was a blessing given to Henri Nouwen by his spiritual mentor:
"May all your expectations be frustrated.
May all your plans be thrawted.
May all of your desires be withered into nothingness.
That you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Spirit."
And you don't know that you are ready to pray that, because you know what it will cost. And you can't pay the cost. Not right now anyway. You're tired. You've trudged through so much mud, and there is a dull ache in your ankle, and you think you may have sprained it...and you really have to pee, too.
So you bargain with God. Anything but this, God. Maybe if I could have another path. Maybe one that doesn't lead to somewhere as great, but is a little easier.
But you know that this is your path, and this is the cost. And you wonder why all those years ago, you went up and recited the Sinner's Prayer. Is this what it really meant?
And, as soon as the thought flits through your mind, before you can even feel guilty for such an awful thought, you remember something. An image. A feeling. A stirring. And for the first time you understand that Newsboys song you used to sing all those years ago:
When You called my name
I didn't know how far the calling went
when You called my name
I didn't know what that word really meant
when I recall Your call
I feel
so small
Lord, what did you see
when you called out for me?
I start losing heart
and then
it comes again
lifted from despair
by the prayers of someone
lifted from despair
by the prayers of someone
Wow.......you can tell Layla and Jess are related.....
ReplyDeleteYou are both so fantastic and expressing yourselves through your writing.
Layla........
How did you get your name to appear black instead of blue?
Can you make Viking Granny show up purple?
I did not read your post because my glasses are waaaaaay over their in my purse.........but I will.
I can type just fine without being able to see....
This also serves as my disclaimer for any and all mispelled words.
Prayer request.....
My friends 21 year old child named Cory was questioned for several hours about an attempted murder. He finally told them he was tired and needed to go home. They said ok just "sign here"...so he did..
Now he is accused of the crime because he unknowingly signed a confession.
Please pray for God to expose the truth and protect Cory and give his mommy Peace. He is being held in a cell with two grown men in Louisianna.
Layla, have u read his father's books?
ReplyDeleteHow many books does Frankie have out?
I was weaned on Schaeffer - good stuff.
Layla - after reading a bit about you, I'd like to meet you and get your autograph!!!
ReplyDelete:-)
ever write scripts??? i need a scriptwriter!!!
seriously! got some time???
i got ideas....
Anon: I think Frankie only has the one, "Addicted to Mediocrity," although he helped his father research some.
ReplyDeleteI've read How Then Should We Live, Escape From Reason, The God Who is There and the lesser known Art and the Bible. Great books. Art and the Bible is a tiny little pamphlet size book, but it is a great manual for how a Christian should respond to the arts.
The only thing I would caution is that you have to have at least a basic understanding of history/philosophy/culture. Basically, he is expounding on these things, and expects you to already know what he's talking about. The first time I tried to read How Should We Then Live, I got so lost I got bored. I felt like I was just reading a history textbook.
And, then, years later, after the four semesters of history/philosophy/culture that my university required, I picked it back up and followed him exactly, and I knew my stuff well enough to even occasionally disagree on a point or two.
One thing that I love, I can't remember if it was Franky who said it or his father, but he was talking about the way Francis Schaeffer raised his kids. He said he raised them on a lot of art. Dragged them to museums, and exposed them to all sorts of music, and literature, even that which he may disagree with.
He wanted his kids to learn how to evaluate art from a Godly perspective. Is it good art? Does it espouse a Christian worldview? Are its points valid? How, if at all, does it contribute/reflect cultural discussion? Does it possess integrity as a work of art? So, instead of Britney Spears is bad, and Van Gogh is good, we learn to evaluate it and see for ourselves. That way his kids could learn to listen to the rhythm of cultural discussion, and even participate, yet remain connected with their Christian worldview. I love that.
Mama PC: lol! Sheesh, well you know what they say, flattery will get you everwhere!
I've tinkered around with scripts for different things. I did a couple of fun ones for a drama class in college, and as a teenager I was in the Network Drama Team for like five years. We did so much improv, it seemed liked script writing sometimes...At one point, I tried to start a drama team for a church I attended. That tanked out, but I did write a few little things for them...
However, I've never really seriously written one. I've never really had a reason to, I guess. Sounds fun though, I'd love to try!