Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Surprise! I'm lost!

This morning we had an appointment with the ocular prosthetic doctor. (Heretofore known as the "eye doctor")

Now, this guy's office is 20 minutes away. I, being directionally challenged, always resort to GoogleMaps (heretofore known as ^%$#!!) as my guide.

What I fail to understand is how I, as a person of potentially above average intelligence, could not find my way out of a wet paper bag. (North! Go North! my husband shouts, like that means something to me) So I take my little map and I memorize it, and then I drive somewhere else.

In my defense, Kansas City has too many freeways, all crowded up together. I get on and immediately am faced with 71 and 50 and 435 and 470 and on and on. And they split off everywhere.

I was very proud of skipping my usual first mistake today, and beginning on the right freeway. This according to my *^&%$, should last about 3 minutes before I merge onto the next one. Or 15 minutes, if you are supposed to be reading the text under the direction. So I, trying to just be reasonable, stay on. I then end up, 15 minutes later, at the end of the universe.

I call the MOG, who was in a top secret high level meeting and tell him I'm lost. He and his top level secret friend Randy kinda snicker at where I am now.

I turn around, and decide I should have done what I planned on doing this morning. I pick up the phone and cancel the appointment, for two reasons. 1) I am hopelessly lost and might not ever get there, and 2)Toby and Brynn are hacking like tiny blue-eyed smokers. Home and cough medicine, that becomes the new plan.

Next time, someone else in my family is driving.


  1. OK, so my kids needed to see an eye doctor when we first got here, and I randomly made an appointment w/ someone that accepted our insurance.

    I got my little directions and headed out, not knowing the area at all, with a newborn in the car and 2 other children.

    It started looking very scary and by the time we got there we were in the ghetto for sure, and the eye doc had bars on his windows. I called from the car and made up some lame excuse and canceled my appointment while turning around and heading home!

  2. Gettin lost in a busy city with a van full of little ones! NOW THERE'S A HOLIDAY NIGHTMARE COME TRUE! You poor thing jess!!The only thing worse would have been to have a hungry nursing baby screaming from the back seat! (which has happened to me before! I feel your pain sista!!

  3. Was it our neighborhood, Tracie?

  4. Hello Jess! You are so funny. I might suggest to the MOG that a very good Christmas present for his wife for life (plus a very good investment) might be a TomTom. Don uses one (top of the line) and loves it. Remember, he drives all over Montana, Idaho & Washington states and says it so much better than map quest, etc. Plus, the one he owns will update maps.

    R1, if you are reading this, TomTom.


  5. Comparitively to some places I've lived this city is small and has the easiest to navigate freeways ever.

    Go to Seattle, I lived there for 22 years, and by the end, I was STILL getting lost going to places I'd been to a million times. They shift the roads at night or something...

    We need to get you one of those dash top compasses, and maybe GPS. Or maybe I should come with you and be your live navigator. I'll even give you directions in a soothing voice!

  6. tomtom is a gps system i think

  7. TomTom? Aren't those frilly things that cheerleaders use?

    Jennifer- what areas of Seattle did you live in over your 22 years? My wife grew up in the area, and we have been back living here for 3.5 years. Everett area and now home bought in Maple Valley.

    I have to disagree that Seattle is bad. Hasn't been a issue. I do remember KC being a little hectic when we brought the youth from Texas up to OneThing in Dec. '02.

  8. Some people are born with an inherent sense of direction, some are not. Others are great at cooking and raising babies. I will remain anon for my health.

  9. OMG poor baby....... N to Alaska.... A in Alaska also stands for AIRPORT....that is the only way I was ever able to actually make it to pick you two up....

  10. Layla got a gps the other day. When I get in the car it says "turn left, turn left," in a british accent. It tells me to get off at 336,242. and 1488 and then woodlands pkwy while I am trying to go to spring. Layla and I don't know where it is trying to take us. So some days we like it and some days we don't.-G

  11. @josharoo- I was born in Redmond, and lived in Kent, then Maple Valley and most recently in Sammamish, on the Issaquah plateau.

    Seattle really isn't that bad, I was just trying to make Jessica feel better. I don't get lost, and the few times I did, it was in Tacoma, in the construction areas by the hideous smelling paper mill. At low tide. I use to drive through Everett on my way to college, and used to go to theatre there all the time. There are some cute areas to hang out round there.

    I think I have an easy time getting around in KC because it's so flat here. No mountains to get lost in and the freeways make sense to me.

  12. some day you should fill up w gas and go on an adventure and see where it leads

  13. good grief --- now even my iPhone has been taken over by the resistance........

  14. sorry bedste was for some really weird reason on my account. Um the iluvzacharyjohn thingy was my,madi, account. So everything that waz said on that account waz actually wut bedste waz sayin ok?. - Madi

  15. anybody looking at my thermometer? 23 degrees and dropping. I NEED A FIREPLACE!

  16. You are such a good story-teller. :)

  17. 23? You need to go live in Chicago for two winters like we did. I was dreading leaving for work the morning it was 0 with wind chill -8.

    Now that is cold.

  18. @Jennifer

    Since you were born and grew up here, you know where Port Angeles is. That's where my wife grew up. Beautiful area! Her parents still live there and we go to visit regular.

    Tacoma still had construction going on after we moved here and it was pretty confusing. They are mostly done now.

    Overall, I think Seattle is one of the easiest large cities to get around. Much easier than Houston or Chicago. Now congestion... Yikes! Seattle is horrible, I think rated 3rd or 4th worst in the nation.

    We liked living in the Everett/Mukilteo area, and just bought the house in Maple Valley in July. The south side is nice, but we'll see how we're feeling when the housing market rebounds. We could decide to move back north.

    And that is my long essay for the night.

  19. @Jennifer

    Just went to your twitter via Jess' followers and then to your blog. Congratulations on your newborn son!! We just welcomed a daughter 3 weeks ago, who joins her 2.5 year old brother. We love us some babyness! We did home birth... a VERY home birth. You can read about it on my blog.

    Following you on twitter now, enjoy hearing about babies and kids. Blessiings!

  20. @josharoo- YAY! New blog friends! I love Port Angeles. We used to go on day trips there as a family and hang out. I also really like Mukilteo, but that's just for the outlet mall.

    And you make a good point, perhaps I was confusing congestion (I used to drive from Issaquah to South Downtown every day for work, at least an hour both ways in traffic) for ease of navigation. It is easy to get around, it just takes forever.

    I am excited to start reading your blog! I want a very home birth next time, this birth, other than the great end result, was downright no good.


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