Monday, December 22, 2008

So here I am in Texas, trying to get sick of Mexican food so I won't miss it when I go back to KC. Oh, and in KC? ONE degree. We picked the right time to bail. For reals.

I love Christmas. I am always a cheery little elf, but this year is a little weird, having a tree set up 750 miles away, and all my celebrants with me here... odd.

Got ZERO inquiries for Ms. Smartypants over the weekend... Holiday slump? Anyways, give 'er another shot and I'll answer sometime.

Time for your Holiday Smartypants! Submit your questions of a general and interesting nature today, and get an answer on Monday or whenever wifi smiles upon Dame Smartypants!


  1. Dear ms sp
    how can the weather in TX be freezing one day and the
    upper 70's the next day

  2. Ms. Smartypants.
    This theoretical of course, Say I had a sister and every time I saw her she had different kinds of hair, she never had a wig, just her hair changed colors and sometimes she had multicolors in her hair, Sometimes I would see her twice in one week and again there would be purple, pink, white streaks, each time she would look different and whatever color it is it sticks up and sideways somewhere. She doesn't have much hair, but it is in this constant state of evolution. Not only is this happening, but her husband sometimes matches her, like right now, they both have stick up purple and white hair, not very long but consistently in a state of change. Could you tell me what this means on three levels.

    Oh well that is actually four ways. So let me know what I should say to her.

    Anonymous ( At least I am trying to be)
    Ps, I wouldn't mess too much with the dude.

  3. can i be miss smartypants for a second?

    i would say to this person,beloved as she IS! that she is experiencing the swift streams of her ever evolving identity on all levels. the turbulent nature of her "ride" the past 18 months has caused her otherwise quiet, unobtrusive, but inwardly fiery nature to come forth for all to see,kind of like the New Earth as it cooled in the primordial mists of creation. Mountain crusts pushed forth as the inner magma cooled, expanding and contracting...etc etc.

    i must say I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT ALOT

    as for the Dude, we all know he is the creative sort and like Adam identified with Eve, he is identifying with said wife and by inclusion, saying to all...."I, YES I, AM THE MATE of this controversial wonderful creature!!!?" ah=ah-ah=ah=aaahhhh, (Tarzan crying in the jungle sounds coming forth from fists pounding on chest in gleeful triumphant pride)

    the colors, well, if trees can change their colors and all of nature display the glory of the changing seasons, why can't a woman also express her prerogative this way? i say, purple is a fine color and if batman would tolerate it i would also display my locks in same way......or burgundy, or blue, or platinum......


    purple is royalty and so on a financial level, this would be a statement of FAVOR and prosperity as well as the birthright of royalty......

    but then again i am not miss smartypants and so i ought not to have expressed my editorial prerogative in this manner on this sorry, ms!

  4. u people have a lot of time on your hands... ha ha ha

  5. Kat,
    Your opinion is well worth the wait.
    Great analysis. I love it.


  6. I would like to clarify one point. I am not saying I don't like this evolutionary wonder, I think it is beautiful, I would do it if I wasn't told by someone who loved me that we were both too old.


  7. anon....
    will i see u tonight? i hope so.
    i miss you,

    who R you?



  8. ok

    now i
    get it

    i though you, anon,
    were the purple haired wonder!!!!

  9. just a thought

    will the purple haired wonder
    ever comment herself?

  10. Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!
    ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

  11. Dear Ms Smartypants ~

    Why is that raindeer's nose red?????

    Why do some kids scream and cry to see the man in the red suit???

    How did Frosty wave goodbye???

    Why did Frosty finally stop at the traffic cop???

    How do the raindeer fly???

    How does Santa not fall asleep on his ride all night????

    What's Santa's favorite cookie????

  12. Dear Ms Smartypants,
    I heard that male reindeer shed their antlers before winter, while the female keep theirs through to spring. If this is true, then the reindeer that pull Santa's sleigh are all female and everyone knows that females are better drivers and more efficient than males. This is probably the reason why Santa is able to deliver presents round the world so quickly. Right? Would you elaborate on this, please?

  13. this is good stuff. I'll get to you..

  14. I just said to this sister of yours that she looks like an accident happened. But my opinion may not count since i am not even in the running if you git my drift.Mama

  15. And of course women drive better. Everyone knows that, psst. whatever. Mama

  16. why do parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers, but then encourage them to sit on the fat, bearded man's lap asking him for gifts?

  17. dear ms sp.

    what does it take to become a certified sp?

    and do you have a theme song... if not my i suggest somthing like misty edwards bridg on i will run... you know the part

    ( my soul pants for god and god alone... im wearing my soul pants for god and god alone...)

    we could all sing... ms sp for god and god alone!

  18. dear ms smarty pants...
    1. why did america elect barak obama?
    2. is barak obama the antichrist?
    3. why did i go bald?
    4. who was the first president?
    5. how is google so amazing?
    6. is google the antichrist?
    7. when will my daughter be born?
    8. how could one use the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics in an arguement against evolution?
    9. what is my favorite color?
    10. who am i?

  19. i (missBigsmartypants)
    vote that the late anonymous
    is.........robert clark.


    jenniferreichert does not blog, does she?

    she is pregnant with daughter

  20. if it is NOT robert, nor jennifer, then might the purple haired wonder woman be.......
    pregnant with daughter?

    would she be born with purple hair?

    is purple hair dye toxic to scalp?

    r these the purple haired people mama prayed for so long ago?

    would it be gauche to crash mama's party today?

    would all look at me and gasp?

    can i be part of your tribe?

    am i delirious from going to walmart at 5:06 AM?

    will i be deranged at age 80?

    will jess block me on her blog?

    now to clean kitchen


    i am pro-crastinating.......

    but oh so so SO triumphant that I beat Walmart at their own game!

    Why there were clerks humming christmas music under their breath as they stock shelves in peace and sanity!

    i was one of them!

    i was singing.....

    let every heart prepare Him roooooooooom!!!!!!!

    and heaven and Nature sing!!!!!!

    wasn't last night awesome?

    i dragged butt in there so tired i could not hardly smile

    and sailed outta there good to go for at least 3 hours.....

    and woke up at 3:30 AM with a song in mine heart!

  21. one last thing.....

    jess i am determined to get with you one way or another or another or another.......

    somehow somewhere

    richy too.....

  22. katwoman... the way to GET WITH JESSICA, is through her heart.. and the way to her heart... is tacos!

  23. i can so relate!!!

    my guess is that KC is bereft
    of good mex food.

    you shoulda seen me when i lived in hong kong......

    denise brought me a gallon jug
    of Pace Picante sauce and tostitos when i lived in bangkok......

    my best "care" package yet!

    ok, ok, i GET IT!

    oh, and, i left out little deepthoughtsabound. she is with woman child....might she be
    a blogging?

    i am listening to mannheim steamroller right now wrapping gifts and crying....remembering my family in california....and my mom and dad who are with jesus....and all the times growing up listening to Perry Como (yep, i'm that old) and remembering sharon in the hospital and wondering if she brought her mannheim steamroller to hospital and if she might be listening to it....dumb thought.

    but she is nuts about christmas

  24. everybody look! at what my husband bought me!

    today's post!

    tacos tomorrow? ?puede? o, no puede?

  25. no puedo... we will be on the road to KC!

  26. i am sooooo bummed, man!

    i thought someone told me you were leaving tomorrow>>>>>>

    just left message with richy....
    i do not know your cell no???

  27. wait.. what blog am i reading... oh nope it is yablonksi flotsam and jetsom... i think i accidently went to katw0man's blog everytime. ouch. sorry... well.. er... no i'm not... hahahahahaahahaah

  28. Costa I need a costa for my drinka- and FRED are really bad bad names for a GIRL! Stephanie and Robert are having a BOY and his name will be .............

    Frederick Costa Clark.......

    They change their minds every other to what the precious child will be called .....

    but I have not heard EVA or JOY JOY or anything like that being mentioned KatWoman

  29. Jennifer.....or........another PG friend from around the world.....


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