Friday, January 5, 2007

24 weeks

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Well, Brynn is medically considered viable now. I've considered her a "real baby" for about 6 months now, but viability as far as being able to live outside the womb starts today.
This is the fourth time I have been 24 weeks pregnant. I had the twins at 24w 0d.... R2 at 24w 1d... so as of Sunday, Brynn and I will be in territory that only Toby has reached.
And I'm doing well. Really good. My heart hurts today. For all of my babies and the struggle. And wishing it was different. That R2 was a "normal" 7 year old... that I had toddler twins in here wreaking havoc with Toby... the alternate universe... the other reality of what could have been.
But I only let myself think about it for a minute.
Because I am grateful for what I have. I am so grateful for my sweet sensitive special boy. And my baby... my crazy funny busy baby. And Brynn... the hope of what she will be.
Sorry to bum anybody out, but hey! this is my blog and I'll think if I want to! =)

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