Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday fiction: breakfast with Jimmy


Part 1:

Part 2:

Seeing Mama on that soap opera had really wore me out and I nearly overslept and forgot Jimmy's breakfast in the morning. By time I got it done, he only had a couple minutes and he was just grumpy as a bear. I gave him his eggs and a Pop-Tart on a special plate and sat down for a nice little chat.

Now, me and Jimmy have had our ups and downs. I mean, brothers and sisters tend to have their squabbles, you know, and we was no exception.

While back, maybe 2 years now, Jimmy brought this woman home. Boy, she was all fingernails and denim and big hair and loose morals… I guess he figured she’d move in and be something like a wife. Now, Jimmy’s no saint but Candy was pure evil. I tell you what, I slept with a butter knife under my pillow… Candy only made it a week or two before me and her crossed up, and then she left pretty quick. (stole my perfume I got from Avon, too. Not worth the bullet…)

Another time, Jimmy got thrown in jail for a fight or something and I came to pick him up and then we got in a argument and I left his butt there. 2 days he sat in County. Lucky for him, the pizza industry was not too hard on its workers back then, he just went right on back to work when he got out.

Anyway, Jimmy thinks I don’t want him to ever get married and I cause trouble on purpose. Fact is, I’d love for him to get married and start leaving his socks in somebody else’s couch. I’m just sayin there ain’t a long line waiting…

So I knew going in I’d have to handle him gentle.

I started out real easy. “Hey, uh, Jimmy,” I said, putting down the coffeepot.

He started to growling “Why you got to slam the coffee around? Just so dadgum loud every minute?”

“Jimmy, I need to talk to you about somethin.”

And just like that he got up and walked out, griping all the way about the electric company and deadlines and how the President had it in for us and so on. Slammed the door and held his head all the way to the truck. Woke up the baby, too, the no-good…

Now I need come up with another plan. Or just wait till Jimmy’s in a good mood, which is harder than it sounds.

Also, I gotta do some research and find out where Telenova is, and why they’re hiring rotten run-off deadbeat mothers for their rotten soap operas. I guess I’mon have to learn Spanish.


  1. This DadGum story is gettin addicting..... I feel sorry for this little mama with the screamin yungin

  2. Perhaps her show is the basis for Y Tu Mama Tambien?


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