Monday, July 27, 2009

I want a baby

I don't actually want to be pregnant. I just want a baby. A little, tiny, floppy fuzzy haired baby. Now, before you buy your plane tickets, I am not pregnant. Not planning on getting pregnant. In fact, I had pretty much given up on ever being pregnant again, since I can't carry to term.

I've been working through this for years now, and I've gotten peace about being done, biologically, and about adopting, and even about not being healed. (although the healing-evangelist side of me is a little wary of being sick in body) So that's where I've been for a year or two now, and the spouse pretty much in agreement. Until recently.

Now, he has started making noises about having another baby. A bio baby. I then remind him, if I get pregnant, a) somebody has to take care of me full-time because b) I can't stand up when I'm pregnant and c) he has to quit touring and sing over me for 10 months, or 6 or whatever and d) we have three crazy awesome little kids that I would not be taking care of. Oh, and e) I have made it to 8 months ONCE out of 4 times.

Maybe this topic is super-heavy for you. It's not for me, because I am not pregnant, and thus I am just thinking this through.

So I remind him and then he remembers. And then we talk about healing. Before any of you dispense advice about soap toxins, or raspberry tea or something, uh, don't. It's a physical problem, and we have investigated it thoroughly.

So here's the thing. We stopped praying. And now we're going to start again. And if I get some kind of clear sign that I'm healed, then you can buy your plane ticket. So, pray for me and stay tuned.


  1. I know that ache in your heart to have a baby! I'm fighting baby fever for a few more months, myself.

    I'll be praying for you Jessica, you are one of my most favorite internet friends. :-)

  2. yeah randy has baby fever most of the time!

    healing... ahhhhh topic i don't understand :0/ God knows though:0)

  3. have you tried soap toxins or raspberry tea?


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