Fate kicks me in the butt

Decided to skip the YMCA today, because my house looks like Bolivar. (Again, with the hurricane insensitivity, I know)

Haven't worked on the house so much. We had a slightly more relaxed morning than usual, and the tots ate one bite of banana bread and kinda licked their yogurt spoons and then wandered aimlessly about the kitchen until I decided they were done and to get on with it already because my only real chance for a shower is during sesame street for petes sake and DO NOT EAT CHIPS OUT OF THE TRASH and if you're so hungry why don't you eat your breakfast and quit making your sister scream. To which they said I'm soooooo hungry and I don't want this I want chips don't throw my breakfast away aaaaaa I'm still eating that I don't want to sit in a chair Brynn haves to eat too aaaaaaaa.

At which point I decided to let them eat and go grab a shower, leaving them in the kitchen with access to knives and electrical appliances, and with a little ingenuity, poison, and an outside exit. Also, banana bread and yogurt and strawberries. And trash chips, maybe.

Now, in mommy logic, usually when I make a choice like this, the fates cancel each other and nothing happens. (bring diapers and wipes to Walmart, nobody poops. Golden.)

I run the shower with the door open, so I can decipher between you tooooook my buzzzzzightyear and i'm bleeeeeeeeding screams. And just after I put in conditioner, I notice an odd thing. Silence. If I were a cussing woman....

I rush to the kitchen, and they are happily playing in the backyard, yogurt covered, in ratty pjs and underwear. In reality, they are very safe. To get out, they would have to drag the very heavy gate open, and barring meteors or flying predators, nothing much would happen. But still. Alarming.

So there I stand, in my kitchen, yelling for them to get back inside now. The only real problem is that they don't really care what I would LIKE for them to do, as they are very content with their current activities. Oh, and I'm not really dressed appropriately for outdoors. So I yell some more, and then rush to my room and get dressed somewhat and run out and grab Bean, who is VERY disgruntled to be interrupted.

I usher them back down the hall, while being scolded by Toby for yelling, and put them in front of the TV with death threats (Brynn is unmoved), and finish my shower.

On the plus side, my hair is beautifully conditioned.