Friday, August 1, 2008

Smartypants strikes again!

89 comments:
 
uncle josharoo said...
Ms. Smartypants,

Since we just purchased a home and are expecting our 2nd child in November, should I increase my life insurance amount?

It is recommended, dear reader. Especially if your spouse is likely to knock you off. Not that this reporter has inside information.

 happy clam said...
Dear Ms. Smartypants,

Since i'm leaving my current career path for something more eternally beneficial, do you have any suggestions?

I already know i want to have a garden, but i don't know how eternal that is.

Your thoughts?


An eternally minded career is essential. May I suggest professional badminton? Some other options are finch cleaner, or troll. All of these are careers that have higher things in mind.

 anonymous said...
dear ms smartyPants 

Should I soak my beans over night or just cook them?

I hesitate to speak, but perhaps beans should be foregone for you, entirely. Eradicated from your diet universe entirely, permanently, and with haste. 


anonymous said...
Smartypants,

If you feel like you are going to throw up, is it better to go for a run and try to rid yourself of toxins? Or is there a better method?-G
If you swivel your palm towards the earth, you might find throwing down or across more feasible. 
 
anonymous said...
MSP

IF someone were to want a haircut and basically... well... have not much hair, what would you recommend?-G

Sort of like the cucumber in the hairbrush song by veggie tales.

There are multiple options. Sinead O'Connor comes to mind. There is also the Bruce Willis, or Kojak. All excellent role models of haircare.


 jennifer james said...
Ms Smartypants- In the prayer room, whenever people sit down next to me, they always have really atrocious breath and sit way too close. What is the proper etiquette for dealing with these issues?

Perhaps one could suggest less garlic to one's husband, before leaving together for the prayer room. Less Garlic makes more room for holy things.

lonley louis said...
Why can't I get a girl friend?

I would rule out excellent spelling as a cause.


And with that, I'm out. See you next Friday! PS, Sorry if I just sent you a zillion emails. I set up an away message for my email account and it went a little nuts at first.

89 comments:

  1. I love MS SmartaPants

    We will miss you for an entire WEEK but fasting is fasting.......


    You will have lots of good reading on here by then.

    Maybe we will break 100 without MnM help...

    Maybe you will have new material for your book..

    Maybe we will all go hog wild like when Mom and Dad are gone and your left at the house and can do whatever you want....

    Maybe everyone will change their pics and edit their names and you wont have a clue who is who when you get back......

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  2. Less mess er up- Tobias

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  3. Good idead- Brynn

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  4. Brynn......if you are going to be secretive...you will need to stop ratting yourself out with your spelling.

    Is that lonley guy trying to be Brynn....?


    LOL


    Tobias and Brynn have you set up blogger id's

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  5. I’ll ask Shannon if she is planning to knock me off soon, and then act accordingly. If she plans to in the next 6 months, I’ll increase it to a cool million.

    I received four of your away messages in reply to the same email that I sent you a week ago. Crazy Mac computers….

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  6. Oh, and a certain someone turns 30 Sunday.

    And, I posted a new video on my blog.

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  7. Dear Mrs Smarty Pants,

    I have a question, on a socio-ecological level. Is it weird for a person to take two showers a day. I was talking with a friend and she told me that i was weird for taking two showers a day. I do not see anything wrong with it.
    On a socio-level, i think i am the cleanest person i know, and a clean person is a healthy person.
    However, on an ecological pathway, they say i waste a lot of water.
    Your thoughts?


    I would like to remain anonymous in this, as i would not want your answer to cause division between you and I.
    Thanks

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  8. Since Smartypants is on hiatus. I will stab at the shower quandry.

    It is my firm belief that for the sake of humankind and societal interfacing, that anyone who feels they must shower more than someone else, should do so, although it uses more water, it is related to the garlic in the prayer room question, what should we sacrifice so that people would be willing to sit next to us in church?

    How green can you get?
    I mean if we are green enough that our skin and hair turn green, I think that is a little on the overboard side.

    I am all for clean skin, teeth and clothing, call me a waterhog if you will, but if you sit next to me at church and you smell like dirty feet, I am going to praise the Lord somewhere else in the sanctuary, and at the Father's House, that doesn't leave much room, so if you stink at my church...
    We ALL know it.-G

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  9. I think that a person should take as many showers or wash their hands as many times a day as they want to. They can also use their shirts to ole. Public door knobs if they ENT to also.

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  10. I think that a person should take as many showers or wash their hands as many times a day as they want to. They can also use their shirts to ole. Public door knobs if they ENT to also.

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  11. I think that a person should take as many showers or wash their hands as many times a day as they want to. They can also use their shirts to ole. Public door knobs if they ENT to also.

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  12. I think that a person should take as many showers or wash their hands as many times a day as they want to. They can also use their shirts to ole. Public door knobs if they ENT to also.

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  13. the only person who can delete multiples anonymy posts is fasting. O well maybe it will help us make 100. Shirt sleeves can help some peeps OPEN public doors!

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  14. The person who asked about taking two showers a day didn't say why they feel they need it. Other than being the cleanest person, why specifically do you think you need two a day? I’m not saying I think you shouldn’t. If you feel you need it, it’s probably a good thing, just wondering what your specific reason(s) are.

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  15. Shannon,

    We would like to know if you are planning to wack Josh in the next few months?

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  16. Josh,
    You better make sure you take out the trash everyday .-G

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  17. So if we read in the Washington times that a rocket scientist was eliminated be a very smelly round woman---we will understand the entire story.

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  18. Toby and Brynn......GET OFF THE TABLE.......Put that BACK!

    Get out of the garbage...YUK that's Garbage!!!

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  20. I am grounded from the COMPUTER
    but MOM is NOT home

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  21. GET OFF THE COMPUTER MY SWEET PRETTY COUSINS

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  22. You should be better examples to all of us yuggins.

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  23. WHAT DOES ONE DO WHEN ONE FEELS THEIR NOSE IS TOO LONG???

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  24. Boy these comments have gone down hill... boring...

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  25. Just wait till Monday morning and we shall really impress you...

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  26. Who is going to change Brynn and Tobias?

    NOT ME!

    Who is going to change ME?

    O NO

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  27. hey Josh, ur bro can hook u up with the best income protection for ur family. how great to hear about ur new house and ur fam is growin
    and BIG 30 Bday
    enjoy ur special day!
    she won't knock u off on such a special day

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  28. hey Josh, ur bro can hook u up with the best income protection for ur family. how great to hear about ur new house and ur fam is growin
    and BIG 30 Bday
    enjoy ur special day!
    she won't knock u off on such a special day

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  29. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BIIIIIRRRRRRTHDAY DEAR JOSHUA


    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOU

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  30. no lights in Cut n Shoot Texas ----

    Bad winds pulled up trees all over my neighborhood

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  31. I THINK it was the outer bands of Edquard

    It was like a five minute superdooper storm and then it was gone and all the trees were down and fences bent up

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  32. still no lights ---- wonder who has lights on--- everyone else?

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  33. BethC workin the blog

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  34. Happy 30th birthday, Josh!!

    Let's eat some ice cream together!!

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  35. Thanks for the "happy birthdays!"

    Yes, ice cream is awaiting me now!

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  36. Still no power----thank You God for electricity!

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  37. I so appreciate A/C and MW ----lights were on 5 am ish

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  38. I so appreciate A/C and MW ----lights were on 5 am ish

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  39. I so appreciate A/C and MW ----lights were on 5 am ish

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  40. I so appreciate A/C and MW ----lights were on 5 am ish

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  41. weather guy said we might have some storms this morning unrelated to edouardo. it must've been that. sounds powerful!

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  42. Hey guys!

    Been a while.

    A banana friend of mine told me about the "painted warriors" blog...and reminded me of good times here.

    I personally want a zillion tatoos.

    I couldn't go through reading all that blog without posting my $.02 somewhere. I know I'm late...but eh.

    Tattoos, formerly symbols of rebellion. Not at all anymore! These people that MamaPC mentioned as regretting their tattoos and peircings...howo many of them were hardcore, on fire for God and his kingdom? How many of them got a tattoo of a skeleton playing pool or something like that?

    If I want to decorate my body with artwork, how would it be any different from a girl wearing gold earrings? That practice is from pagan/witchcraft origins as well.

    Now, if we're getting into scripture...if we say that leviticus says not to cut or tattoo your body...why are we throwing out the eating pork, shrimp and all that? Old testament eh? Well, lets go to the New Testament...just for kicks.

    Here's a bit from what Paul had to say...

    1 Timothy 2:9 - Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.

    It goes on to talk about the whole controversial "women aren't supposed to preach" deal. Now, as a culture, do we embrace this? Certainly not...have we said "ah, well...we live in different times." For the most part...yes. I'm not saying that we should not interpret scripture for what it is saying, after all...truth is truth.

    What I'm stating is that, in context, the portions about marking your body and getting tattoos were in reference to pagan practices and necromancy.

    this has brought to light(in me at least) the vast generational chasm that has caused much dissension among the "hardcore" and "emo".

    These kids LOVE God! I should say...I LOVE GOD. Solomon's temple was decorated with gold and cedar and all these extravegant art forms. By today's standard even they could be considered "ugly". A different culture? Yes...

    So who are we to judge what another sees as beautiful and art and meaningful and special? If we're going to down tattoos, then why not literature? What about "art" on your typical "canvas" that has depictions of nude bodies, or Michelangelo's David?

    What about paint on wood? or walls? or words on a paper? or notes sung, with a guitar(distorted or not)? What about heart-felt lyrics being passionately screamed by an intercessor on a stage ministering to the people that the church has rejected and told that their music and tattoos are demonic? It's not about "fitting in" with these people to minister to them...it's about breaking cultural and generational mindsets and thinking...they're very big walls that need to come down.

    ok...so maybe that was more than $.02 so...ya.

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  43. Check this out,

    I've been listening to the podcast from this church. This guy blows my mind! Listening to these podcasts has literally changed my life!

    http://deliverancebiblechurch.com/

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  44. That was more like 1.50. ha. Good points. Much is very much cultural. What's in the heart!? That's what God is about.

    Any movement against perceived religion, has the danger of becoming equally religious. I call some movements, Anti-Religion ..Religion. Anything not centered in the person of Jesus is religion. Anything basing righteousness on someone or some outward action apart from Jesus is religion. Anyone trying not to be in the flesh is in the flesh, unless truly in the Spirit. etc... Jesus is a person, as is the Holy Spirit. Know Him well, love Him well. We'll find that He is very gracious and merciful. What about Jesus was so attractive that sinners flocked to hang out with him? I want to be like Jesus. GLORY! ha. - Richy

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  45. anyone wanna bet on the strength of the Tropical Storm Eduord when it makes landfall....?

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  47. I think that last night shook me up.....

    This is probably just going to be a lot of rain .....


    Yesterday...the 5 minute storm tore up this neighborhood and it didn't even have a name..

    It is impossible to rid your property of all dangerous items that could become spears in the mighty wind.

    Trees and branches and all kinds of stuff are laying everywhere.

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  49. But I tried.....I poured gasoline on this old wooden cabinet...and threw branches and pine needles all over it. I didn't want this POG (piece of garbage) blowing around in the wind and destroying my home or bashing out my windows...

    Yesterday was so crazy and still fresh in my head...

    So very aware of the fumes and all.......
    I carefully lit the fire.....

    Very quickly it became a HUGE dangerous inferno.

    I grabbed the water hose debated on calling the fire dept...I was spraying it constantly with water and it was getting bigger and bigger.......all of a sudden ....I couldn't remember if the FIRE BAN had been lifted or not......

    Finally I prayed....JESUS HELP ME! and just like that...I noticed the fire changing and calming down a tad.

    TWO HOURS later it was just smoldering.....

    I was exhausted and feeling very STUPID!

    But God used it to show me many things about ME..

    Why wait till it is a desperate situation to call on HIM? Why not call on HIM in the beginning? Why not check with GOD to begin with?

    Uuugh!

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  50. How is Edouard treating you all?

    Doesn't sound too bad, but read it could be 10 inches rain in some areas.

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  51. Because of the horrific events of the UN-NAMED storm from the night before....I am very well prepared for almost anything...except flying debree....I have a huge pile of parcially burned branched and nails and boards that can be easily transformed into SPEARS.

    BUT......My tub is full of water.....my laundry is almost completely washed...My water jugs are filled....my ice chest and bag of ice are ready....I have ONE candle....and lots of matches.

    I am ready....

    Just a lot of steady sprinkling right now....I love the sound of RAIN....

    It is supposed to get worse after lunch..

    EVERYONE is free to correct all my spelling..DONT CARE.....got more important things to do..like dodging huge raindrops and saving the world from the "YearBook"

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  52. Is it a VIRUS or what..?

    YEARBOOK..........anyone know?

    It sure acts like a VIRUS

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  53. I heard that little storm from the other day really tore up Cut-N-Shoot...

    Didn't do much physically over where stay, but it was sure fun to watch! I'm thinking that little storm had more power than this tropical storm will have. I'm thinking it'll be more rain.

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  54. www.chaunceycrandallmd.com


    This doctor is a cardiologist who prays for his patients. He was on call when the nurses called him into a room with a man that had already been dead for some time. God told him to pray for this man and he prayed "if he does not know you bring him back" and the man now lives. He gave his life to God in the hospital room 3 days later.....and now is a baby Christian....


    WOW......

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  55. Dr. Chauncey Crandall says that he sees miracle every week.



    A while back....he prayed for 3 months to receive the tongues....He told God I want everything YOU have for me......He prayed and prayed....and then one night a woman came in with a heart attach (he is a cardiologist) and she flatlined.....so he raised his arms and leaned over her and began speaking in tongues....and her heart started working again.


    I love stories like this....He was on the 700 club...

    today....

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  56. Someone give me a tropical storm report. Was it lamo? - Richy

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  57. I dumped out my water-jugs....drained the tub....and blew out my candle......

    all we got in Cut n Shoot was steady sprinkles....

    not much wind at all......i don't even have any standing water.....

    no flying spears or dangerous debree....

    NADDA

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  58. i think it became a tropical depression 5 minutes after landfall....

    I am very thankful......for the lack of excitement..

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  59. We had good, steady rain most of the day around here on the east side. It stopped around 4ish. B/c everything is so dry, there's not much standing water, but lots of mud for the boys to play in.

    Sometime about 7, tho, the power went out for no appearent reason. They told us it would be 10pm TOMORROW before we got power back. And it gets REALLY dark out here in the middle of nowhere! So all the neighbors came out we hung out w/ them and the all their kids the rest of the evening. Kinda like we do most evenings, just in the dark.

    I am SO VERY THANKFUL to report that the power came back on sometime around 10 tonight, I can't survive these days w/o the a/c. Only 8 days or so to go....=)

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  60. In Conroe, we had steady rain all day, sometimes hard rain. Sometime in the afternoon, we got a little breeze.

    About 7, when Lisa's power went out, ours blinked 2 or 3 times, and then everything was fine.

    I am also very thankful for the great non-storm Edouard.

    I also got a day off from work because it was suppposed to be so very much mightier than it was. =)

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  61. O give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His mercies endure forever..

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  62. Glad you all had an non-storm.

    Our temp may hit the low 90s today, and that is frying here cause hardly anyone has a/c. Their is usually a good breeze, so you just open all the windows.

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  63. happy belated birthday josh!!!!

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  64. Thanks for the weather reports! If it were possible to experience violent weather, without anyone getting hurt, I'd love it! Glad for your sake it was uneventful!

    FYI, Radiant Worship this Sat. Night at Sanctuary (Shepherds House) in the Woodlands. 6:30 PM
    We'll be taking the whole service w/ music.

    I'm also sharing this Sunday morning at CTK, no music though. Though PapaC will be bringing it on!!! 10:30am.

    Look forward to being in Texas for a bit! - Richy

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  65. richy when are you recording agian!!!!

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  66. Matt you look like such a happy snappy Daddy....

    I can't wait to see Trinity in person......

    She looks beautiful.....


    Happy WEDNESDAY!

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  67. Actually we'll be recording Sat. Night. But not what your really asking. We are currently rounding up spontaneous songs for an "overflow 2" CD. A real CD recording with pre-written songs won't be 'till around Summer '09.

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  68. travelin' grace and mercies for thursn-day

    come home hannah-spelled-backward so no one will know who i'm speaking to.... my palindrome

    lisa, you'd better let us know when you hatch....

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  69. Back in April...a brown bird made a nest in one of my hanging plants on my porch. She laid 5 eggs Now I have 3 teenage cardinals eating dog food every day. One of the birds is turning red and has a crew top....the other two are just brown....


    One brother and two sisters...staying around the porch...so kool...

    My mother moved all her bird feeders off of her balcony because of the Bird FLU....

    Do we have to do that too?

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  70. Matt- thanks! How's the daddying going? She looks great!

    Eva- Bird flu has not been found in the US. I'd say your mother is over reacting.

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  71. I guess no one wants to hear from the liberals.... poor ole liberals.

    ---------------

    SPEAKER OF THE FLOP: PELOSI SELLS 2,737 COPIES OF BOOK
    Thu Aug 07 2008 08:11:48 ET

    The most powerful woman in the history of American politics is suffering a humiliating defeat at the nation's bookstores, sales figures show.

    In her first week at market, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi sold just 2,737 copies of her book KNOW YOUR POWER, according to NIELSEN BOOKSCAN.

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  72. Matt, i hadn't heard that your new little one had come. Congratulations!

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  73. Finally - I've got an account... I'm no longer an anonmi
    Now, if only The Call was something where I'd get a chance to meet some of you... But at least we're going to PRAY!!

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  74. Thank God for energetic 29 year olds!

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  75. Will everyone please start praying that we will have an early fall? Some cooler whether would really make my year!

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  76. Dear God.......world peace....and an early fall for TEXAS please......and Bless Israel and REVEAL YOURSELF!

    AMEN

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  77. jessica! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! U NEED 2 BRING THE BEANIE BABYS FROM KANSAS TO HERE SO THEY CAN HAVE A REAL HOME! DONT FORGET!

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  78. let's see, who all is preggo?
    lisa - boy
    mere - girl
    val -
    d'ana -
    julieD -
    shannon -
    that's 6, who else?
    blessings and abundance!


    so ALL da KC radiants will be here this weekend, yes


    somehow my post yesterday, AUGUST 7didn't post?
    HAPPY 22nd to Johnny John-John John

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  79. One of the wives in the two younger couples on our street are pregnant.

    A co-worker is pregnant and due a week prior to Shannon.

    A friend of ours just had their 5th boy last month. They have decied to go for 7 children. They are really hopping to be blessed with at least one girl.

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  80. don't forget my lin in Africa is pregnant! :-)

    how many babies can we have in a year connected to this blog?

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Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

 
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