There was this Red Supra that sped by... it only had 3 hubcaps. And the hood was burnt a little. The windows were down, but it was a lady with gray hair.
There was this denim shirt that went by. It was stretched to the maximum on the shoulders, and wrinkled where it was tucked in, one time long ago. It was some guy at the gas station.
I heard some cowboy boots and turned to look. Worn black snakeskin... massive feet. Somebody else.
A flash of silver hair, the crunch of an apple. The smell of computers. Somebody else.
And every time my heart skips a beat and I think- you! But it's somebody else.
And I guess you aren't coming back. Heaven must be pretty good.

---

My dad died 7 years ago today. He was 6'3 and 280 on a light day. He had curly black and silver hair, and dark brown eyes, and a very tickly mustache. He was a giant of a man, literally and figuratively. He was no saint, in fact, he was a rascal. I wish you all could have met him.

I gotta tell you... if I were voting, my Blake Lewis would be in real trouble after that utopian anthem. If that sentence makes no sense to you, just skip right on over it.

Yesterday Toby drank Brynn's reflux medicine. I called Poison Control. While I was on the phone, he was climbing the baby gate and hitting himself in the head with the swing and eating choking hazards. But it all turned out all right.

So today I am going to Walmart with all these mini-Clarks and getting a prescription. If I don't come back, at least I died happy.

If you know Daniel Mathews, you should check this out... maybe he needs prayer.

Daniel's myspace

You know, I'm a reasonable person. And I can run on 2 or 3 hours sleep for a couple days... but the crash is coming. I had a pretty minor crash last night. Just tired. And frustrated. So my mom came this morning for 2 hours, and I slept. And then Toby took a nap, and I slept. And then Toby woke up and screamed for CPS and I slept. Well, really he would just give a big shout-out " Yo mom! I'm awake now!" "Yo mom! Come get me or somebody's getting FIRED!" "Yo CPS! I got a wet diaper and a sleeping mom!" and so on. And then he would sing for a while, and talk to himself, and then start threatening lawsuits. All said and done, I got 3 or 4 hours last night and the same today. So I'm feeling a little better.
And then, when I got up, my American Idol tape was magically on the porch! Good times.

Tonight I might go on a date by myself. Maybe to the Marriot and catch some zzzzzs. Or Target. (minus the zs)

Sheesh, what a morning. This may be the latest non-crisis blog I've ever done.
Just general mayhem and such... and a little plastic Ipod from McDonalds that plays a 10 second song. Over and over and over and... you get the point. And then I was writing a blog and the power went out. So I took a nap.

They found a new planet, did you see that? They think it may be able to support human life. Maybe Al Gore will go. But Rush says if it has oil, the libs won't go... Rush is the best. He really is.
Current conditions: a plate full of PBJs and some CocaCola for me and water for the gents. Good times.

Marnin, marnin.

More later. I'm cleaning up the house like a headless housekeeper chicken.

---

Read Richy's Blog today. It's really beautiful.

okay, really. more later.

---

LATER
Well... I wouldn't normally be so industrious when good mommies should be napping. But Richy's grandmother was coming to visit and it was her first time to see the house. And if it wasn't clean, Richy would beat me. Well. Actually he would probably just take off his headphones and sigh a little. But, man. You don't want that to happen.

So it was relatively clean, and viking grannys viking mama met Brynn, and was charmed by Toby and R2 and so forth.
Now Toby is sleeping and Brynn is fighting sleep and R2 and I are hanging out by the oven waiting for the corndogs to finish.

Ok, the corndogs are done. So that's all you get. Read the comments for an awesome sentence by anonymous.

This is real time, folks.... when the camera shakes, it's because Richy was laughing so hard.


an epic battle for control of the brownie batter...


Yesterday was Brynn's first trip to church. It was pretty funny trying to balance Toby, who is scared of the nursery, and Brynn. What a good problem. And then the church picnic... check the outfit-

In case anybody was offended by the hand sanitizer or the no holding policy, let me 'splain. (Splaining takes too long, let me sum up), she's not even as big as a newborn yet. One little germ could put her back in the hospital. So there you go.

Anyhoo, fun was had by all. Also this weekend we went to the park, which is where the ice cream video is from. (some kind of grammatical wierdness there..) I'll probably post some pix from that on my picture blog later. L8r.

*yawn*
Marnin. I remember when Toby was this age. All I blogged about was how tired I was.
I'm too tired to blog about that. Brynn was up pretty constantly last night. Everytime I would wake up and feed her and change her and swaddle her and refeed her and swaddle her and flip her on her tummy, her back, her side... the Man of God was sleeping peacefully.
When I told him how tired I was today, he said "Me, too."






Poor Richy.





Anyway. Toby is asleep and so this is my golden opportunity to catch a few winks. Peace to the peeps.
Oh, and I know what Rob and Steph are having... bet you wish you did!

I haven't mentioned the whole VTech thing... it's so awful and sad... why are we (well, I) drawn to things like this? You know? Like wanting to read the updates and see the craziness of the guy... something in human nature, I guess. But not a good thing. I have opinions, of course. But they just don't really matter.
I was blown away by Pastor Mike saying something one time, like we don't have to form an opinion on everything. We can actually just say we have no opinion. Amazing. Seems like everything I hear I form some kind of opinion about. But he's right. And it's a waste of emotional energy to go around forming opinions on tons of things I have no control or even effect over.

That being said, I still do have opinions all the time about pop culture. And my opinions are right.

---

In other news, nothing. Well. Dishes and diapers and baths and falling down the stairs and laughing and crying and peanut butter and kisses. Good stuff. Lord, I'm tired!

Oh my wow. I am soooo tired.
Yesterday Brynn had a doctor's appointment at 10:15. So normally, I would leave mi casa at 10 and be there a couple minutes early. Those days are a thing of the past.
Wake up B, feed B. Clean up spitup. Feed B again. Breakfast for small people... skimpy breakfast. Scrub small people. Fight Toby out of his pjs, into his jeans. Fight Toby into his shirt. Put his shoes on 3,429 times. Check R2 out, pretty good but switch shoes as they are on "alternative" feet. Put Toby's shoes on. Wrestle twin stroller from the pantry (I know, it's that MOG), into the back of the van. Develop multiple bruises and muscle strain. Clean up spitup. Put Toby's shoes on. Scrub Toby. Fight Toby into his carseat. Buckle a chuckling R2 in. Collect Brynn, in carseat, apnea monitor, diaper bag, and purse. Deliver to van. Collect goods thrown from van into yard. Give back to Toby. Sit in drivers seat, remember everything forgotten. Take pink blanket from Toby, put back on Brynn and go back in the house. Collect insurance card, cell phone, and more masculine blanket. Back to van.

Make it to the doctor's appointment only 15 minutes late, arrange people in twin stroller. During appointment, bribe Toby with bank cards (for chewing and drum playing), his bottle (not interesting) and a book.

It makes me tired just writing it. But it was a good appointment, everything looks fine. She gained 8 ounces.

Naptime, folks. Maybe.

**WARNING: IDOL SPOILERS IN COMMENTS!**

He wanted to make sure everyone saw this, from his blog.

---

Wow. I've been waiting for a huge breath of inspiration to say this, but I'll just go for it now!

THANK YOU!

That is, to everyone who's always helped us Clarks out during these difficult, yet wonderful 3 years since the twins. There has been so much consistant support... in the food department, gifts, hugs and lots of love. WOW! I feel like I, personally, have been under such a cloud of survival mode, that I've not done a great job at making my graditude known.... BUT KNOW.. it has been impacting. When you go though such severe tramua, it's easy to feel isolated and alone... 'cause everyone else looks fairly happy, and considers spilling coffee... tramua... BUT I know we have felt a blanket of love from our MCF family, relatives, and all of our friends in the USA and abroad! THANK YOU... and THANK YOU JESUS FOR ALLOWING US TO BE A PART OF SUCH A WONDERFUL FAMILY IN CHRIST! THANK YOU GOD FOR MY WONDERFUL CHILDREN YOU HAVE ALLOWED ME TO ENJOY FOR A TIME IN THIS LIFE! They have made it all worth the trial!

THANK YOU

---

In other news, Brynn has a doctors appointment today to check her weight. It will be my first time to take all 3 kids out by myself. I haven't figured out how I'm going to do it yet... maybe the twin stroller??? Update later.

You know, a lot of people out there are concerned about Iran and Russia and nukes and such. Even in my own house, sites show up on the internet bookmarks like, and I quote, "What to Do if a nuclear disaster is imminent!" I'll give you a hint... I didn't look that up.
But I find a greater concern as I surf the web. One that could affect you much more personally than a nuclear disaster.

Japanese Company Offers Free Repairs on Toilets That Could Catch Fire
Monday, April 16, 2007

E-MAIL STORY
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
TOKYO — Japan's leading toilet maker Toto Ltd. is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday.

The electric bidet accessory of Toto's Z series caught fire in three separate incidents between March 2006 and March 2007, according to company spokeswoman Emi Tanaka. The bidet sent up smoke in 26 other incidents, the company said.

"Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries," Tanaka said. "The fire would have been just under your buttocks."

The company will repair 180,000 toilet units manufactured between May 1996 and December 2001 for free, she said. A manufacturing defect is thought to have led to the faulty wiring.

Toto has been a pioneer in high-tech toilets fitted with pressurized water sprayers — a standard fixture in Japanese homes.

The popular Z series features a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, built-in-the-bowl deodorizing filter, the "Tornado Wash" flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically. Prices range from $1,680 to $2,600.
(bolding mine)

The topic of the day is... Crud In The Butter. It came to me as we were eating breakfast.
Around here, we use tubs-o-butter. There is a generation- you know who you are- that insist on "real" butter. You know, that that's the best and the only and such. The problem is, it's ROCK HARD. Who wants to scalpel out their butter shard by shard? No thankee. Give me a big ol tub of soft butter-flavored spread and I'll be happy. But I digress.
The topic at hand is crud in the butter. We are really, really bad about this. We dip the utensil in one substance, i.e. jelly, and then straight into the butter-like product. The result is jelly flecked butter. It gets worse as we get closer to the bottom of the jumbo tub. Today, as I was buttering my blueberry muffin, I found corn. CORN. Corn, butter. What could be better, you might think? And you have a point. But it's gross in conjunction with muffins.
Will I take action? Will I bring an end to the double dipping food spreading madness? Stay tuned!

In other news, there is nothing Toby can't climb. My life is over. He needs a bodyguard 24-7.
In other, other news, I like having three kids. A lot. This is going to be fun.

Butter or Spread/Margarine?
	Butter (because I am aged and old-school)
	Butter (even though I'm a whippersnapper)
	Margarine/Spread Butter Flavored Product
	Other (explained in comments)
Free polls from Pollhost.com

So, here are some pictures from the first few days. We should be taking more... but we're doing things like eating and sleeping, at least theoretically.

Today is April 12th. Your taxes are due in 5 days. UNLESS you're me and you do them the first week of February... if I ever owe, I imagine I'll be slacking just like y'all.
I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately. Probably because it's April and he died in April, and also because Toby is JUST like him. I don't know how to explain it... how a 1 year old can remind me so much of him. But he just does. All the time. It's comforting, actually.
If you didn't read the comments yesterday, you should. All kinds of announcements up in there.
And now, for some peanut butter toast.

my Mama and Brynn
Viking Granny and the little viking-let




Easter bunnies...

So last night I was thinking about my blog. About how BORING it is around here and what I could do to stir up some action. Last time, I got pregnant just to amuse you people. Well, no more. You're just gonna have to have your OWN babies from now on. I'm through. (God: MUAHA HA)
Actually, on that topic, I don't know if I am through. At least for a few years... maybe see if technology comes up with some keeping-you-pregnant pill or something. Or maybe divine healing. It says something that that's my second option, eh?

Anyhoo. I thought about maybe bringing up a hot topic, like Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy. But, uh... I DON'T CARE. Or maybe an ethical debate... like pirating CDs. But I don't feel like fighting. So what, I ask you. What?

and now, a nap. Good day.

(and brynn is doing great, eating all the time except when she's sleeping, pretty much. And the other two are causing me much amusement with their antics, except when their antics involve feces, spaghetti sauce, and/or carpet.)

Today is my first day on my own with all 3 kids... so far so good. Richy and I constructed a "safe zone" over the weekend which gates the boys from my bedroom, the stairs and the office. So that leaves their room, their bathroom (their fave place to play, go figure), and the playroom area... R2 will stand at the gate and look at me like... "maybe you didn't know... I can't get in there." Toby plays and falls over and cries (repeat, 12 hours a day). Of course, I won't leave them in the zone forever. But when I'm nursing and such... it's nice to not have Toby diving off things onto Brynn. Yes, DIVING. He's crazy.
Anyways. The plan (my plan) was to sleep in this morning. My sons sleep late whenever I can't. But any time I make this plan, God laughs and laughs. Brynn was up all night, pretty much. So, around 5 this morning, I sneak in the boy's bedroom with a bottle, drop it in Toby's bed. I figure he'll wake up around 7, have his bottle and then back to dreamland. And if Toby's not in there shrieking, R2 normally sleeps past 9.
(from heaven: MUAHAHAHA)
Suffice it to say, never mind. Maybe I can sleep during Toby's nap. (MUAHAHAHA)

Marnin...
Brynn has a pediatrician appointment today. I am pretty curious to see if she has gained weight. She darn well should have... With her and Toby, the hospital's schedule would drive me nuts. They could only eat every 3 hours, and if they started crying before that, they got a pacifier. HOOEY. I taught them the joys of "demand feeding" as soon as I got them home. And both of them took full advantage of it.
So Brynn eats every hour and a half to two hours. Why shouldn't she? I eat whenever I want, you know?

The first day or so was hard. Toby was really jealous, and it made me so stressed and sad. I had this "what have I done?" feeling. And so I was freaking out a little... I mean, I really have TWO babies and it was hitting pretty hard. My mom said she had the same feeling every time she brought the new baby home.
But it's better... Toby seems to be adjusting fine... he tries to hit her in the head and poke her eyes and such, but it's more of a curiousity thing... what will this little doll do if I do this?
And R2 is thrilled. He is just so great. I think I could bring a hundred babies home and he'd be excited.

And Brynn... what a princess. She is settling in. Her spirit is at peace. I didn't realize how she was always a little tense until now, when she's so calm and relaxed. What a precious, precious baby.

Some pix and a doctor update later.

Stylin, her last night in the NICU

I am not loving this carseat thing...
All dressed up and good to go










wow... I think I'm in baby shock. More later.

My heart is full... I need to write some pretty soppy stuff, but I'll have to do it later... I'm off to the hospital!

I don't know when we'll get out today. I've already signed 4,324 documents. So probably only another 2000 or so to go.

YAY! Oh yay yay yayayayayayayay!

No real news today... I took the car seat up to the hospital. Before preemies can go home, they have to pass the "Carseat Challenge".... (suspenseful music).. in which they have to sit strapped into their carseats for one hour without dying. We have SO got this one in the bag.
Still right about 4 lbs 9 oz.. she'll lose a couple grams and gain them back... and so on. But nobody's worried about it.

I am excited, but not really believing we'll get out of there yet. Oh, me of little faith. Or BIG faith in the likelihood of the doctors to change something at the last minute.
Anyhoo.

My house is beautiful. You should all hire Eva's friend Bettyann to clean... she did a great job. Of course, Richy walked in and said..." Take a picture. This is how it should always look." Or something like that. I couldn't hear him over my hysterical laughter.

And then today, the Type A in mine and Leah's relationship (that is, Leah) will be throwing away all my good stuff. Otherwise known as "organizing". Is it SO bad that I still have newborn clothes in Toby's dresser? Don't answer that.

So, do you want to know??
















We're going HOME on Thursday!! WAHOOO!

I'm frustrated today. I'm tired of hospitals and medicine and alarms and wires. I'm tired of doctors and nurses (no offense to my medical pals)... I have a baby who is FINE. She is FINE and I want to bring her home.
Ugh. Near tears here. I'm just tired.

We may be getting out this week. On a monitor, of course. I just sold my soul... that is, I am allowing the staff to bottle feed her twice, overnight... it's still my milk and it's the fastest way to get her out.
They are saying that breastmilk doesn't have enough calcium and iron for preemies, so they have to add formula to my milk for those 2 bottles. I have a hard time believing that. But I will nod and smile, because once she comes home, I don't have to give her any bottles if I don't want to. And I sure as heck will not be adding formula at home. Sheesh.

Anyway. I'm mad and not very spiritual, and I probably have rebellion. But COME ON! Give me my baby already.

Disclaimer: I am so so grateful for all the medical personnel and everything they have done for Brynn. They have been a HUGE blessing. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just done, that's all.