chipmunk blues

Earlier today, I thought I heard something moving in the garage. Nah, I thought. I poisoned the heck out of all the mice, they've been gone for 18 months or something. I am good at denial.

Later, I opened the garage again to find some paint. Something flashed by and I screamed like the proverbial girl. Just before I swooned, I noticed the white stripe. It's a chipmunk, I thought. The chipmunks from the yard are now in the garage.

I called the MOG. "I can't remember why I called you," I told him. "So never mind."

5 minutes later I called him back. "We have chipmunks living in the garage." I say.

"Aww," he says, like it's a good thing.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna move a trash bag and a chipmunk will jump out at me."

(uproarious laughter from band, who is evidently on speaker phone)

"They're not aggressive," he says in a patronizing tone. "Maybe play some Alvin and the Chipmunks, see if you can lure them out." he says, and again with the laugh track. Everybody's a comedian.

So, okay, fine. I'll just stay the heck out of the garage. Because the only other option is poisoning the suckers, and even I am not mean enough to poison a chipmunk.