Tuesday, July 19, 2011

chipmunk blues

Earlier today, I thought I heard something moving in the garage. Nah, I thought. I poisoned the heck out of all the mice, they've been gone for 18 months or something. I am good at denial.

Later, I opened the garage again to find some paint. Something flashed by and I screamed like the proverbial girl. Just before I swooned, I noticed the white stripe. It's a chipmunk, I thought. The chipmunks from the yard are now in the garage.

I called the MOG. "I can't remember why I called you," I told him. "So never mind."

5 minutes later I called him back. "We have chipmunks living in the garage." I say.

"Aww," he says, like it's a good thing.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna move a trash bag and a chipmunk will jump out at me."

(uproarious laughter from band, who is evidently on speaker phone)

"They're not aggressive," he says in a patronizing tone. "Maybe play some Alvin and the Chipmunks, see if you can lure them out." he says, and again with the laugh track. Everybody's a comedian.

So, okay, fine. I'll just stay the heck out of the garage. Because the only other option is poisoning the suckers, and even I am not mean enough to poison a chipmunk. 


  1. You are SURE it's a chipmunk? I mean IHEY ( you only saw one for crying out loud there could be thousands out there in the dark) are chipmunks? And you say they were making scrabbly noises and shrieking? It could be SHREWS out there! Radiant may laugh but if they come back to a totally quite house with only the screen door blowing in the wind... mmmmmama

  2. Er...THEY and quiet (sp) Mama

  3. I'm probably going up there sometime in 2012 to hang out with Chuck. I'll kill 'em if you'll cook 'em.

  4. http://whitetrashbbq.blogspot.com/2006/12/white-trash-recipes-3-bean-chipmunk.html


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