Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Gov Perry sets thangs straight

Hey, y'all might have missed this, but Texas declared its sovereignty yesterday. Maybe you don't know what that means. I, with sovereignty as a Texan, will clarify.

Official Press Conference Translation:

"Now, here's the deal, Mr Obama. Way we see it, your power comes about yea high (gestures toward knees) and you have been trying to work more up here in this region here (makes cutthroat gesture). 

I know you're new town, and you're a real nice kid. That bein said, I'mon have to slow you down here a little bit. 

See this region here on this map? (pointing to Texas) This here is Texas. We don't take kindly to people thievin. Not kindly a'tall. 

So here's what we're gonna do for you. I got this little book here, called the Constitution. I don't think you've read it, but you'd best give it a good look. 

Now, this here Constitution says you can do this, and this, and this. It also says you cain't be doin all this other... bizness. And if you do, there's a pretty big state willing to whup your... legislation. 

I ain't threatening y'all, understand. Just explainin.

So here's what we're offering you. You do your job, as defined by this here book, and we'll all get along jist fine. Jist fine. 

On the other hand, you keep stickin them long Yankee fingers in Texas' pocket, you're likely to lose a couple. Not threatenin, just clearin some stuff up. We was all new in town, once."

Also, today is Tax Day. Find a tea party, go to it, take pictures, and send them to me. Read all about it.


  1. hi pal : ) top o' the mornin' to ya

  2. HA! that was great!

    Lindsey! :)

  3. conroe tea party at montgomery county courthouse

    be there or be square

    send jess photos

  4. jessica clark you are AWESOME. ha!!!

  5. that was great. Have a great time at the tea party.

  6. There are tea parties all over the country today- go to to find your local ones...

    still trying to negotiate as few junior politicos as possible with me

  7. Thank you. This makes me proud to be a Texan by birth.

    Hannah W.

  8. ha ha, well translated :0)

    passed the courthouse at 4:20 it was packed already!

    Jess: you should to a TEXAN version of the BIBLE! we'll call it (TXV)

  9. Hey Jessica! I'm so glad I found your blog through a link on your Facebook. You're a talented blogger!

  10. I'mon leave this up for a little while. I need to upload my tea party pics. but first, I got two solo hours. Later, gators.


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