I've been thinking lately about the pressure we're under as moms, to achieve a quality finished product of a human being. We have to get it right, or our kids will be dumb, or weird, or unpopular. And our kids are kicking against the goads, because they want to be dirty and loud and weird. But the weight, the burden of their futures rests on us. So we force them into things. And some things, yeah, we have to. There are laws. They have to ride in car seats, be schooled in some way, stuff like that. But a lot of the variables are variable.
I remember when I had just R2, and he had all these autistic behaviors, and I had a bevy of experts breathing down my neck about changing him, forcing him into more "normal" looking behaviors. There was this ache in me, this resistance to fight for something that didn't seem like it mattered. He was happy. He loved to rock and flap his arms and he was a joyful little guy. I listened to them for a long time, holding his arms down, trying to redirect him. Then one day I realized, I was shutting down his favorite way to communicate, just because somebody told me I should. So I quit. And we celebrated with him, and we celebrated him.
There were days, and are, when I wonder if I'm missing something critically important, and I'm going to deeply regret letting my 5 year old eat macaroni with his hands. So far, very few regrets. They are brave, funny little independent people. I am thrilled to be able to watch who they are becoming.
If you're a mommy and you're fighting your instincts, quit. Obey the laws and trust yourself on the other stuff. You know what's right for you and your kids. Listen to me. Don't let anyone guilt you into fighting what you know is best for your kid. You know your kids.