When I felt the first contractions at around 14 weeks, I was devastated. By this point, I was extremely familiar with what labor felt like for me, and these were definitely contractions. We made up a modified bedrest plan…
So, at 17 weeks I went to bed. Richy was working a day job at this point, and couldn’t help during the days, so family members came and took care of R2 and Toby, and I laid in bed and sulked, a lot.
Eventually, my mama pulled another “Snap out of it” and got me started on a quilting project, my first (and last?) quilt. It took me HOURS a day. I dreamed and sewed and listened to music and I got my hopes up. When I found I was having a girl, I was ecstatic. I could not believe it. Finally, after 4 boys. We had chosen the name Brynn for a girl in every pregnancy, so there wasn't much to discuss, she was Brynn. We designed a quilt with pink and black and poodles and man, it was adorable.
Like my Toby pregnancy, we used Terbutaline for a while, and eventually switched to Procardia. I can’t remember if it worked any better than Terb, but it must not have, because we only made it to 29 weeks.
At 29 weeks, when I went to the hospital, I was pretty sure it was over. I had worked so hard at not being hospitalized for 12 weeks, and I was tired. I don’t think I could have fought any harder. Once we knew it was game on, they finally tracked down Dr. Reed, who was at a Steve Miller Band concert. She had to leave early to get to us, and she jokingly griped at us. It’s funny, because 29 weeks is still WAY too early, and we all knew there were no guarantees, but there was such peace in the room. We had the staff totally cracking up in between the stages of labor.
When she was born, they gave her to us to hold, while a nurse stood off to the side holding a bag valve mask over her mouth. It’s pretty blurry, since I ALWAYS take as much labor pain drugs as possible. Richy says she was breathing so well at that time that the nursing staff let him hold her for several minutes. She stayed in the NICU for 7 weeks, and was pretty much a rockstar the whole time, with very few setbacks. Her NICU stay was the hardest I ever waited through, because the MOG was working a day job and I had 2 toddlers at home, so I was limited in the amount of hours a day I could be up there. NICU life is an agonizing balance. I always felt an unbearable desire to sit and wait by the bedside, at the same time knowing the rest of my family needed me and I needed to do things like eat and sleep.
I never thought about what it would be like, having a daughter. It's such a treasure to have a little woman in my house, being beautiful and passionate and emotional and just what God made her to be. She was so worth the wait.