Monday, December 28, 2009

Toby is FOUR


Today is Toby's 4th birthday. 4 years ago, when they put him in my arms, it was like a sharp ridge of light just broke through the grief and the fog of losing the twins, and of R2's birth and trials. I did not believe Toby was real until he was in my arms.

I have walked a fine line since that day, holding him as close as possible while trying to let him practice flying. As I write this, he is jumping from the hotel couch onto the bed, and then back.

I live in a perpetual state of terror that he is going to grow up all of the sudden and I will have missed something, a moment, or a day.

I was so aware yesterday that it was his last day of 3. We ate at Cici's and drove all day and I watched him with a lump in my throat.

Now he is 4, and 3 is over forever. It was such a good year. I know 4 will be, too, but even as I celebrate him growing and learning, I miss my 4 pound baby.


  1. yippeeee!!!!!! Happy Birthday Tody!!!!

  2. "When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing."

    - Enrique Jardiel Poncela

    thanks for sharing

  3. i feel your pain... as isaac just turned 4...

    I'm very much enjoying the fact that he is staying much more baby like than Merci did!

  4. Happy Birthday Toby!! Hard to believe Keith is just less than four months away from being four also. Wow!


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