Wednesday, February 2, 2011

inmates running the asylum


Well, the end of days was somewhat uneventful. Chubby little baby cherubs floated by on clouds, gently tossing snow across Missouri. It was a lot of snow, but you know, nothing that could be called ferocious or blizzard or certain death. Still, its like a foot and a half of snow or something, and the children haven't left the house since Saturday, when their father went on tour with a rock band and the only keys to the minivan.

Kids are resilient, though. They find ways to amuse themselves. Currently, they're trying to see if they can make me or my mom turn to the drink.

We have toys. We have boxes and boxes of toys, and we have books, a virtual library of children's books. We have a variety of costumes, but none of these things are interesting by themselves, when you are snowbound. You have to get creative.

For example: a box of toys can be upended and used as a fort. You can also use the hard toys to defend your toy box fort, by bashing interloping siblings who try to join you.

When that gets boring, try to find a nice pile of clean laundry, and change outfits a few times, so you have something clean to pee in. Unfold blankets and drag them around the house, because you're a superhero, or maybe a camper, or a ghost, but not a Halloween ghost, so it's okay.

BOOKS! You could just read one, but wouldn't it be more fun to read the one your sibling has? GET IT AT ANY COST.

Carry around a flyer from Price Chopper, yelling at the top of your lungs that YOU NEED TO GO TO PRICE CHOPPER AND GET SOME OF THESE BEST CHOICE CORN CHIPS.

Really, though, what Grandma and Mommy love the most is running and screaming. Find a central location. You might have nearly 3000 square feet to play in, but try to find where the grownups are cooking dinner or folding laundry, and play there, because we are a family. Find that family spot and run, as fast as you can, in circles. Next, do Buzz Lightyear jumps off the couch, and flips into the re-folded blankets. Good, good.

The last step is find the cheese crackers, and eat them somewhere BESIDES the table, because a crunchy floor is a fun floor, and anyway, Grandma needs something to occupy herself with while she has a nervous breakdown.


  1. When you are 60, as I am, you will look around and long for this kind of joy! Not that you don't really love it now, because you wouldn't post about it if you didn't, I am sure. When my grandkids spend two hours chasing the dog in and out the door, I try and burn those moments into my brain so that when the day comes they are far too cool to visit Grandma, I can remember.

  2. crunchy floors are a must for every household

    what home is complete without it

    thetobmeister must compose a song about crunchy floors

    bryncess can dance to the song wearing a tutu

    you can video

  3. OMG, so true!

    We don't have missing keys, but sick kids, so homebound we are!


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