Thursday, January 14, 2010

It's not easy being shallow...


I am not aging gracefully. I think, at this stage of my early thirties, I should recognize that smile lines and crows feet are inevitable, and welcome them as signatories of a happy life. Not so much, though. I am protesting loudly against my own face.

It’s going to keep coming at me. First these wrinkles and then gray hairs (although my hair rarely has a chance to show its true color) and then 15 pounds I can’t lose and eventually, the horror of arm flab.

Now, my dear readers, if you are currently wrinkled and gray and a little pudgy with arm flab, you look great. I’m primarily worried about myself here, so lets stay on topic.

I don’t want to get old. I am not slipping quietly into this phase, and I think maybe I’m supposed to. I should just recognize that aging is a part of life, and not just the wrinkles, but the dying part. I am going to die. I’m not okay with that.

All I’m wanting is to live forever with a 20 year old body and face. Is that so much to ask?

Anyway, that’s a nice shallow topic for you to NOT comment on, not that I’m disgruntled about the lack of commentage around here or anything.


  1. as a fellow early thirtysomething.. I'm w/ you. faithful to purchase a bottle of color pretty regularly... now paying attention to those annoying oil of olay commercials for "regenerizing" products... but I want to say to God "It's okay, you do good work and I'll stick to what you gave me" but yet not so much with the actual doing it... just the wanting...

  2. I love you, and don't think you're wrinkly.

  3. posting more begets more comments

    tit for tat

    or something like that

  4. i agree with anonymous. i've had to fill my blog-reading needs with other blogs lately.

    tat and whatnot.

    funny post though.

    and you look great, by the way. stop being so shallow. ;)

  5. I apologize for my lack of comments. The truth is that I am so often overcome by your witty witticisms that I must sit and ponder them for an hour. Then, instead of commenting, I realize I'm hungry and go find something to eat.

  6. jess... your not wrinkled

    you had to know the 12 yr old look wouldn't last for ever. LOL

    i must say you have a smokin figure for a mama who has had a zillion children. shoot even for a a lady without a baby!

    besides look at how hot your mom is now days! I guess the Stanley women are like a fine wine!

    i understand how you feel though.i feel like my body is falling apart and i have not even hit 30!

  7. O my po wittle winkled DIL ..... I still love you

  8. Oh I know the feeling I am so not aging well!

  9. Aging gracefully? I was in my car the other day and looked into the rear view mirror at just the moment a ray of sunlight decided to glint off a thus unknown pearly white hair. I Immediately parked and plucked it out and stared at it in amazement. Then I went home and noticed they were all over the freakin' place! So, tomorrow I'm going to get my hair cut extremely short. And I was once one of your "kids" and YOU feel old?

  10. Also I would like to say...the older the violin, the sweeter the music. Amen.

  11. oh my GOSH, jess, i have missed your witticism! why have i not dropped in more frequently.

    alas, facebook hath stolen mine affections.

    ARM FLAB! i am totally on that same page with you. i simply ABHOR arm flab! simply and purely ABHOR with all of the abhorring that mine soul can muster.

    my skinny grandma had arm flab. my mom on the otherhand did not.

    i got arm flab in my late 30's. my biggest concern before i got married (well, one of them) (but we won't go into the gory details of the other concerns) (ask your ma, she did my marriage counseling) (oh yeah, you were in your judy garland festooned pink bedroom with a glass held agains the wall listening at 16, right)

    okay one of my concerns was standing at the altar in front of 250 people with ARM FLAB hanging out horrifying people. back then i only had one little free radicals little tiny bulgs right above the elbow.

    then after casey was born, i got the upper arm flab.

    this considerably put a damper on my flag activities. never, i tell you NEVER was i seen doing flags with sleeveless arms because of the dreaded ARM FLAB.


    i have missed you and dare say i will be dropping by for a chuckle more often!

    yours truly endowed with
    ARM FLAB!!!!!!!!


Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

© 2012. Design by Main-Blogger - Blogger Template and Blogging Stuff