Friday, June 17, 2011

girl, you're a nutcase now

I'm a bit of a chauvinist. The Google tells me that actually chauvinists are either way, i.e. a feminist could be a chauvinist, just pro-female. That's not what I am. I'm more like a male chauvinist.

Don't get me wrong. I like being a woman, and enjoy the company of female friends and sisters and moms and whatnot. It's just I don't trust us, so much, to be reasonable. It's okay with me if you're rolling your eyes way up in your head, that's typical female histrionics. Kidding. We women are beautiful and complex and designed by God. We are great.

But, I mean, who better to judge the instability of a gender than a member of said gender? Disclaimer: every woman is different, and I'm probably not talking about you.

Just sometimes, the fact that emotions are so powerful, and that I can really want to DIE (not really, Mom) an hour before being blissfully and completely content, makes me a little bit concerned that I, and some other women, (not you) are a little nuts. What kind of person almost cries at a dirty floor? A wacky one, that's what kind.

And sometimes it seems so simple to be a man. Again, I'm making blanket statements, and that's what I want to do, because I don't feel like being all thorough here on my free blog I write 4 days a week. So guys get together, do an activity, talk a fairly minimum amount, and seem pretty content. If one guy does something that totally bugs another guy, they might say something about it, or get over it, and carry on. It is rare, in my experience, for guys to have spats and break up with other guys, in a heterosexual bro kind of way.

And if a guy wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, figuratively speaking, they just take their grumpies to a deep place and then later they feel better. They don't need 40,000 words and a therapeutic friend consult + Sandra Bullock movie to recover. Or a few weeks.  Guys don't write 3 page emails trying to articulate WHY they feel the way they do. Again, blanket statement. Keep up.

Guys don't cry when they try on a swimsuit or eat a half-gallon of ice cream to try to cope with how fat they are. They just go to the beach with their gut sticking out and think, really, they look pretty. darn. good.

Anyway. I am just going stream-of-consciousness here because I mostly talk to people who wear superhero underpants and stick fruit snacks in their nostrils. It was blog or finish off the cookies.


  1. I especially like the bathing suit section! And the three page e mail...I bout peed my pants mama

  2. I just take a deep breath and think of something Arubian, ...or Bahamanian.
    Then my gut's not so bad.

  3. Ah, this is funny! As long as you're sure you're not talking about me....

  4. OMG Jess ! We are all ok afterall! Whew! I like guys too... so uncomplicated..... and they mean what they say.. short and sweet and to the point... no hidden agendas.... usually. Girls are more complicated and it stinks sometimes to be a girl... or an OLD WOMAN...... :0)


Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

© 2012. Design by Main-Blogger - Blogger Template and Blogging Stuff