Friday, January 29, 2010

The logical conclusion: I am a WUSS

So, let's say Roe V Wade is overturned, and 3500 babies a day are no longer being aborted in the United States. And let's assume that a number of those babies, maybe even the majority, are still "unwanted pregnancies" and will end up being relinquished for adoption or put in foster care. What will the church do? What will I do?

I guess I have to look at what I'm doing now for an idea, since there are already thousands of kids in foster care, and orphanages, and I haven't helped even ONE.

Sheesh, does that word pack a punch or what?

So, this is on my heart, and, as always, I'll bleed on virtual paper until I figure out how I feel.

I tell you one thing, I feel like a wuss. I sit in my 4 bedroom house with my minivan that seats 8. I throw away food every day. We waste money, at McDonald's, at Starbucks, while there are babies starving to death. My children have so many shoes we keep them in laundry hampers. Sometimes it makes me a little sick.

And before you think we have some kind of advantage, let me clear this up: we are under the poverty level here in the US.

Is something missing here? What kind of Christians are we?

I'll put excerpts from some of the blog posts that are getting to me right now. Read my clips, if you want, but then go and read their whole articles. They say it so much better than I could.

Susan Tyrrell blogged recently on Bound4Life's blog Moral Outcry.
As we recently mourned a father in the Life and adoption movement, Derek Loux, I remembered starkly sitting in a seminar he taught that expanded my view of my fight to end abortion. He said that those who support abortion say things like “We aren’t ready, it’s not convenient, and we don’t have the money.” Then the church says, “Don’t kill your baby.” They respond, “Will you take him?” And the church says “We aren’t ready, it’s not convenient, and we don’t have the money.”
The church, Derek said, is not pro life, it’s anti abortion.

"There is a great headache coming to the church as it realizes it has to read the Bible right. That it's not about small groups or mission statements or being relevant to culture, but that James may really have been inspired by the Holy Spirit when he said that true religion was caring for orphans and widows." (
Randy Bohlender, Nov. 2009) (my note: Randy is a father of 7, 3 adopted girls and 4 bio boys)


From my friend Tracie's blog (Tracie and her husband John have adopted 3 toddlers in addition to their 3 bio children, and John's brother Derek and his wife have 2 biological kids and had adopted 8 children prior to Derek's death last month. They live it.)

There are needs in your own backyard as well as needs all across this nation and around the world. Take that “yes” in your heart and ask the Lord, “What next?” Whether His answer is “Ukraine” or “Ethiopia” or “Uganda” or “The Department of Children’s Services” or “An Infant Spared from an Abortion,” take that yes and run with it.


And from a blog called Storing Up Treasures, from a family with 4 bio and 6 adopted children

More now than ever before we need to come forward. We need to take action. We cannot stay silent and turn a blind eye. In the coming weeks, more and more Haitian orphans are going to need families. But, they aren't just in Haiti. They are in Russia, Africa, and right here in your city. They are all over the world. You can make room for one more. I am sure of it. If I can, you can too. This isn't about calling. This isn't about waiting until you have all of your ducks in a row. This is about taking action.

Love is an action word.

I feel it. Man, I hear it. We're in debt, and we're trying to rebuild our ministry from scratch. Those are formidable mountains, but look at this... we've got arms, and a roof, and food and beds. I bet if we told an orphan, "Hey, you'll have to share a room and wear hand-me-downs, and you might eat a lot of beans and rice, and we'll cut your hair with shears..." that they'd think that sounded pretty good.

Maybe you can't do it. You probably can. But okay, maybe you really can't. Then contribute to someone who can, or get involved in some other way.

My heart is stirred, and I'm going to find a way.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Marching for Justice, part II

After we had participated in the Siege, and walked around, we saw the police getting the feeder ready for the march, and we decided to walk back over to the CCC and watch from there. It was about an 8th of a mile, and perfect weather. About halfway back to the march start, we saw a second group of people standing in silent prayer. There must have been several hundred people there, and I started getting choked up again, realizing that we had stretched out the borders, and filled them.

Throughout the day, as we saw people, I kept finding myself wanting to raise my fist and shout, in excitement and solidarity for what was happening. Then I would remember that they all had their mouths taped...

We kept walking and as we approached the underpass, we saw a big group of people walking toward us. It took a second for my eyes to adjust and realize the line reached all the way back to the horizon. They were a quiet group, 1 of 3 groups of 3000, marching with Life tape on their mouths, some with hands raised. Few people were talking, and you could feel the heaviness and the solemnity of the moment. It's not enough, some would say. It's just walking. Well, I was there and I can tell you that Heaven heard us. There is so, so much work to do. But for this day, we raised our silent cries to God.


I watched them coming. I stood on the sidewalk and cried as they walked past, every one person carrying this burden of the heart of God. Thousands of them, marching past. A half-mile away, Matt Gilman was leading worship at the CCC, and his voice rang out over the city, "Holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty." I took it to heart that God is holy, that He is above it all and that He sees. This evil WILL be overturned. Maybe this specific clinic, maybe not. But abortion, abortion will be outlawed in our lifetime.

I wrote this yesterday for my poetry blog.
Blush

Just the sound of walking
Shoes scraping against asphalt
Strollers whisking past, full of life
Overhead, behind and before us, angels sing Holy.

We are silent, because we can hear children screaming
We are silent, because their voice is denied
We are silent, because broken hearts make no sound
Hear our silent screams, you kings.
You will answer for every drop of blood.

Around us, trucks and helicopters and why, why, why, blaring from screens
“You should be ashamed” they say.
No, you should be ashamed.
Your hands are stained, and you have forgotten how to blush.

God, end abortion and send revival to America.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Marching for Justice, part I

Monday morning we all woke up at the hotel and had some Texas shaped waffles and talked to a guy for a while in the breakfast room, and then cheerily walked out to our cars. Richy's voice was still gone, so we weren't planning to lead worship at the Catholic Charismatic Center (meeting place), but we were still trying to be there a little early.

And that is where fate, or the devil, bit us in the butt. We were sitting in various cars charging phones and sending texts here and there when Matt told Richy his truck had been broken in to. It took a second for me to realize what that meant.

I went and spread the word to the other cars and we all came and stood around kinda helplessly, making lists and trying to remember what had not been in the Tahoe. After a minute, the nausea hit us all as we realized how bad this was.

We all gathered in a circle to try to pray and make a plan. Richy led in prayer as we all stood behind the Tahoe with all its doors open. I had the hilarious thought of some guy sneaking up to the open door and stealing the remaining stands and boxes as we stood with our eyes closed. I started laughing, because I'm so spiritual like that, and then everybody wanted to know why, and then we all laughed and laughed. It's just like that, sometimes, you know? Everything is so, so dark and confusing and then this little ray of mischief hope peeks through and you realize you're going to make it.

We notified the hotel and the police, and then the public ASAP via our mobile devices. Then it was off to the march.

First we went to the CCC. There were thousands of people there, milling around, worshipping, waiting in line for Life tape. We were pretty late to that, so we hitched a ride in the back of Daniel's truck over to the proposed clinic site, where 950 were standing in a silent siege at that moment. (By the end of the day, they would count 4200 at the siege, making it the largest silent siege in history). Now, if you follow the history of Bound4Life, you might be shocked to know that this was my first real siege, i.e., the first time I have put Life tape on my mouth and stood in prayer. Every time our team has participated in one, I was elsewhere. So it was very meaningful for me to have my first stand in Houston.

We stood single file on the sidewalk surrounding the building, 3/4 of the way around... we weren't allowed to touch the grass, and that was as far as the sidewalk went. There were "spotters" from Planned Parenthood placed around the grounds to watch us, and the official word was if even one of our water bottles touched the grass, they would call the police. The police were there, anyway, so the worst I heard happening was someone getting a whistle blown at them. Ah, America.

I stood, with my back to the freeway, facing this 6-story building. Behind me, Houston roared with life and activity, but my eyes were open. I stared at the 3rd floor, which is being outfitted to be an international late-term abortion hub, and I thought about my children, the children that I gave birth to, at 24 weeks. The only words in me, the only cry in my heart, was the 22 word Life Prayer. "Jesus, I plead Your blood, over my sins, and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America." Then, "End abortion, end abortion. Oh, God. End abortion." There is no eloquence, there are no words, there is no inpsired speech to combat this horror. Just, "Oh, God. Oh, God. End this thing."

Later, we walked the line and saw the hundreds, tape covering their mouths to symbolize the silence of the unborn, eyes closed, heart-prayers lifted. Black and Latino, white and Asian. I tried to take pictures to capture the enormity, the solemnity, but they can't communicate how it felt. It felt like hope, like this tangible hope hanging thickly overhead.

I'll stop here, before the march, because this is already looooong.

To be continued, again...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

little Texas roundup, part 1

I am feeling quite revived currently, from eating Chinese food all ALONE and then going to the thrift store ALONE. I heart ALONE, on occasion.

Now, about Texas. Lemme explain. No, let me sum up… we arrived in Texas on January 2nd and then we started playing and doing pre-call rallies at churches and showing the bound4life video and promoting the events on January 17th and 18th. Probably my favorite pre-call day was Saturday the 16th, when we played at a men’s conference in the morning and then a citywide youth thing in the evening.

About the morning: the men’s conference was filled up- about 80% of the participants were guys involved in rehabilitation and recovery from drugs or alcohol. This is one of my very favorite crowds to work with because they have been forgiven much, and they love much. They worshipped from overflowing hearts and blessed us SO much. I hope we get to go back there someday and do more ministry.

Saturday night we played at the Core and we rocked the heck. It was one of those flying nights- the band was in sync after all those weeks of playing together, and we gave it our all. Literally. We woke up on Sunday with no voices, from a combo of sickness and overuse. J Worth it. (also, little did we know this would be the last time we would play our instruments. What a way to go)

Sunday was theCall and we were scheduled to play last, at 10:15 pm. Our assignment is usually breakthrough either before theCall or at the beginning, so this was a change of pace and we were looking forward to blasting some high praise.

Except… we had no voices. We babied our throats all day, Richy drinking honey straight from the bottle and both of us swigging gallons of hot tea. We thought maybe it would work, but by the time we got up there for soundcheck, it was clear. Richy’s voice was gone. He made the decision to give up our slot, and not try to make something work. And it was God, you know? I would have expected us to be crushed- all those weeks of work leading up to this moment of being able to play together, in our home city, in front of this crowd.

Instead, we were glad to hand it over to Eddie James and let him tear it up for an extra 40 minutes. I’m not saying that because we’re so humble and holy- just we had so much grace. It was fun to be in the audience during Eddie’s set, dancing like fools.

Participation in theCall was awesome. I don’t have an official number of attendees, but I’ve heard 10,000. We were so excited to be a part, and to ask God corporately to turn the tide in Houston.

To be continued…

Monday, January 25, 2010

Literally, doing NOTHING

I’m back in Kansas City. We arrived at 11 on Friday night, and have yet to accomplish any real good as it pertains to the house, and the contents therein. It went like this. Saturday, we rested and opened mail and grocery shopped, first day back. Then yesterday, the MOG went to church and I laid around and coughed and whined and talked on the phone to my sister Leah for a full HOUR AND A HALF, which is my quota for all phone conversations in 2010, and then I don't know what happened to the rest of yesterday. I cannot recall.


Two loads of laundry have been done, and they sit in a Hannah’s-arms-shaped ball on the rocking chair. The dishwasher has run twice, and the sink and counters are full of dishes.


My room is exploded. Not literally, mind you. Let me lecture for a moment, here, about the word LITERALLY. Literally actually means in a LITERAL, not figurative, manner. So if you say to me, “My nose was so stopped up, my head literally exploded”, then I will keep looking like normal, but inside my head I will be consigning you to the grammatically damned, and 2)imagining your head exploded.


I digress. The point is, my room is full of clothes. A room can be full of clothes and be neat and clean, if all of those clothes are in their proper place. That is not the case, however. My clothes are dumped in rocking chairs, strewn across our 1 remaining guitar, folded in hampers, being vomited out of suitcases, peeking out from under beds, hanging precariously from gaping dresser drawers, and so on. It makes me tired just typing it. It will make me far more tired sorting them into dirty (and down two flights of stairs) or clean (and sorting, folding and putting away) and what-the-heck-was-i-thinking (back to the thrift store via donation bag).


In other news, I am thinking about writing some decent stuff, heartfelt and thought-out and whatnot. In fact, I should probably do that now, instead of cleaning.

Friday, January 22, 2010

URGENT: Stage Gear Stolen : Radiant Restoration Fund 2010


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For the last 7 years, we (Radiant Revolution, INC) have had the most wonderful privilege of serving the body of Christ in the U.S. and abroad via our mobile ground missions. These ground trips have taken us to places where few ministries go, seeing a great harvest, and countless lives changed by the Presence of God. It was our intention to officially launch a massive fundraising campaign early this year enabling us to continue our ground missions for another 7 years (or as long as the Lord leads) However, in light of recent circumstances, our need has become extremely urgent.

Our team has just completed a (sudden) 3 week trip around Texas, ministering to churches and promoting a recent pro-life prayer gathering lead by TheCall and Bound4Life. On the early morning of the Justice March, Jan 18
th (which gathered some 10k people) our vehicle containing our stage music equipment was broken into, and nearly all of our gear was stolen. Total value of the equipment stolen was $14,547.89. The $9,124.00 which belonged to Radiant Revolution, INC was not covered by insurance and is a total loss. (ask if you want an itemized list) The PD would not come out to the scene, however we have filed a report.

I know these are simply material possessions, however, to a musician having these particular items taken is similar to have you family pictures lost in a house fire. Each instrument had a story and miracle to how it was acquired.

PROPHETIC WORD: In April 2008, while in Nashville, recording artist and father in the faith, Ricky Skaggs, publicly prayed over me. He said, “it’s time for a new sound system, vehicle, equipment, everything you need, pick it out, it’s all coming your way.” (Paraphrase) I have not been contending for this word, until NOW! We are not only believing God to restore quickly what took years to build, but to meet all our needs to continue in mobile missions for the nation.

Last December our recording studio computer died, and was given a bill of $2300 to repair it. We choose to wait instead and purchase a new one once the funds came in. In addition, our mobile sound system has aged and is in need of constant repair. With modern technology we could have a similar system that is much smaller, more mobile, and faster to set up for situations like public high schools where time is limited. 2 years ago we ceased using our 15 passenger van as it was too old to maintain, and have been renting vans for trips which have cost us up to 2500 per trip. Our trailer has served us well, but is falling apart and rusted
. I believe now is the time to propel Radiant ministries to the nation in a fresh wave, and we need to body of Christ to make this happen.

We are boldly asking the Lord for
$50,000 - $70,000 to restore our losses, upgrade our sound system, get a new van, a new trailer, repair our studio, and pay off a small amount of debt from CD productions. We have had constant bombardment of people say our losses will be restored 7 fold. We believe now is the time.

I believe the Lord has validated our ministry during these 7 formative years by consistently showing up with His Presence, never letting us miss a personal bill, (even down to the last minute) through the affirmation of spiritual fathers, and the lasting fruit of changed lives.

Would you consider being a part of this restoration this week, by having your church, business, or family give to Radiant Revolution, INC for 2010 missions? We believe the nation is ripe for harvest and our sickles are guitars and amplifiers. All donations are tax-deductible and able to be reviewed by our board of advisors which includes 4 senior pastors.

For His Glory,
Richy Clark

Checks can be written to “Radiant Revolution, INC”
3905 E. 107
th TER
Kansas City, MO 64137

Or donate online via paypal. (credit and debit cards accepted)





https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=11355568

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See what’s on the map for Radiant 2010 Mission by watching our annual end of year report video. http://radiantworshipblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/end-of-year-report.html

“I have been very blessed and impacted by the ministry of Radiant. Their worship is passionate and anointed, their songs have depth and substance, and their hearts follow very hard after God.
Dutch Sheets, Author and Pastor

"Radiant is for signs and symbols in America. ... they not only speak the word they are living it out in prophetic fullness. The word is being made flesh in their own lives. "
Lou Engle, Founder of theCall

"Richy Clark has one of the purest hearts I know! He is a man of humility with real apostolic authority to break open the heavens in his praise and worship. He is a sent one; a voice proceeding before the throne of God."
Rick Pino - Fire Rain Ministries

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Read up on Haiti

We're leaving the beach as I write this, headed back to Conroe for the night and then out to KC in the morning. Here are a couple of blogs that can give you ideas of how to help the situation in Haiti.


Randy Bohlender

The Howertons




Wednesday, January 20, 2010

more than guitars...

I have so much catchup blogging to do. This 3 weeks has been hard, and amazing, and beautiful. We played about a hundred times (or 20, whatever) and slept very little and were so excited to be a part of this event. I want to recap some of the places we ministered at, and especially a men's conference for guys in recovery, fresh off the streets, and then I want to tell you about theCall and the Justice March- because HOLY COW. We had 10k at theCall, and then probably 10k at the morning rally, and march, and another 4200 (some repeats) standing in silent prayer at the proposed clinic site. It was history, and I absolutely felt the historical significance as well as the spiritual significance.

So I do want to talk about all that, but right now I am overwhelmed with the loss of our stage equipment. It is so, so small in the light of what is happening in Haiti, or in light of the battle we have been engaged in. Still, it's devastating to us and it's hard to see what is next.

If you don't know, Monday morning we left the hotel for the march, when we discovered that Matt's Tahoe had been burglarized, and our equipment stolen. We called the police, but they wouldn't come out, they just wanted us to send them a report. I probably don't remember everything, but some of the stuff stolen included: both of Richy's electric guitars and his pedals, JM's pedals and custom bass guitar, both of Hannah's keyboards, a vocal processor, and some other stuff I'm not thinking of now. It's about 13k worth of equipment, and only $4000 of it is covered by insurance.

Should we have had insurance? Well, yeah. We will now. This is the first time, in 15 years of ministry, that we've had anything valuable stolen. We are reeling right now... imagine if your business burned to the ground... how do you rebuild when your tools are gone? Not to mention the tremendous sentimental value of Richy's white guitar.

We are crushed but not destroyed. God will have to work- there is no way in the natural that we can rebuild that amount of equipment quickly- it took 10 years to buy it the first time.

Someone paid for us to go to Galveston for two days, and we are decompressing and resting and trying to make a plan. It's just instruments, maybe you're thinking. That's true... but it's hard not to fall apart right now and question how in the world we are going to do what we know we're supposed to do.

Maybe tomorrow I can get my head around the last month and give you an update- it was astounding... it was encouraging.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Details about theCall and such


Ooooh, so y'all are all snarky and stuff, all like, I'll comment when you BLOG and such... Shoot. If you knew the frustration of being largely internet-less, you would have some sympathy.

I have an internet signal right now, here at the ol' hotel. Who knows if it will last long enough for me to post this blog... only God. And He probably has more important stuff on his mind. So, if the interwebs holds up here, this post will actually be published.

Some event details: tonight Radiant leads worship at Fairmont Church in Pasadena, at 7. Tomorrow night we have a citywide youth concert/gathering at the Core at Willowbrook Assembly (Houston), and then Sunday night is theCall, we lead worship at 10:15(ish) pm, and Monday is the Justice March. THEN, I will talk about something else, probably. Well, after the recap, anyways.

More specifics about theCall and the march:

Sunday, January 17th Location @ 6:00PM We are calling for the pro-LIFE people of Houston, Texas, and America to gather Sunday night, January 17th, 2010 for four (4) hours of prayer for spiritual awakening and justice, from 6:00pm to 11:00pm at Grace Community Church.
Grace Community Church
South Campus
14505 Gulf Freeway
Houston, TX 77034
Parking on Sunday is limited. Please utilize carpools.

Monday, January 18th Location @ 9:30 AM
On January 18th, on Martin Luther King Jr.’s holiday, we will gather by the thousands to launch a silent prayer march through the streets to the abortion “super center” for the nationwide press conference and prayer stand.
Catholic Charismatic Center
1949 Cullen Blvd.
Houston, TX 77023
Parking on Monday is limited. Please utilize carpools.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

It's not easy being shallow...

I am not aging gracefully. I think, at this stage of my early thirties, I should recognize that smile lines and crows feet are inevitable, and welcome them as signatories of a happy life. Not so much, though. I am protesting loudly against my own face.

It’s going to keep coming at me. First these wrinkles and then gray hairs (although my hair rarely has a chance to show its true color) and then 15 pounds I can’t lose and eventually, the horror of arm flab.

Now, my dear readers, if you are currently wrinkled and gray and a little pudgy with arm flab, you look great. I’m primarily worried about myself here, so lets stay on topic.

I don’t want to get old. I am not slipping quietly into this phase, and I think maybe I’m supposed to. I should just recognize that aging is a part of life, and not just the wrinkles, but the dying part. I am going to die. I’m not okay with that.

All I’m wanting is to live forever with a 20 year old body and face. Is that so much to ask?

Anyway, that’s a nice shallow topic for you to NOT comment on, not that I’m disgruntled about the lack of commentage around here or anything.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Arts and Christianity: or Why Does Christian Art Stink

Today, directly following getting my haircut-renovation, I got into a conversation with my friend Brian which has stimulated my brain. I will now think on paper, well, virtual paper, anyway.

The topic was Christian music, kinda. I try hard to not be critical in general, since that's not love... plus, there are real PEOPLE behind the music I would like to mock. So, it's not so much why does Christian music stink that I am asking, and Brian is asking, but more why does Christian music not touch our hearts? Where is the passion, the emotion, the heartbreak?

I've never really listened to "secular" music. First, because that was the rules and then later, because I didn't like what the worldviews were behind it, or what it fed in me, or what it said. For some people, that is ridiculous, and they think it's a legalistic or "religious" stance. It's not. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm telling you what I want to do.

And the dividing line between secular and Christian is confusing, anyway, because the Christian music industry is a business, and business exists largely to create wealth. So there are people out there making music who love Jesus and love ministry and also happen to make a living making music. Fine, good. I'm not naive enough to believe that there is no one in it to make money, with or without Jesus. It's come down to a discernment thing with me now, and that's highly subjective.

Anyway, I digress somewhat. What I am thinking about, and pondering on, is our heart. Is it possible that we have primarily embraced a set of rules, and missed this wild romance that should totally overwhelm us and make us passionate and creative and amazing? And if we figured it out and painted and danced and wrote and sang from burning hearts, that we would make art worth having?

So how do we divorce ourselves from the profession and learn the pursuit? How do we free ourselves to love God wildly? Shoot. It's a good question.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

video killed the writers block...

I should really have something to say. I have lots on my mind and heart but no mental energy or space to organize my thoughts. So, you get a video blog. Because I can always make up something to say.
Or someone can, anyway. Tomorrow night Radiant will be in San Antonio... I don't know if we the family are going yet, but I think we are... I do heart me some San Antonio...

video

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Let's stand

We have achieved that mid-trip condition of continual toddler meltdown. Typically this occurs about a week in, and then we go home, so I don't know what the cyclical "end" might be. Now, we put it to the test and stay on the road an extra two weeks post apocalypse.

Today, we have our prayer/business meeting first, then lunch and practice for a couple hours before we head to 1960 for tonight's event. I might be able to stream it on ustream, if I can then I will put the link up here prior to the service.

If you live within a couple hours of Houston, and you go to a church, consider having Radiant Worship or a representative come to your church to talk about the Call Houston and the Prayer March on January 17th and 18th.

It's time to stand up for something. Go to thecall.com/crisis and bound4life.com for more info. Tell everyone you know, and then be there.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Blogging from the ol' iPhone as Netflix is,and has been, babysitting for days. Will I recommend that in my memoir? Well, probably not. But it's working, so I'll have time to regret it later.
We are busy busy up in the Republic of Texas. The schedule should be up on facebook soon, lord willin. The next event is tomorrow night at The Core, which is at Willowbrook Church on 1960 or thereabouts.
If you haven't watched that video up to your left, watch it now and then pass it on to your friendsand churches in Tx. We needlots of participation.
I typed all this with one finger on a 3 inch screen. that is devotion. More tomorrow if the crik don't rise.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Years pep talk, kinda...

Happy New Year, everybody! Every year, I resolve to not make resolutions, as to not fail myself and then lose heart and stop believing anything I tell myself. If I let that go on, myself would become terribly disheartened with myself, and eventually we might split up. That's how multiple personalities are created, folks- New Years resolutions.

There is some stuff I would like to happen this year, but I'm not making any promises, me.

• Lose a couple pounds, without working out or amending my diet. I would like to become spontaneously and effortlessly hot.

• Adopt a baby, with whats-his-name, and add to the circus.

• Do some deep spiritual stuff and get all deep and spiritual and stuff.

• Write a novel, with minimal effort and great skill, and get it published without it feeling like a JOB.

But you know, whatever. Even if I don't accomplish anything, I will still love me.

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