Saturday, November 28, 2009

Friday fiction: Jimmy is surrounded


Story archives here. You have to scroll down to the bottom for the beginning if you want to read in order.

Now, if you think about it, me and Jimmy was doomed from the start. Grandma woulda said somethin about water seekin it’s own level or some such, and what she woulda meant by that is that my mama and my daddy were two of the most rotten sorry excuses for human beings ever to walk the earth. At least, that’s what me and Jimmy come up with.

Grandma had a lot of sayings, about apples and trees and chickens roosting and bad seeds and such. Eventually, I guess Mama decided she was nuts and had her put up in the Happy Valley Retirement Home for the Aged. She died real quick, and then Mama stepped out for her Coke. It’s been years now. Still can’t work up a taste for Coke.

Anyways, Jimmy has had his share of troubles. He runs into the law every couple weeks, usually about fightin, or drinkin, or drivin without a license, or driving without inspection or registration or insurance and a busted taillight, drunk. One time he got arrested for havin coffee with a woman, although I don’t think I ever got the whole story on that one.

So, all that to say that I wasn’t too surprised when the yard filled up with police cars and Jimmy come runnin in like a greased pig. I was a little startled, since I had been in deep thought about my no-good daddy dyin and what am I supposed to do about it, but not particularly surprised. I stepped out onto the porch with my hands lifted up just a little, not so much like I’m guilty but more along the lines of I ain’t got my gun.

“We don’t wanna talk to you, Jenny. Get your brother out here.”

“Now, Deputy White, what’s this about? Y’all gonna scare my baby with all them sirens. ”

Deputy White turned around and told the boys to shut off their sirens. They all looked pretty disappointed, but they done it.

“And y’all put them guns away. I got a LITTLE baby in this house. Oughta be ashamed.”

Deputy White looked a little bit sick, but he nodded back at the boys to put down their guns. The boys carried on a little, and that weasely little James Lee Cole waved his at me a little before he put it back, but they all put them away.

“Now, Officer. What’s Jimmy done?” I asked, real sweet-like. Way I figured it, Jimmy should be fallin out the upstairs bedroom window right about now. Sure enough, that weaselly little James Lee Cole heard the crash and took off runnin.

I didn’t bother telling him, but he didn’t need to run. Every time Jimmy falls out that window he just lays there moaning till somebody carries him off. Not worth the bullet…


  1. hilarious

    i hope your muse returns more often. i'm in horrible suspense.

  2. wheres monday blog
    its tues


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