Tuesday, December 13, 2011

media fast, Day 2: lonely

Housewife log, day 2: Planet Your Mom

You know when it hurts? At 4 o clock in the morning, that's when. After I convince Tristan to go to sleep and I am lying awake in the dark, wondering if I'm failing the people that need me, if I'm destroying my body with Oreos, if I'm doing enough, saying enough, being enough. And my escape hatch is right there, a portal to a world full of beautiful things and funny people and people who think I'm funny, and I could click it and hear that I'm okay. And then I'd go back to sleep with a beautiful picture of a wreath made out of burlap in my head that I got from Pinterest and I will make it, one of these days.

But now I am on day 2 of an intentional media fast, and I keep running into my real self. That was the hardest time, that 4 am time, when I alternated between praying and worrying and listening to the rain. I talked to God, but there were no burning bushes, just the rain and the sound of my baby breathing and the ache.

Do you want me to write something funny? I bet you do. Maybe you should go on a media fast. I kid. Don't do it, it's awful. I'm probably growing and all, but at what cost? At. what. cost? Kidding, again. Kinda.

I drove around today, ate too many sweets, spent too much money. (relax, MOG, I just mean too much for me, not what normal people would call too much. what a lengthy disclaimer this is!) Here's what's developing in my mind. I don't think social media is a bad thing. I think it is a great thing. And everybody has their own vices... so I won't say this IS what's wrong with it. So don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. But I am realizing that I use it as a distraction, an escape, a crutch, and that's no good. The other side, where it is inspiration and encouragement and community and relationship in a global way that was never possible before, that's good. So. Can I have my Facebook back?

Day 2 in the can. 5 to go.


  1. A media fast would be hard...I am on the computer more than I want, but less than I used to be (doing things like reading blogs!). I admire you putting it all out there...gives me food for thought.

    On an unrelated note, I see you are reading a Robert Whitlow book. I've never read him, but he has been recommended. What are your thoughts on him? I know you are a voracious reader & would love to know what you read & what you think of the books your read - a review of sorts. :)

    Penny G (Nate's sis)

  2. I really like Robert Whitlow. He does a good job of unfolding stories and his characters are really likeable. He writes legal fiction, like lawyers and whatnot... in the vein of John Grisham but not as suspenseful. Also like T. Davis Bunn, the Try Dying series, which are legal thrillers.


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