Sit on the grass, you say. Lie down on the grass and stare up into the cloudless sky. Like heck I will. Lie down in the grass, which is probably a little damp, and just an inch from dirt, and likely, VERY likely to be crawling with insects. No thanks. When I see a beautiful woman lying on the ground in a movie, all I can think about is crawly things in her luscious flowing hair. Oh, and when you stare into the sky, it hurts your eyes. So.
Or picnics. Why? Why take my food outside where it is hot, and there are ants and mosquitoes and bees and dogs? I like to eat at the table, with the air conditioning on. I like to sit on a chair, or maybe a couch, not a blanket on top of dirt and rocks and grass, and again, BUGS.
Sometimes the MOG and I will be driving, and he'll stop and get all choked up about some trees and hills and the sun and such. And I look, you know. Noted. Beautiful day. Nice surroundings. Let's move it along.
I'm not anti-nature. I like to go to the beach and look at it, from my hotel room. I see the waves and breakers, the expanse of shore, the brilliant sky and light, the birds rising and falling like the waves; all the while, sitting with a book in a recliner, and temperature control. Win-win.
It always amazes me, people who go for walks and hikes and camping. Quirky. Give me a quality piece of furniture and something to eat.
|Indoors, with sunshine.|
I know in the end times, maybe it will be all apocalyptic and we'll be living in caves or something. I will probably be one of the first to go, dying from exposure to the outdoors. It's just a risk I have to take.