Thursday, April 22, 2010

I don't want your help, but...

9 comments:
 
*warning* there will be potty-training talk here, eventually. I am a mommyblogger, after all.


A relatively little-known fact: I hate advice. "What?" maybe you're saying, "But you seem like such a humble type! Not an ounce of narcissism!" Think about this one for a second. I have kept a blog for 5 years, almost entirely about myself. Well, and my kids. But largely, me. Might be time for you to re-think my tendencies.

Anyways. I do kinda hate advice. I try not to put myself in situations where I need it. Let's say I have a dilemma. I might ponder, pray, worry, obsess or consult Google. If by chance I mention it, then everyone is like, "Hey! Let's tell you 40 different opinions that are fully correct!" which, you know, is helpful and all, but not helpful. I'm a punk. I know it. The exception is when someone is a for-real expert. Like Martha, for example.

When I started having kids, I read all the books and got lots of advice. Only none of it worked because my kids were preemies and they didn't walk till they were 4, or 2 or whatever. So I just started winging it, and I like that a lot. I do give advice. Generally, because someone says something specific, like, "I need some advice."

So, all that to say, I think I need some advice. Potty-training advice. I don't think my 3 year old is ready. She does not wake up dry from overnights or naps, and she is totally unconcerned when she has a dirty diaper, even resistant to diaper changes because she's playing. I tried cold turkey this week, just putting her in undies and dealing with it for several days. She never once initiated a potty trip, although if I sat her on there for a long, long time, she might accidentally succeed. The rest of the time, she just wet her pants and kept playing.

What do you think? Is there some moment in here where she'll just be ready to learn this? Or will I pass up the window and she'll wear diapers to junior high?

9 comments:

  1. I have no advice, sorry. But I do have some (possible) reassurance. I tried like crazy to potty train both of my kids. Bridget didn't care, Morgan actively resisted. With both, I eventually gave up, and they eventually figured it out nearly on their own. So the chances that she will remain in diapers forever are pretty slim :-)

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  2. Encouragement is also welcomed, thanks! Especially encouragement to keep doing nothing!

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  3. Well, i've never potty-trained anyone, and i'm cool with that. But i was a kid once, and i'm pretty sure there were no non-special needs diaper-wearers in my junior high. And i AM sure that there were lots of kids there who weren't parented very well. And you're a GREAT parent, so i bet Brynn will figure it out before junior high. Just statistically speaking. ;)

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  4. Well....I hate being told what to do. Dunno if that is the same as advice, per se, but ya know - still, I relate. Um...Joseph basically succeeded on his own schedule. He would have some good days, good weeks even...then he's backtrack and seemingly change his mind. It wasn't until he was almost caught pee-pants in front of his friends that he suddenly and forever potty-trained himself (at his 3rd bday party). I'd say as long as you talk it up as cool and what big girls, princesses, engineers (whatever she's into) does - she'll get around to it. ;)

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  5. I used the book "Potty training in a day". Autumn was trained @ 20 months and only had 3 accidents after that. Andy was another story. Boys just take longer :) Brynn will figure it out before she is 5. They have it figured out before Jr. High.

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  6. My most successful potty training attempt was the first, I later learned had nothing to do with me. I sat her down, discussed why we needed to potty train her, and she never wore another diaper or had an accident. Of the next 3, two of them laughed when I tried this and one just said, "I'm not doing that." So I resorted to bribing with small pieces of candy like M&M's and Skittles. They got one each time they even made a little tinkle. This worked for 2 of them. The hold out finally broke when I would stand them in the bathtub and they had to remove the wet clothes and rinse themselves off. (I stayed there, I just didn't help except with turning the water on.) Night time is a different story, use diapers and run her to the potty as soon as she wakes just in case she is still dry. And there is limiting drinks a couple hours before bed and all that. I would tackle daytime first. Potty training is hard, but like others have said, they all seem to get there.

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  7. Wow she is three already? Where did the time go?

    Let's see my first didn't even start trying to potty train until 3, but he didn't get it until almost 4. His younger sister got it before he did. But everyone always says boys are slower than girls. My second child was completely potty trained in one day. All it took was for her to wet her panties once and she was over that. My third child was my baby for probably longer than she should have been, but when you loose one you tend to hang onto the next one a little longer. She was still potty trained by about 3 maybe 3 and 1/2. She wouldn't care if she pottier in her panties. That was hard. She did care if I left her in her soiled clothes to long. But by then we would have a discussion about using the potty, etc. I think she just like to test my patience. And well number 4 is not potty trained yet, and number five just arrived. Hopefully by early next year I will start her. Either way....the gist here is that they all learn in their own time and their own way. Just as no two pregnancies are alike, so are no two children alike. Just when we think we've got it all figures out, someone or something cone along to knock us off our spot or kick us in the butt. Soooo never stop learning!
    Julie

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  8. Martha ain't no for-real expert.

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