last baby

you're breaking all the rules

my parenting absolutes are in shambles

and as you climb into my bed for the fourth time tonight

I think

maybe you're the last baby

not because you're wild

and unrestrained

but just time and probability

maybe you're the last baby

and I'm letting you drink Coke

and I never let you cry

and my heart is knit to you

so unbearably tightly because

maybe you're the last baby

I don't make custom meals, I say

I don't reward tantrums

I'll never have a pet

As I sneak you a sandwich

because you don't like the food

and you cry till you get chips

and then feed the chips to the cat

last baby

you're rocking my world

I'm exhausted and out of ideas

and deeper in love than I ever knew