Sometimes I sit in the big chair at 7 am and ask myself, "Does God have a mustache?", but not because I want to know. If I was asking questions, I'd be asking a lot more of the "What's the deal with calories?" kind of questions, because, obviously, the food thing is all injustice. I look at them through the cloud of the morning, and I know that if I don't answer the question no one will ever put on their shoes ever and the questions will keep coming.
"Well." I say blearily, "The Bible says He has a beard, so.."
"Tell me about His beard. Have you seen Him? Does the Bible say He has a mustache?"
"Um. Well, I don't think so..."
"But it could, right? I mean, have you read the whole thing? Has anybody seen Him?"
"I have... read it... I've read it. I don't remember a mustache...."
"Well. I think He has a mustache."
"You're probably right. Have you seen your shoes?"
"I think God wears a stripey dress."
"Um. That's not going to hap-"
"But it could happen, right?"
"What would happen to us? We'd be dead, right?"
"Guys, did you have fun at the park? Let's talk about the park."
"If a meteor hit the park..." MUSIC UP.
"What if God wanted to fly, or dig a hole and hide in it? I know He doesn't have to. But He could. It's possible, right? What if He wanted to punch the devil?" Is there a laser ray gun? Is time travel real? Are aliens real?"
"You know who you guys should talk to? Daddy. You should talk to daddy. He's right in there, in that locked office, with his earplugs in and ocean waves on his speakers. You should knock on the door and ask questions."
"Are there robots who fight? Can people fly? What would happen if this was a REAL light saber? So most people lose their teeth when they're 7 or something, but there are three-year-olds who have lost their teeth, right? I mean, somewhere in the world there is a three year old with no teeth. It could be, right?"
"Will I ever get to eat your special chocolate? Can we add that cashier on Facebook? When will I be a grownup? I don't want to drive a car. Is this the future? When is the future?"
One thing I have learned from my daily interrogations is that technically, anything is possible. Except maybe running out of questions. Although I guess it could happen...