Monday, September 24, 2012

Losing Travis

I lost a cousin today. You can't ever be ready for it, even when you answer the phone and know.

Travis and I were inseparable in our early years. I remember the day that he shot a neighborhood turkey with a slingshot; we considered it a victory over terrorism. Long Texas summers went so fast, playing in the yards our houses shared, and later, when his family moved in with our grandmother, we would scandalize the GI Joe norms by turning the Indian into a girl, you know, because of the long braid. We got older and he moved away, going years between reunions. It's funny, our lives took different paths, but when we'd see each other the strength and tradition of family would be stronger than the years apart. 

I last saw him at Christmas. It was a good day, a rich day of laughter and family. I didn't know, of course, that it would be the last time I saw him. I wonder, if we were privy to that information, how we would act differently, how our casual familiarity would carry the weight of that boundary. I think in some ways it's a mercy that we don't know. 

I can't imagine never seeing him again, never watching him get old in sync with me, never celebrating another holiday, another milestone. I will miss you, my precious cousin. 


  1. I remember i used to babysit both of you together. He was such a sweet kid. One time he complained about coming to my house when he was four. He said I always gave him peanut butter and jelly. He never told me he was tired of peanut butter and jelly. Will really miss him


  2. I just had a feeling you'd blog about Travis, so I googled your blog. Even though we don't see each other often, or know each other well, there's something crazy about family. That whole thing about having the same blood pumping in your veins means something, I think. I didn't know Travis well, but I do know that he was important in this life. And just to be straight, all of you cousins are important. I don't want to miss those chances to say that. So, even though I don't see you guys and we don't know each other well, I would miss any of you Stanley cousins and I will certainly miss the knowing that there is a cousin out there, Travis, happily living. He was important. We will all miss him.


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