Wednesday, August 1, 2012

the fort doctrine: should sin abound


Now, having been justified by not punching anyone during dinner and acting like civilized human beings for at least 3 hours, you have been given this gift, to sleep in the fort behind the couch. And this gift was not of you, lest you should boast, but of the kindness of your mother, who hopes you will sleep past 7 am.

And your mother demonstrates this great love for you, in that she brings all the pillows downstairs and piles them up and threatens you in a very kind voice not to wake up your siblings who were not so justified. 

You see, just at the right time, your mother decided she would like to not see you in her room in the early morning. Very rarely will any mom allow her children to sleep in the living room, even a child who did not threaten to kick her brother’s face in the butt. But your mother demonstrated her love for you, even though you screamed and laid down on the floor at Target, in that she gave you this grace, to sleep like a vagrant on the floor behind the sofa. 

Since now you have been given this great privilege, how much more should you just shut it down and go to sleep? For if your fort is cozy, and you lay quietly and read books, how much more sleepy should you be than when you are creating traps out of jump ropes and rappelling off your bunkbed until 11:00 at night?

Now, you say that sin entered the fort through one child, one girl child. To be sure, the girl child did run through the house shrieking and laughing after 9 pm. But you, you were justified, and then you sneaked and ate an extra vitamin, and checked out the refrigerator. Thus sin had its way and you both were condemned. "But!" you say, "But but but but when sin abounds, should not grace abound all the more?" No. Grace ran out 15 minutes ago, when your mother was removing the stuffed lion from the air conditioning vent.

Consequently, one sin resulted in bed for all people. 


  1. BLAHAHAHA! so glad i don't have the only crazy house!

  2. I have a sneaky suspicion that it's your sense of humor that gets you through these "fun" times.

    Jenn's Mom

  3. Ha ha ha, brilliant. Love this. Amazing rendition of basic doctrine. Only slightly paraphrased.


Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

© 2012. Design by Main-Blogger - Blogger Template and Blogging Stuff