If I wanted to do my Google research, I'm sure I would find some animal that gets paralysis when it senses danger. Or maybe not, because then it would just get eaten alive, while paralyzed. Yikes, that's horrifying.
Still, I am kind of like that animal, or sea creature or what have you. Except I'm not an animal (except a PARTY animal) and it's not danger I'm paralyzing over, it's a BABY.
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| baby clothes!! |
See, all this sensitivity to the birthparent and difficulty attaching due to infant loss and random other psychological disorders is all starting to move to the back, as we get closer to the due date and all systems appear to be go. Now I'm looking at MOST likely having a baby living here in a couple of weeks, and my brain is exploding.
My babies have always come very, very early, with crisis and prayer chains and candlelight vigils (exaggeration) and such, and then they chill in the hospital for SOME time, like weeks or months, while we buy baby furniture and diapers and have a baby shower. Then, once they reach 5 pounds, we bring them home attached to wires and monitors and wearing tiny little doll clothes, and then things get "normal". So I have no grid for taking a newborn baby from the hospital.
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| Toby in borrowed carseat with "under 5 pounds" on it |
This morning I had the 3 am panic wake up. You know the one? Where you wake up and there are a lot of
very concerning things to think about prior to going back to sleep. Things like I ordered a crib today that will arrive in 7-10 days but do I have 7-10 days and I can't figure out how to put the car seat back together and we will have to buy another one if she goes in labor and I can't find the locking clip thingy and I don't have any clean clothes to pack to stay across the Kansas state line for days and so on.
The plan today is to try to get my house less humiliating for when people have to come and clean it for me and assemble my crib and wash my clothes and find my toothbrush, because I
didn't make a plan. Step 1, sit here and look panicked.
WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so excited Jess! But I am almost positive that this baby will NOT arrive at all until after the 12th.
ReplyDeleteI think that labor will begin the minute that your hubby pulls up in the driveway.
Do you have a team of trustworthy peeps to care for your children in KC so that your hubby can come too?
He needs to be able to go back and forth and be there and bond with Seyemore Fredrick Clark and go home again.
Is there peeps lined up in KC to pick up some of the slack?
Well, then, it looks like we are in good company.
ReplyDeleteSeems alot of people are feeling this right now.
You, your baby.
Me, my sales and Christmas launch.
Briana, her tests and schooling.
Peace like a river for all of us Jesus!
You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. Because we really DO Trust You Jesus, and we love You so much!
Sorry I didn't get to see your sweet sweet face, but I WILL on December 12 with a new little baby in tow!
Oh, and I saw this most simply divine Celery Evening Gown at Angelic Resale last Thursday and thought of you. It was only $15!
Hugs!
Kelly T.