writing a book, or, more accurately, sleeping

I hope you people miss me. I miss myself. In the last 8 years or so, I have used this space to decompress and to find humor in the challenging realities of life. I don't plan on taking a permanent hiatus, in fact, I never planned on taking a hiatus at all. I am finding life is much more challenging when I'm not writing funny stories about it. I will be back in business soon. In 2014 I plan on writing 4-5 times a week, consistently.

Over the years, people have asked me, "When will you write a book?" about 10 times a week and then it started being "WHY haven't you written a book?" and then it started being kind of abusive with some mild threats and obscenities and so on, and all the time I wasn't writing a book because the people I write about take all of my time, and also because I am on Facebook.

Recently, though, events have transpired to move the "maybe-someday" to "very-possibly-soonish", right when I have hit "too-emotionally-tired-to-write" and all of this causing "holy-moses-why-ain't-i-writing?"

So the Man of God, ever helpful in a managerial sense, is going to be managing me as an author. He has been attempting to manage me for almost 20 years now, but I'm fast, see? But anyway, he will be helping me to write often, which I think means I get to go out of my house and away from the children for whom I prayed.

One of the tricky things about writing about mothering and the shenanigans that make up mothering is... wow, what a sentence. It's clear why anybody would want me to write a book. Anyway, I MEAN it's hard to write about how funny chaos is because chaos takes a lot of time. But if there were less chaos, then I don't know if I'd have anything to say. I might get real boring once my kids get old and easy.

That was just for all you parents of teenagers. It's humor, see? I'm hard to manage.

All this to say, I'm trying to be back. Happy new year, everybody.