Friday, November 16, 2012

this post is totally not filler

No comments:

I live in reality. When you have a 13 year old that is not potty-trained, there is little glamour in life. I’ve heard that it’s common to fantasize about another life, but I really don’t. I just fantasize about my same life with more money.

If I were obscenely wealthy, I would buy things that I need, from the SkyMall catalog.  At least I think I would. I don’t know, because right now, I don’t mean to brag, but I could totally buy name-brand Kleenex if I wanted to. That’s the kinda money we’re talking about. But I don’t, I never buy real Kleenex because I’m going to blow my nose on it and it seems absurd to spend the extra 30 cents or whatever it is. So I might freeze up and have to buy the GreatValuejet instead of the Learjet. I’d be buying all my Prada at the resale store and still trying to reuse baggies, which never works.

But maybe if it just got crazy and I had more money than I could figure out to do with, rooms of money like Scrooge McDuck, I’d totally do deep stuff like saving orphans and buying can openers for the homeless and stuff, but then I’d have to buy some of the very practical items featured in SkyMall.

Like a 6 foot lifelike medieval knight statue. If you don’t want that, we’re through. I’d just put him in the dining room, over in the corner, and not mention him. A bargain at $650.00.

Or these rechargeable heated slippers. For approximately $140 I could have uncomfortably warm heated indoor shoes that one of my children would carry into the backyard and bury with an avocado seed, for a “guacamole tree”.

I’m gonna stop now, because I’m uninspired and also, I have to go buy some groceries. But rest assured, I’m thinking of more stuff that I need.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

Jess here: if Blogger gives you problems, just click "Anonymous" and sign your name. Roll with the punches, folks...

© 2012. Design by Main-Blogger - Blogger Template and Blogging Stuff