The plan is to leave for California so early tomorrow that I technically would refer to it as "today". There's a healthy to-do list in my head, which typically renders me motionless. Today is no exception. I have to do all the things! I think, so I sit down and refresh Facebook over and over again. Eventually something breaks the logjam and I do things on the list, a lot of the things, until the last minute and it's so stressful and it didn't have to be, if I would have made a plan and thought logically. But you know, whatever.
Yesterday we took the babies, who are still going to be referred to as "the babies" when they are middle-aged, to the school they'll be attending for a tour. We've been talking it through the last few days, the change of plans and whatnot, and I realized I might have laid it on a little thick during some homeschool battles, because there was a lot of concern about hours and hours of school, and hours of sitting down and such. "How long are we talking about?" Toby asked, already mid-scowl. "4 hours!" I say brightly, like all of this is my idea. "Home after lunch!" He considers it for a moment, weighing the amount of Mario time he's going to be trading. "No," he concludes, "No, I don't think I can do that." Which is exactly what I have been saying about this whole plan, but it is the right plan.
During the tour, the kids listened while we viewed a classroom and then talked philosophy, policy and tuition. Somewhere in there, a band of small females streamed past and Brynn just went with them, exactly like a social female 5 year old would, I think. Other parties that were with us were not interested in recess. I, being intuitive to the emotional dynamics of mother and son, and understanding that we are on the brink of a natural and necessary separation, gave Toby the floor. "How do you feel about all of this?" we asked him. "Anything you'd like to know?" Toby dug deep. "Do you serve food here?" he asked. They don't, but he is able to bring his own snack. "Okay." he says, and that's it. School accepted. Brynn came in after recess, flushed and surrounded by people.
Sometimes I think maybe they won't be messed up.
They'll start after this California trip, and I'm excited. I'm terrified but excited.
On the topic of California, we're taking Richy to be prayed for by a church that has a real heart for physical healing and, while we are weak in faith, we're still asking God to heal him. Please join us in asking for a miracle.