Been giving a lot of thought to the subject of spanking... LOTS of thought. Just kidding. But Toby is skyrocketing toward the age of accountability....

Joking about the age o' a... I don't buy that. But I have been trying to figure out some kind of discipline, that is merciful but still gets the job done.
My mom said, "I understand your policy. ......... But, it's stupid!"
HA... I have to remember that quote forever.
Here's the thing. I don't like spanking. I never have. I've done it, sure. But I've never been quite comfortable with it. And the more I read, the more it seems like the few Scriptures that reference the "rod" are not referring to a whipping rod... it is the Shepherd's rod, the staff... pulling them back in line, gently.

I mean, it always seemed wacky to me. Why would I want to hit my child? Well, not that part. I know why I might want to. But why would I? Especially when I am telling him, "Don't hit!" WHAP,
No judgment here... I'm just thinking about it.

BethC said...
does licorice expire?

This is the question Ms. Smartypants chose as the column-based question. However, she made the mistake of doing actual research, and thus, lost her humor. Fascinating stuff, though, licorice. A legume.
Liquorice, from Wikipedia...

In other news, I spent a good half hour searching for attractive bald men after Viking Granny's appalling comparisons. Found some good ones. In yesterday's comments.
Richy is finally back from Pennsylvania. He got home yesterday afternoon.... and there was much rejoicing in the land. He really is a fan favorite around here. I considered going to church yesterday, but it would have just been me... and Toby... and Brynn... and the nursery. So, like the proverbial second toe piggie, we stayed home.

In other, other news, we are moving into an apartment in October. We will be literally across the street from Richy's job. The plan is to save some green. Eat at home, etc. I like moving. I like being in a new space and figuring it out. I love this house we're in... it's great and big and beautiful. But it has never felt permanent to me. I wonder if anything ever will.

In other, other, other news, probably going to get Toby's hair cut soon. But just a little.

Last year, as I was attempting to write a gooshy blog about our anniversary, my spouse and I engaged in what could be known by some circles as an "argument". So I just posted pictures. Today, exactly one year later, as I began, once again, to write a sentimental blog... Toby started a level II whine and R2 just came and stood on my foot. And so I went and made oatmeal and now I have about 2 minutes before Toby throws the bowl and tries to launch himself from his highchair.

11 years. It's been good. I like these kids a lot. I like my husband a lot. I'm ready for him to come home now.

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The format of Ms. Smartypants' column will be changing this week to include only ONE question. She will choose the question from all those submitted, and will craft a column from her answer. You may submit questions from now until Sunday night, and the chosen question will be showcased Monday "morning".

So, like I said, Toby is sick. He has never-ending snot, and a cough, and whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining..... I know he feels lousy. We both need a tranquilizer.
R2 has started now with the snot, and I'm hoping Brynn won't get whatever this is. I am applying the hand-sani pretty constantly... fat chance. Toby looks around at 1900+ square feet of space, and chooses to cough directly in her little face. So there you go.
I am thinking of becoming a domestic goddess. I want to make a weekly meal plan and only grocery shop every 2 weeks. So I'm percolating...
Currently, Toby is whining himself to sleep (done). Brynn is mostly asleep, and R2 is hanging out with Toy Story 2 (But you've banned television, maybe you're saying) I'm a single parent for a week! That makes TV my friend... or babysitter during naptime, anyway.

Now, back to being a domestic goddess. The thing is, it has to be pretty flexible. I can't say we're having pot roast on August 25th and be happy about it. But I can say, maybe, beef something every thursday. Capisce?
I also have to make a cleaning plan but I don't wannnnnnaaaaaa

And now my throat hurts. Call the waambulance.

Today my husband gleefully flew to Pennsylvania with our only debit card and our only hairbrush. These will come in handy on his trip, where all his meals are paid for and he has very little hair to brush.

So I gathered up my stir-crazy little brood and off we went to Target, where we bought 12 dollars of miscellaneous items from the dollar bins, and forgot to buy a hairbrush. Toby and I are looking quite emo with our tousled hair today... I'd take a picture, but he took the camera.
He's at a Youth Explosion.... gory, no? I wonder if people ever think about the way things sound. Youth Explosion. Ouch.
Tonight! X-treme Faith's Youth Dismemberment! Youth Implosion! Youth Armageddon!

Anyways. I also took all these children to McDonalds. Now I have to go make a credit card payment for 12 dollars + 7 dollars. And find my checkbook. Sheesh.

Bedtime around here has gotten to be a bit of a production... wailing and gnashing of teeth and so on. So, I've started talking about the next day as an incentive to sleep. Like, "Now, tomorrow is Sunday, and we're going to church! Isn't that great?" and so on.... last night was pretty weak. "Tomorrow, we're going to make PBJs for lunch! Don't you want to make PBJ's??"
Needless to say, it wasn't incentive enough.

I'm in a bit of a slump. I don't know why... but my kids are getting on my nerves and my house is wrecked. So, today I will be un-slumping. Beginning with dressing "Baby"... R2's doll is busting the nekkid...

Peace.

Anonymous said...
Dear Ms Smartypants,
What is it that drives you to concoct such a plan as an advice column? Was it that your early childhood vision of being the 1st female president was dashed? Would you actually give up that dream to one HC?
My dear reader... first I feel it necessary to apprise you... Ms. Smartypants and "Jess" are two different characters. Not different personalities, mind you. Just different characters.
This reporter (Ms. SP) was given the idea of beginning an advice and information column after noticing the sad state of affairs in the world at large. With her comprehensive understanding of human nature and neuroses, it was only fitting that she share her gift.
Many people suffer from delusions in this day and age. By bringing clarity to burning issues like the appropriate times to wear pantyhose, or why Japanese children may or may not have bad breath, she brings just a little light into what has become a darkened and hose-less culture. She also straightens out wayward young men full of vim and vigor, who attempt to turn buildings on their sides and stuff them in airplane hangars and the like.
Ms. Smartypants has a vision to impart practical wisdom and fashion advice. Thank your lucky stars.

As far as being President... I haven't ruled it out. But right now I have three kids in diapers.... I would probably blow up Iran just to avoid some of these offerings....

So last night we tried to go to the movies with all 3 kids (translate:Toby) God will not be mocked... do not take a 19 month old to the movies.
He was rapt: completely fascinated by the first 20 minutes. And then, not so much. But the other adult in our party kept holding out hope that maybe he would settle down. We were down in a blaze of glory by 45 minutes. $23 shot to heck.

So the other adult and I rented a RedBox DVD (uno dollar!!) and put all the little people to bed. Much better plan. Well, not all the little people. Bean watched the movie with us.

You want movie reviews? All right, the clamor... it hurts my ears. The first 20 minutes of Rata-whatever were funny... the short film before it was awesome. Pixar. Macs. Awesome.

Richy rented Night at the Museum and I was all like nooooooooo.... Ben Stiller.... lame... gross jokes and just stupid humor. But nope. It was actually good. Good acting, of sorts, funny writing... I did win the bet that eventually he would have some sort of sticky substance all over his face because OBVIOUSLY somebody finds that funny as it is in every comedy. Message: if that's you laughing at somebody falling in paint/poo/shaving cream/syrup/soup.... stop it. It ain't funny. And maybe if we all band together and make some kind of Alliance against People Smashing Their Faces in Sticky Stuff, maybe we can make a difference. (Although a good pie in the face is still appropriate on ocassion)
I digress. And my Grammar Enthusiast probably has a headache from that paragraph. Nonetheless, I forge on.
It was a funny movie. I liked it.

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The format of Ms. Smartypants' column will be changing this week to include only ONE question. She will choose the question from all those submitted, and will craft a column from her answer. You may submit questions from now until Sunday night, and the chosen question will be showcased Monday "morning".

I forgot my own blog's birthday.... what kinda rotten... anyways.
Happy 2 years to my blog! Wahooo!
I first began this blog when I was anticipating bedrest in my Toby pregnancy. He was the size of a lime. He is now the size of.... hang on... I have to think of something.nothing comes to mind. He is the size of a 23 pound 19 month old. BIG. He is currently sitting in his high chair downing scrambled eggs like a linebacker. And to think 2 years ago I was really not sure he was real...

Then, about 6 months after he was born, it got boring around here. And so I announced I was pregnant with Brynn. Well, Brynn is almost 6 months old, and it's boring again, so....



You can breathe now, I'm just yanking your chain... Anyway, this blog has been amazing for me and cathartic. And so, off we go into the third year of the ol' gal.

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This morning Toby was screeching and R2 was still asleep. So I went and got Toby and I was telling him "Shhh..." And off he goes, "Shh.. chicka chicka bum bum Shh..." He's going to be a champion beatboxer... seriously. I can tell when he's doing cymbals, bass kick, snare... the kid is some kinda prodigy.

I got my drivers license at the young age of 21. Then I drove a lot for 4 months and eventually drove into an 18 wheeler. Then I didn't drive at all for about 18 months. So that's the background. Me and R2 ran the roads. We were unstoppable. That kid would sleep anywhere, go anywhere. Eat whatever. For 6 years this went on. Maybe I got a little cocky. Maybe it went to my head a little.
I would write more but I only have two hours, maybe 3 before Toby has to be napping in his own bed. CAN I... buy groceries at Walmart, go to the bank, Office Depot and maybe Old Navy?? We shall see.

(God: MUAHAHAHAHA)