resolved: loosely

Unknown12:17 PM1 Comment

I have a long-standing tradition of not making New Year's Resolutions. It's probably similar to the way I will only play a board...

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Toby is SEVEN

Unknown9:00 AM1 Comment

You people know I'm crafty. Remember the rainbow cake? I know, impressive. It is never more clear that I am an eternal optimist than...

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i hab a code

Unknown4:40 PM0 Comment

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It's beginning to look a lot like shut up

Unknown11:57 AM3 Comment

I've had the opportunity lately to listen to a LOT of Christmas music, and I have formed many opinions. The great thing about...

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rememberies: the year I dumpster dived

Unknown5:01 PM0 Comment

Here's the way it went down. I wrote this whole post about Christmas and I don't know, Karate Kid and... shoot, now I...

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a time to weep

Unknown11:45 AM1 Comment

I just can’t wrap my mind around the Sandy Hook massacre, or I won’t. Every time I try to consider, to imagine losing...

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from the bedtime files

Unknown11:51 PM1 Comment

"Egads!" maybe you're saying. "Who writes a blog entry at half-past 'leven on a Saturday night?" It's a valid question, and a fairly...

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update

Unknown12:23 PM2 Comment

Man. I hate blogging hiatuses. I didn't get a red underline on that, so I'm going with it, but the word hiatuses bothers...

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I got your information right here

Unknown2:04 PM0 Comment

We're still here, at the swanky metropolitan skyrise known as Children's Mercy. You probably want to know how my son is doing. I...

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in le hospital

Unknown11:00 AM1 Comment

I'm writing from a 5th floor hospital room with a pretty good view of the skyline. I would much rather be typing in...

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pwning Black Friday

Unknown3:23 PM0 Comment

There are moments in life where you have to take a step back and take stock of your life. "Am I happy?" you...

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birth order and giving thanks

Unknown4:11 PM2 Comment

I don't think I really have it in me to be the matriarch of a clan anytime soon. Of course, by clan, I...

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improving

Unknown3:58 PM0 Comment

I don't write about diet and exercise, unless I am mocking it. It's really a hard topic to make amusing. Plus nobody likes...

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this post is totally not filler

Unknown1:14 PM0 Comment

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tristan is two: an adoption story

Unknown9:38 AM3 Comment

Two years ago today, we spent the day in a hospital with the family that had chosen us to raise their son. We...

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a year without fries?

Unknown12:29 PM0 Comment

I rarely give myself public goals, because, in short, I hate accountability. I'm trying to think of some disclaimer that makes that okay,...

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a friend, lost and found again

Unknown4:56 PM2 Comment

Yeah, they're cornrows. Jealous?  I'm not really much of a mall-goer. I hate paying full price for anything, and all the stores are...

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maybe it's not the end of the world

Unknown9:26 AM2 Comment

I try, in general, to avoid conflict. Wait, no I don't. I intervene in conflict every hour of every day of my life,...

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voting with the crowd

Unknown2:59 PM0 Comment

We try to vote in all the smaller elections, you know, City Cupholder and Local Bridge Inspector and stuff. And those are, like...

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Won't you take me to Yodertown?

Unknown4:31 PM2 Comment

My friend Brooke always has these ideas, like: and I'm always like, "Ehhhhhhh, let's just go to McDonald's, no, wait, I'm tired. They're...

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Part of being a parent is taking your kids to events that are fun for them. I personally like to stay inside my house, but I fear their therapy sessions someday. Actually, I fear their therapy sessions in general, because when does a parent ever walk away scott-free when their offspring is being therapized? Yeah, exactly. Every dadgum psychopath in history might have had a lovely mom, but that's not what the news said. "Psychopath Kept Indoors Excessively As Child," the headline reads. "Ax-Murderer Recounts Being Told 'Life Isn't Fair.'" "'She Never Cut The Crusts Off My Sandwich,' Says The Subway Slasher." I could keep going with these, but the punctuating is getting on my nerves. And regardless, I could totally nail parenting and they'd still blame me someday because who can live up to that kind of Parenting Paragon? WHO? 

So I take them to stuff. Tomorrow we're going to some kind of Amish village, and I will try very hard to extract some laughs from that for you, but I figure it will mostly be sober Yoders, unless I can find somebody in their rumspringa to interview about their dalliances with Englischers and whatnot. Might buy some cheese. Exciting stuff, this.

Now, last night was Halloween, and, being fairly churchy, I opted to take my kids to a Harvest Family Fun and Fall Time Celebration For the Ages Festival, or something. Initially I thought they were required to wear Biblical costumes and, being a rule-keeper of sorts, I tossed around some ideas with the MOG and then settled on Daniel and some friendly lions. My life is a comedy of errors, and piecing together these lions from thrift store costumes and yarn and hot glue and wigs (which I ended up not using) and face paint was challenging, all right? It challenged me. Lucky for me, my kids are still small and they thought they looked GREAT and even wanted to be entered in the costume contest, which we would have only won with the sympathy vote.

We did it. Tristan sat in the stroller as long as he had something extremely sticky to eat, and, considering that I had squeezed him into an abusively small hand-me-down lion suit, it was a good call to not let him try to walk. The other kids did ring toss and clothespin fishing and all the other sorts of things you do at this sort of thing, and I hung out and ate their candy. After 4 or 5 years, we went out to the outdoor part of the festivities and they jumped in bouncy houses and then Brynn found out about the pony rides and I am rapidly learning to do whatever Brynn wants. She almost has me trained. Toby pulled what is probably the best thing he's ever done and waited in line and got hot dogs for us. I'm starting to think these little people might be useful someday. But then, Brynn desperately had to use the potty, and so I ended up scarfing my hot dog in the ladies room. I didn't even think about it until some of the other waiting moms offered their sympathy, "You just gotta eat while you can," they said, averting their eyes as ketchup ran down my arm and into Tristan's hair, blending seamlessly into the clumped face paint and chunks of melted chocolate.

I should wrap this up, because I bet the MOG quit reading several paragraphs ago. "It's too long!" says the guy who watched an entire season of Lost in one day. It was a fun night, it was an exhausting night. I think they had a really great time, and I will continue thinking that until I am confronted in a therapy session 20 years from now.

robot babysitters and the fall of mankind

Unknown1:42 PM1 Comment

Toby has a lot of ideas. I remember, as a kid, making criminal mastermind plans with my dad, stuff like "What would be...

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Grumpy Day

Unknown5:05 PM0 Comment

Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And I'm not speaking literally, as the MOG and I established sides in...

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halloween and my salvation and stuff

Unknown3:29 PM5 Comment

I'm not sure if I'm getting more mature or backsliding. I tend to think I am backsliding and am one Hulu episode away...

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Friday fave: Momologue

Unknown12:53 PM0 Comment

Continuing to post some of my favorite older posts on Fridays. This one was inspired by a particularly painful trip to Walmart.  "Okay,...

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What I did on my Autumn Desolation

Unknown3:55 PM1 Comment

Some of you know that I have been engaged in the dark night of the soul lately, and by dark night, I mean,...

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God with us

Unknown9:37 AM1 Comment

(hoping to be back up to full blogging speed next week, stay tuned!) I recently sat down for an interview with the Podqueen,...

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You gotta know when to hold em.

Unknown4:31 PM1 Comment

I wake up full of ideas. Today, I think, I am gonna get some stuff done. For one thing, my laptop has gone...

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