Song of Songs

At night, my love came to me, in the dark of night, when I was asleep. "Let's talk of worrisome things," he said to me, while I slept. "Let's talk of aliens, death and doomsday." But I did not incline my ear to him, for I was sleeping. "Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth," he inquired, but I did not incline my lips, for I was sleeping.

When I awoke, my love was gone. Only a pile of laundry and pool of water was left of him, on the bathroom floor. I longed for the one I loved, for he had the keys. I looked for the one my soul loved. "Have you seen him?" I asked the maidens, typing updates on their Facebooks and making spreadsheets. "Have you seen him?" I asked the young men, carrying guitars and speakers to and fro. I ran to the gates of the city and sent a text, "Where are you? I have to get this check in the bank before 2." My love answered me, his voice came to me and it was sweet. "I am in a meeting. Can't talk." I went back to the king's chambers and composed poetry for my king, angry poetry about answering his phone and putting money in the bank. 

My love called to me from the hills, from the mountains where he and his men had driven the chariot and trailer. The daughter of Jerusalem, and the sons, yelled up the stairs, for my phone was ringing, with the ringtone of the one whom I loved. I ran down the stairs, for my heart was eager to tell him of a garage sale, and of the maidens who sold peaches on the roadside, but I missed his call. My love left a message, and he asked of me that I would pay the light bill. 

Here is my love, riding in a white van! How shiny is his head, how even his smile, like a row of teeth, residing in a mouth. I run to the one I love, and I take him into the house, where the sons and daughter of Jerusalem punch him in the stomach, for how can they help but love him? 

He is my love, my friend. He sustains me with Oreos and promises of hours alone, away from him and the children whom I love, for I am weak. How sweet are the promises of the king, how good are his intentions! He is altogether lovely, except the annoying stuff.