Nonetheless, we have had a couple of terrible days around here, as it relates to Bean and her will.
It's a challenge for me to figure out, because Toby was so logical- I mean, he has always been into everything, and he makes lots of messes, but if I explain "You can't play with knives because you will cut your fingers and bleed," he gets that and stops playing with knives. Brynn does not believe me. In her eyes, I am a one man party crashing bully.
Today, Bean refused to wear a napkin on her shirt during lunch. Now, I let my kids eat. Sometimes, they get covered head-to-toe in spaghetti, and I just roll with it. But when we are out running errands, I want them to only get dirty in washable areas, i.e. not their shirts. (explore: vinyl clothing. Research needed)
It went something like this. I tuck the napkin into her collar. She takes one bite and then pulls the napkin out and throws it on the floor. I tuck it back in, explaining.
"You have to wear this because-"
"I NO WERDIS! NO NO NO!"
Brynn, you have to-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"Okay, fine, you don't wear it, you don't eat"
(alarmed glances at nearby tables "Is she starving that child?")
"I WAND MY FOOOOOOOOOOOD! NO I NO WERDIS I WAND FOOD NO I NO!"
"If you want to eat, then you have to wear the napkin."
(wailing, concerned looks)
The MOG tells her, "You have to wear the napkin first."
(wailing, gnashing of teeth, "I NO WERDIS!")
The MOG asks me, "Is this the hill you want to die on?"
Well, no. Not anymore, with the bystanders and the screaming. I crumble and give the nachos back.
"I AW DONE. I GO TRASH." she explains, crumpling up her paper.
I cratered under the pressure. Will she ever believe I am the boss? Maybe we should just stay inside the house until this phase is over so I can spank and threaten to my heart's content. Sheesh.
Luckily, before the exact scenario happened in public for us, it had already played out at home a couple times, so Keith took me serious when I pulled his plate away at the restaurant and said he wasn't eating until he put the bib back on, so he didn't put up a fight.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the "terrible twos" thing. We've never said ourselves, and when others would say it I'll tell them I don't want to have an overall negative disposition of my child. We have our good days, and not so good days, it's just part of being called daddy.
yup.
ReplyDeletejust make sure you don't cave too
often.
i believe that if they think you are serious enough they will cease and desist.....
Amen! Put a napkin on her at home and practice --
ReplyDeleteDeliberate disobedience is a big deal! The battle needs to be won by the parent every time in the privacy of your home before you can expect them to obey in public!
nahhhh... just bring an extra shirt next time ;0) J/J
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm just lucky cause i have some amazing and obedient children. Spankings are rarely needed (but stern when needed)
I sat back today at a restaurant and just watched my kids in awe of there AWESOMENESS!!! :0)
Had a great moment with Merci! now she is 8 and we have been dealing with a little disrespect. arguing with minor things usually in a joking manner (still unacceptable)
last weekend we had a little issue occur and i was REALLY UPSET! so i told her to go to her room and i just shut the door and separated my self from her(that was for both of us) also i thought about the consequence of sin is separation from god. So she sinned against me, and i separated her from me. Then i went in and told her a story about my mom and how when she was 12 her father left for work, and died. I told her we should never take each other for granted and would NEVER want our last memories of one another to be disrespectful or ugly memories. so then i told her i was going to give her some time to think about it and i would be back to talk more. so i left her again and i prayed. I asked God to GET HER HEART not her behavior! and sure enough about 30min later she burst out of her room weeping into my arms! she began to tell me, " I have just done mean things lately and that's not who I am and not who i want to be!" I of course assured her that her heart was beautiful but we all make mistakes.
It was a beautiful moment! It not only encouraged me concerning her but encouraged me in my own personal life too!
ahhh KIDS! :0)
That's great, Crystal! Thanks for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteGreat moment w Merci!
ReplyDeleteI have the advantage of hindsight and years of mistakes (most of which are public knowledge)
We should never give instruction that we do not plan on enforcing - this only teaches a child how to NOT obey-
We should never ignore deliberate disobediance - when did obeying become optional?
No matter how smart a child is or isn't - they all get the message behind a good old fashioned spanking spoon-
Smart ones only need one!